Jesus Pursued Me ~ Tess Jurgens Ep. 166

What if the greatest truth about your story is not what happened to you, but who never stopped pursuing you?

In this deeply moving episode of Living the Reclaimed Life, Robin Blumenthal sits down with author, speaker, and innovation expert Tess Jurgens to share a story of heartbreak, healing, and unwavering hope.

From the outside, Tess appeared successful. She earned a PhD in Chemical Engineering, built a thriving consulting business, authored multiple books, and spent decades helping organizations grow through creativity and innovation. Yet behind the accomplishments was a woman living through years of emotional abuse, control, and isolation.

After thirty years of marriage, Tess found herself leaving with little more than a few belongings, trusting God to lead her one step at a time into an entirely new life.

Robin and Tess also explore what it means to discover freedom after years of believing the painful messages spoken by others. Together they discuss identity, purpose, community, and the healing that comes when we begin believing what God says about us instead.

If you have ever felt unseen, stuck, rejected, or wondered if God still has a purpose for your life, this conversation will remind you that hope is never out of reach.

Tess has a book coming out soon - “Project Me: Becoming a Creative Christian Leader”

Stay connected with Tess: https://www.linkedin.com/in/teresajurgens/

Connect with Reclaimed Story

If this episode encouraged you, share it with a friend who needs the reminder that Jesus is still pursuing her. Healing happens one story at a time, and your story matters.

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Transcript

 Transcript is auto-generated!

Speaker 1  00:00

Jesus pursued me. He sat with me. He cried for me. You are more than enough. You are mine. Jesus pursued me. He is with me. I am new. I am free, not alone. He is with me. Jesus pursued me.

Speaker 2  00:20

Hello and welcome to Living the Reclaim Life podcast. My name is Robin Blumenthal, and I'm one of the co-hosts of this podcast. And today we'll be talking with Tess Juergens. She is a writer, a trainer. She has a PhD in chemical engineering, and she has spent 25 years working with organizations on innovation, creativity, and project management, but today she talks a little bit about her journey, her journey of realizing that Jesus has pursued her in all of these years. He has walked with her. He has pulled her out of the pit and out of the quicksand, and given her hope, join us as we listen.

Speaker 3  01:04

This episode is provided by Southwest Investment Advisors. As financial advisors, they spend their careers helping people plan for their future, supporting organizations that assist families and provide compassionate care. Aligns with their commitment to helping individuals and communities thrive. You can connect with them at www.siatuosand.com.

Speaker 2  01:34

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Living the Reclaimed Life. My name is Robin Blumenthal, and I'm one of the co-hosts. And today I'm with Tess Juergens, and Tess is an amazing woman. As I was looking through your bio, Tess, I was thinking about, gosh, you have a PhD in chemical engineering. You have taught and led in innovation, in creativity, in project management, in goal setting for more than 25 years. And if somebody were to just meet you on the street or leading a seminar, they may not realize that there's quite a bit of story that has happened, and quite a bit of life that's happened to you that you have overcome, that you've reclaimed so much. And the reason we wanted to have you as a guest today is to one talk a little bit about kind of where you've been and where you are, and where God is leading you. So thanks for being here, and I'm going to hand it over to you. And Tess, thank you for being here.

Speaker 1  02:28

Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it was. It's good to meet you and Denisha and the work that you're doing. I went to get a PhD in chemical engineering because I wanted to teach, and then I fell in love and got married while I was in graduate school. Went to work, and after about 13 years, I left to start my own consulting company. And then during that period, things got a lot worse with my husband of 30 years, during the last 15 years, things got really bad, and then after COVID, things got what I would call horrible. So he took an early retirement from Texas, and we retired retired at an early age, mid 50s, to Northern Arizona, and all of his bad behaviors became really, really bad. I, yeah, I have a PhD in chemical engineering, but every day I heard how stupid I was. Every day I heard how careless I was and how inattentive. And and I did everything. And when I say everything, most people think that means he didn't do what I wanted all of him to do, but I literally did everything. He didn't even know where the dishes went in the kitchen or things like that, and so all those behaviors got worse and worse. And I was praying at the time every day. Thank you, God, for pulling me out of the mucky pits. That's in one of the psalms someplace, and I kept praying. Thank you for pulling me out of the mucky pits. And I finally got to the point. Thank you for pulling me out of the quicksand. And I had been engaged to do a training workshop with a group that I'd worked with a lot on innovation in September of 2024, and we had lived in Arizona from May and or April, May until that time, and I couldn't go back. So I had almost nothing in my car except a few suits to wear to the training workshop, a tent, a sleeping bag, and a collapsible camping chair. And I drove to Tucson, and got an apartment, and said, "You know, I told him we need to, we need to change. Something has to change, and. The thing that changed was he changed the locks on the house and that I had designed and decorated and had put my heart into. That's that's what changed. And so fast forward a couple of years, I was God just blessed me when I got to Tucson in amazing, amazing ways. I was moving into my apartment, and the people across the hall. I said, "Gee, I need to find a church. They connected me with Pantiano, where you had been, Robin. And the first person I met when I walked in said, "I asked her, 'Do you know if there's a lady's Bible study? She said yes. I run one, and then the first person's house that it was at was my now my I call her my my hiking Sherpa. She takes me hiking everywhere and has listened to hours and hours of of my stories. And God has repaired me in a lot of ways. I realize I'm much more than what He had said I was, and I've I'm growing again and learning again.

Speaker 2  06:15

Wow, that's that's a succinct 30-year summary if you think about it, of where you were and where God took you, I'd like to go back to a couple things you shared in there. You talked about your prayer was almost a praise. Thank you for bringing me out of this pit in the quicksand. But it sounds like you're that was where you were placing your hope because you were still in the pit in the quicksand, when you were praying, that it it sounds like if I heard your your timing,

Speaker 1  06:46

yeah. So for years, literally for years, I I prayed every day. Thank you for pulling me out of the mucky pits, and I would look for anything that I saw as a beautiful sign. So I lived in the Texas Gulf Coast at the time, and if I saw a seagull, I would say, "God brought that seagull. Thank you for pulling me out of the mucky pit. Or I'd see a good sunrise. Thank you for pulling me out of that mucky pit. I'd look at the palm trees with the sunset behind them and say, "Thank you for pulling me out of the mucky pit. I don't think I realized where I was at, how deep into it I was, because it was-it's very textbook. Every all these elements of control and manipulation that he had-I mean, it just was textbook. And when I started reading about boundaries, the books say, "Oh, they're going to this person that manipulates you will respond this way exactly how he responded. So I don't think I realized how bad things were until he was there 24/7, and then I realized those date those hours when he went to work. I worked from home with my consulting firm. I don't think I realized how bad things were. So all of

Speaker 2  08:03

that hope you were-it was both a placing your hope, both the future and in those moments, and then realizing later that that God was one, the only place to place your hope, and also that you were-it was a continual journey. It was a years long realization of the hope that you needed, the hope that you were clinging to, and the hope that you are now living in.

Speaker 1  08:30

Yeah, yeah, I would say so. I actually have a necklace on that has the number 41 on it that a friend gave me. The Israelites wandered the desert for 40 years. The 41st was good. Jesus was in the wilderness, tempted for 40 days. On the 41st, there was hope, and so that just she gave this to me because she'd been through some trauma and said, "I want to help you. And wow, that it it made a difference,

Speaker 2  08:55

right? So thank you, one, for sharing that and for helping us. I think sometimes when we look at somebody else who says, you know, you say to somebody they've been through this, and if they've made it, then I can make it. If they clung to hope, then I can cling to hope, and that's why those stories-so many of the Bible stories that you talk about-just your own story. So thank you for for sharing. Earlier when we were just getting ready for the podcast, you mentioned that there were a couple things that really brought you hope and that really ministered to you during that time. You mentioned exercise, which when you were talking about being outside, so talk a little bit about those things that when somebody feels maybe that they can't find hope, what are some things that helped you, and how does somebody help find what might bring them hope?

Speaker 1  09:45

Well, I think that they there was two things: God and hope. I mean, God and exercise were the only two things that got me through that time, and I literally was going to the gym and I would be on the elliptical for an hour every day. I would. At the gym for two, three hours a day because somehow I think that that that blood flow just gave me some hope, and it gave me it would distract me from what was going on. And I think exercise just was was huge, and being outside nature is I mean, look what God created. He created such a beautiful, beautiful world for us. And I would sit when I was on the Gulf Coast, and it was kind of the worst part of the years. I would sit on our balcony, and I would, you know, read the Bible. I would pray, and then I would go to the gym for two hours, and just that the the fresh air, the sunshine, seeing we had lots and lots of seagulls on the Gulf Coast, grass and trees, and it just I could see God in nature. I always have seen God in nature, and and I think those two pieces do create hope for me and for everybody.

Speaker 2  11:03

Absolutely, I I often do trainings and talk about resilience and finding hope, and I think sometimes we don't pause enough to think about what is it that brings us hope and do more of that. Like you said, whether it's nature or certain being with certain people or time alone, or time with other people, wherever we find our spirit slightly lifted, right? That time with God, a certain verse, your 41 necklace, then we need to do more of that because hope is in short supply, and there are so many studies that talk about if we can just maintain some level of hope, then we can get through that. We can get through those 40 days.

Speaker 1  11:45

Yeah, and when I showed up in Tucson with nothing, and after the divorce, I had nothing. I laid, I just laid on the floor, and I would cry and cry and just cry, and I was so, I felt so alone. But I knew I really wasn't alone. It it didn't feel like it, but I knew in my head. My head wasn't always connected to my heart, but I knew God's with me, and it it'll be okay later because He'll take care of me.

Speaker 2  12:16

Gosh, and you mentioned I want to just touch on you mentioned about finding a church, right? Whether it's Pantano or any church, but you you looked for a church. The church didn't come to you. You went looking. What what took you to a church and you looked for a Bible study? Why were you pursuing those things? Like what in it that you thought I'm? Here's what I'm hoping that I will get out of those things.

Speaker 1  12:40

So I became a Christian when I was an undergraduate, and church had always been a piece of my life since that time. And I had been part of a Bible study and part of an Alpha group when I was in Houston. I had even been leading an Alpha group and things like that, and so I knew God was part of me. The Holy Spirit's in me. I needed that, and I guess I looked for a church and a Bible study because I knew that was a piece that had been missing in our life. So I went from graduate school in Seattle to working in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, then to Houston, working, and then having my consulting company, and then to Corpus Christi for a few years, and then Arizona. And in Corpus Christi, I got involved in a Bible study there, and that was that was really helpful, but he, I was so afraid of him finding out that I because it was he would ridicule me for praying. He would ridicule certain things. My my journals were just on scratch paper, and I would throw them away because I was so afraid of him finding that I was praying and I was writing those things down. So I needed to not hide God anymore. And having worked in the corporate world for so long, you don't get to share pieces of of your life that are religious. He went to church with me, but it was sort of like a check the box thing, and it looked good on the outside. Go to church. Oh, people I go to people I work with go to church to check the box, and so so it was it was a weird, a really weird thing. But I wanted you can't ever pay back what Jesus did for us, but I want to use the rest of my life for the design that He made me to serve.

Speaker 2  14:50

I love that. In fact, that might be a great segue to talk about. You are working on a new book. You've done some other writing. It sounds like mostly in the Ph.D. using that piece of your background and all your training, and you're writing a new book, Project Me: Becoming a Creative Christian Leader. So when you talk about God wants to use all of you, you were just mentioning that, and now writing this book. Where tell us a bit about that segue from this journey that you had, I guess the whole thing is a journey, but this process of beginning to write this book and what do you hope to accomplish with that book?

Speaker 1  15:30

So I've actually written five books on innovation and project management, self-published. And one of my dear friends and my life coach both said, as I was going through this trauma, you like to write, write, and so I started writing, and it was just a disaster. But then I also started doing a presentation with a project management community called Unstick Your Career, and I was paralleling the things that you do in project management with your career, and so then, Project Me kind of came out of that, and so it has tools, creativity tools that parallel what happens in a project to take a product idea, which I'm very familiar with, all the way through to commercialization, and then I have tools that parallel that. From I'm stuck. Where do I go next in life? And for me, that was I went through the exercises, and God was telling me, write, keep writing, keep being an author, just keep writing. So there's a lot of tools that are used in project management, paralleling tools that you can use in your own life. I'm hoping that this book will go into the hands of people that feel stuck and want to get unstuck. And it starts. There's six sections. It starts with your core values. It talks about all the things that we've done in life. So I think 25 years. That might. I don't know. Actually, I think I'm getting closer to 30 years since grad school. So that's that's the. But all those things that I've done, I've learned. I've had different strengths and skills. I've learned what I don't like, and that's really important in product management. What don't you like? And all of the talents that we have are not necessarily things that we're we we shouldn't fight our weaknesses. I guess we need to concentrate on our strengths. And then there's a section on building your team, which we need teams whether we're in the work world or we're we're in life. And there's sections on how to implement that, and then after you launch a product in the in the world, you follow it with metrics, and so there's things to keep on maintaining your health, your relationships, your your life with God, and so there's some some tools on that.

Speaker 2  17:59

Oh gosh, I love it! And when I'm like, and how do I order this book? I think I can see some parallels in my own life. Or when is it going to be at a point? What's your target date?

Speaker 1  18:09

My target date is July. I'm thinking that's a little aggressive when I'm looking at how many, how much formatting I have to do, and I'm pulling some figures from books that I've already written, and so there's some consistency issues. So

Speaker 2  18:24

soon, it sounds like soon.

Speaker 1  18:26

Yeah, yeah, it's very soon. It'll be soon-ish. Yeah,

Speaker 2  18:31

I always believe that God never wastes an experience, right? That God uses all of us, and I loved how you said that even our weaknesses, that God, that's where his strength is made strong. It sounds like there's a lot,

Speaker 1  18:44

a little bit. I mean, I've focused more on tools and how to get through when you feel like I just don't see anything out there. I don't even know what through all of that. Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 2  18:58

Lived experience to write it. Maybe you don't write about it, but had God not brought you through all that to the 41st day, I don't think the authority and the the passion and the knowledge that I'm assuming you will be writing with would be there.

Speaker 1  19:13

Yeah, yeah, and a lot of the examples I have used are my personal examples. But

Speaker 2  19:20

gosh, well, I love that. Tell us, you talk about this new life that you're in the last couple of years, right? That you are now feeling like you're living a new life. Do you want to share a little bit more about that, or talk about that? What are some highlights for you, or maybe what you would share with listeners that that find themselves on the the precipice of an old life and a new life, any advice or thoughts that come to mind? I

Speaker 1  19:54

think I guess the first thing is just I'm free. I have never. Felt the freedom that I feel now, and I know that's because of Jesus. And it just is. I used to feel before I did a presentation, before I would have done a conversation like this. I would have been. I would have had to go through some rituals and to get my stomach unwound and to get my, I'd have a headache, and I'd be just so wrapped up in how do I look? What is you know, what is my image? And now, before I do presentations, before I sit down and write, I say, God, how can you use me to make something different? And so that freedom to just be who I think he wants me to be has been the biggest change. Because as a kid, I spent all my time trying to be who my mother wanted me to be, and I'm never going to be a fashion model. So I'm not going to be who she wanted me to be. I don't even care much about clothes, and my husband wanted me to be a certain way and to conform to his rules. And that's not who I am. I'm somebody else, and I'm who right now I'm free to try to pursue who God wants me to be. I might miss the mark. I might make mistakes, but He's forgiving. My mom and my husband-not necessarily forgiving-but God is forgiving and says, "Okay, He'll pick me up, pull me out of that mucky pit, pull me out of the quicksand, and say, 'Okay, keep going. This is the direction I want you to go in.

Speaker 2  21:39

I love that the Bible says it is for freedom that Christ set us free, and I think about how many women, how many people in general, though, that I've talked to who really struggle, even even my own past, where we struggle with the image that somebody else has of us or what we think we we should be doing instead of that freedom of just being loved and known by God and living out the purpose that He placed on our heart and in our lives, and in fact, you talk a lot about that finding your God-given purpose. I guess maybe a question I might ask is: all of your PhD work, all of your consulting work and coaching work, certainly is part of your purpose, is it this freedom that's making the difference in what your purpose is now, or or how do those two marry?

Speaker 1  22:28

I think so. I think it is the freedom. I think a lot of what when I wrote books before, those books were marketing tools. They were a transfer of my knowledge. I wanted other people to learn, but they were marketing tools for my consulting business. Everything was geared toward I got to make money so that my husband will be happy with me. Make money, even though my heart was really in teaching. That's why I got the doctorate degree is because I wanted to teach. I wanted to facilitate. I wanted to help people, and now I'm at a position, I guess financially and spiritually and mentally and now emotionally, finally, that I can be free to do whatever it is that I'm supposed to do, and that I think this book, Project Me, is probably my last technical book. I think it's a transition. I I feel like I'm going to start writing fiction after this. So I feel like it's sort of a transition, and it's also a transition because it's paralleling project management and product management with purpose. I feel like that's a transition for me, and I think I can't possibly be the only person that needs that transition.

Speaker 2  23:49

As we get ready to wrap up, I would love for you to share. You wrote something, whether you called a poem or a letter or whatever, but you were-I was blessed that you shared it with me, and I think that it would really resonate with our audience. And I'm wondering if you would mind reading that for

Speaker 1  24:09

us. Sure, I'm-I'm happy to. Jesus pursued me, lonely, excluded, rejected. I sat away from the others. I read all the books alone in the basement. Not alone, he was with me. Jesus pursued me. I prayed before I knew him. He pursued me. Teenage drama and loneliness, Bell's palsy, and I learned beauty is not physical. I learned about the man who had no shoes, and Jesus pursued me. Lonely, betrayed, rejected. You are a mistake, mother said. You are not pretty. You are not enough, mother said. Alone in college, not alone. He was with me. Illness. Hospital rejection. Come to know the one. A shadow spoke. I saw the light. I was free, not alone. Jesus pursued me. I said yes. A good job. A husband. Suffering. Lies. Abuse. Control. Heartbreak. Lonely again. Rejected. again. Jesus pursued me. He sat with me. He cried for me. You are more than enough. You are mine. Jesus pursued me. He is with me. I am new. I am free, not alone. He is with me. Jesus pursued me.

Speaker 2  25:44

Gosh, I love that you said that God just kind of placed all that on your heart, and that you had not written something like that in the past. But it speaks so much. How does it make you feel when you think about Jesus pursuing you.

Speaker 1  26:04

I don't have any words for that. It's His love is so great. I, I mean, even though I'm a writer, I cannot think of a word or words to cover it. It's just, it's amazing. It's amazing he was there for me before I knew him. It's amazing he walked with me during the hardest, toughest times of my life, and that he's setting me in a direction that's for him. I I can't think of a word or words.

Speaker 2  26:40

I think the words that he pursued you are so meaningful because how else you you think about that in every positive sense of that he didn't leave you in in the in the muck right or in the quickstand he didn't he didn't even leave you with those times when you were doing your best right when you were maybe before your marriage went as far down as it was going, he he was there during all of it. He pursued you because you were his. I think of that that we are the twinkle of his eye, and that's hard for us to accept. Was it? Would you say that you have struggled at all with him, with the thought that he would pursue you, or has that not for for many women that that can be difficult? How has that been for you, or was that not something that you struggled with?

Speaker 1  27:32

I think it was resolving. I said this to somebody the other day. I think it's that I have tended to put human characteristics on God, and if I disappointed my mother because I wasn't good enough in so many ways, I disappointed my husband. I wasn't good enough in so many ways. How is it that I don't disappoint God? But I don't for some reason. He still loves me, and and cares for me, and and has picked me up and dusted me off, and said, "Go this way. You're you're okay.

Speaker 2  28:11

I love that picture, and and that really is what our heavenly Father does, and He pursues pursues us so much that He sent His Son to die on the cross, and He is always there, and He never leaves us. And I hope that as women listen to this, or or anyone who's listening to this podcast, that if they haven't yet come to that realization of being able to embrace that, or or even a stepping point, acknowledge that, and find hope in that, that by listening today, they're a step closer, because I think that sometimes we don't live out all of whom we're created to be because of of that. We we don't think that God could possibly love us enough to pursue us and to walk beside us and to desire to be with us. Yeah, yeah. Well, thank you so much for taking some time out of your day for sharing a bit of your story. When you do get ready to release your book, definitely let us know so that we can let our listeners know. I am thankful that you have been so faithful to to what God has called you to do and who He's called you to be, and I think there's a certain faithfulness even in stepping out at a new church and a new Bible study and in a new city that takes a lot of a lot of grit to be able to say I know that there are people out there and and sometimes we do that and we don't meet those people the first time, right? That isn't maybe the right church or the right Bible study, but I think just like God pursues us, we can keep pursuing those connections that can help bring us to wholeness. So, any any last thing that you would like to leave our listeners with?

Speaker 1  30:00

There is hope, no matter how deep in that mucky pit you feel or stuck in the quicksand. He always does give us hope.

Speaker 2  30:14

Well, thank you, and on that we'll go ahead and sign up. So, thank you again, Tess, for being here. Thank you for those who join us for this episode of Living the Reclaimed Life, and we hope to see you on the next episode.

Speaker 4  30:27

Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation, and maybe even feel a little less alone in your story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at Reclaimed Story. Want to learn more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our growing community of reclaimers? Check out our website at www.reclaimstory.com. And if you enjoy these inspirational podcasts, be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you next time.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai