God Does Not Make Mistakes ~ KeriAnn Kountz Ep.150

KeriAnn's story begins in the farmlands of Iowa, but shortly after high school, with just a suitcase and a carry-on, she bought a one-way ticket to Arizona. What followed was a journey marked by heartbreak and redemption, walking through church betrayal and rejection, facing an unplanned pregnancy, and experiencing homelessness just weeks before giving birth.

But that’s not where her story ends. You’ll hear how God restored her life in breathtaking ways, including recently marrying her best friend! KeriAnn’s testimony is one of hope, resilience, and immovable faith. 

Our prayer is that as you listen, you’ll hear God’s whisper to your own heart, that no matter your circumstances, He is able to rescue and restore your story, too. 

If you find yourself or someone you love in an unplanned pregnancy in Arizona, please reach out to Hands of Hope Tucson at https://www.handsofhopetucson.com/ 520.622.5774 / Info@HohTucson.com

Not in Tucson, you can call 866-800-8137 or search your area here. 

Update! 

We took a short break from the podcast in July because we’ve been preparing something incredible for you—the brand-new Reclaimed Story App! It’s completely free and available now in the Apple and Android App Stores. 

Inside, you’ll find healing resources, powerful testimonies, every podcast episode, genuine community, and so much more, all right at your fingertips. Our team is in there every day connecting, praying, and encouraging. Be sure to download the Reclaimed Story app. 

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Transcript

Transcript is Auto-Generated

Denisha: [00:00:00] Welcome to Living the Reclaimed Life. I'm Denisha, and this podcast is a ministry of reclaimed story. We took a short break from the podcast in July because we've been preparing something incredible for you. The brand new reclaimed story app. Now, we thought we were five years out from getting this live to the public, but God, right, it is completely free and it's available now in the Apple and Android app stores.

Inside you'll find healing resources, powerful testimonies, every podcast episode, and most importantly, genuine community. This is a troll free zone where you can connect with other women and so much more. All right, at your fingertips. Our team is in there every day, connecting, praying, and encouraging. And next week we're sharing short, exclusive teachings in the app on anxiety and [00:01:00] fear and how to handle those moments when they threaten to take over your day.

So be sure to download the reclaimed story app today. You're going to meet my friend KeriAnn. Her story begins in the farmlands of Iowa, but shortly after high school with just a suitcase and a carry-on, she bought a one-way ticket to Arizona. What followed was a journey marked by heartbreak and redemption, walking through church betrayal and rejection.

Facing an unplanned pregnancy and experiencing homelessness just weeks before giving birth, but that's not where her story ends. You'll hear how God restored her life in breathtaking ways, including recently marrying her best friend. KeriAnn's testimony is one of hope, resilience, and immovable faith.

And my prayer is that as you listen, you'll hear God's whisper to your own [00:02:00] heart that no matter your circumstances, he is able to rescue and restore your story too. Let's dive in to KeriAnn story. KeriAnn, I am so happy to have you on the podcast today. Thank you so much. This is going to be really fun.

I love in, as you described yourself, you said, my name is KeriAnn Ingram, and this is a story of how God rescued, restored, and redeemed my life. And I wanna thank you for coming on and sharing with us just what God has done in your life, because it's really amazing. So, without further ado, tell us a little bit about your story.

Just wherever you wanna dive in. 

KeriAnn: Right. So I am originally from Iowa. I was raised in the farm country, so it's a little different than Arizona. I was born in a small town to my mom and my dad, and they got [00:03:00] divorced when I was three, so that was really hard. And I have a sister who's 14. We're 14 months apart.

I guess childhood in a nutshell was dysfunctional. Crazy at times. We relocated many, many times. Both my mom and my dad have been married and divorced three times, so I never saw a functional relationship. I never saw, you know, like a good, stable husband and wife that love each other and have these wonderful kids and, you know, it was, it was hard to say the least.

And I ended up moving to Arizona shortly after I graduated high school. It was in January of 2010, I moved to Arizona and actually I just packed everything I had in a suitcase and a carry-on and bought myself a one-way ticket. Wow. Yeah, and so I, it was kind of like, I'm just going on faith. I didn't know what [00:04:00] lied, you know, like what was gonna lie before me.

I just was. Like, let's just do this. I need a change. I was going nowhere. I graduated high school. I didn't wanna work at the bank. I didn't wanna work at Walmart. It was like, okay, there's got to be more than just cornfields. Okay. Why Arizona? Why the desert? Well, so my brother and my sister-in-law lived here, so they lived in Tucson and so that was a good push for me.

They told me I could come stay with them. Kind of get myself on my feet, get a job, all the things. And so I was like, alright. And growing up, I had kind of gone between Iowa and Arizona my whole life. So I was born in Iowa, but then in second grade, yeah, I moved to Arizona and then I moved back to Iowa and then back to Arizona.

So we just kind of flip flopped and we never stayed in one place. Which was hard, especially as a kid, you know, like you don't have any stability. It's like I make friends outta school and then it's like, boom, gotta go. [00:05:00] So I just decided Arizona and it just so happened to work out, like I have done very, very well for myself in Arizona, more so than going back to Iowa.

So that's what brought me here. And um, I got here on a Saturday and I had a job that next Tuesday. Yep. 

Denisha: Okay. 

KeriAnn: That 

Denisha: was good timing. 

KeriAnn: Yeah. Yeah. So I had a job and I, um, went to beauty school. Um, and then, so I was living with my mom at the time. My mom ended up following me from Iowa shortly after I had come to Arizona.

She didn't wanna be without her kids, and so she came and I was living with her, and I had met this guy. I was raised as a Christian. Okay. And I was raised in the church and I was, you know, we went to church on Sundays. Unfortunately, it was like the, we played holier than thou, and then nobody really knew what happened [00:06:00] behind closed doors, so that was really hard.

But I always had faith. There was always this foundation. God was always a part of my life, whether I was very close to him or not, he was always there. Like my mom always instilled that in us. Even if we weren't walking the walk, the talk was happening within the home. And so when I came to Arizona and was working and stuff, I was like 20 at the time.

I met this guy at my mom's apartment complex and we kind of hit it off. We got to talking, and then one thing happened. One thing led to the next, and I became pregnant. I had only known him for two weeks. So that was kind of like. Holy cow. You know, like, what am I thinking? And at the time of meeting him, I was living my best life.

I was at the pool every weekend catching a tan. Like I had [00:07:00] no worries in the world, didn't have to worry about bills like I was living with my mom. Everything was great. I was serving faithfully at a church. I was a youth leader and singing on the worship team, and life was great. And then when I found out I was pregnant, I was like, I vividly remember sitting in church and I felt, okay, something's off.

I feel different, something's going on. And so I asked my friend at the time if she would go to the store with me and get a pregnancy test and if we could go to my apartment and take it. I took five pregnancy tests because the first one came out positive. I didn't believe it. We just kept taking them and actually I didn't even look at the test to be completely honest.

I told her, you can look. I don't wanna see. I just felt different. I knew that something was going on, but I didn't wanna face the reality of it. And she had gone into my bathroom. She looked at the test and I [00:08:00] heard her whisper, thank you, Jesus. And I was like. What does that mean? Does that mean I'm pregnant or does that mean I'm not pregnant?

You know, like I didn't understand why she said that. And she came out of the bathroom and she said. You're pregnant and I hit my knees and bawled. I just cried my eyes out and I said, Jesus, I can't do this. Like I can barely take care of myself. How am I gonna take care of another child? Like I can't do this.

In that moment, she told me, my friend at the time, she told me, you need to tell the pastors. So before I told my mom, before I told my dad, before I told anybody. I had to tell the pastors. 

Denisha: Did she ever mention why that was her first advice? You weren't. She 

KeriAnn: never did. I don't know why she said that. I don't know if that was like the rule in the church or, or whatnot, but.

I listened and I was like, okay. So I told [00:09:00] the pastors, well at the church I was at, the girls could only talk to the female pastor and the guys could only talk to the male pastor. So we had a meeting with the female pastor and. I will never forget this. But after that meeting with her, I walked out and felt this big, she basically said she was so ashamed of me and how could I be a leader in the church and be living this way?

And she, she beat me down and I left that meeting thinking. Okay. I have made the biggest mistake of my life, and I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I guess I was numb. I don't even know what my emotions were, but I ended up going to church that following Wednesday and. The pastor, the male pastor, the main lead pastor of the church, had come up to me and said that I [00:10:00] should place my child for adoption because his father's not a believer.

So what kind of a dad is he gonna be to my child? So here I am, 21, terrified pregnant. The church that's supposed to love me and support me and care about me and pour into me and encourage me and just say, you know what? God has a plan completely burned on me and pointed out every flaw in me as if they are blameless and spotless.

And I left that church and I just, I don't even know how I. Coped with that. Honestly, when I look back, it's like I don't even know how I got through that. By the grace of God, that's all I can say because I, I really don't know. But then from the pulpit, he told everybody in that church that had made a connection with me that they could no [00:11:00] longer say to me, 

Denisha: KeriAnn, I just cannot, with everything you just described, yeah.

That is not okay. It was awful. I know you've come. Yeah, I know you've come full circle, but to hear, just to hear this, just I feel it in my gut like I'm so sorry that you went through that. That is not how it should be. The church should be a place of healing, of refuge of compassion and care. Right. It's supposed to be the hospital is what you know we're supposed to be.

That is, is. I'm so sorry you experienced that. 

KeriAnn: Yeah, they sent me a Facebook message and said, you've damaged the body by your immorality. You're no longer able to be in fellowship with anyone here. And they shut their doors in my face. So, needless to say, for the first three years of my son's life, I never stepped foot in a church again.

How did 

Denisha: that affect your faith being treated that way by the body of Christ? [00:12:00] How did that affect your faith? 

KeriAnn: You know, in the moment, I feel like, yes, I had a relationship with Jesus, but we weren't super close like I am now. So I feel like I got angry and I became rebellious, so I kind of pushed God to the side, even though I know he never left me.

But I would go out drinking every weekend. I just rebelled. Satan had such a stronghold on my life and I'm sure he was just living it up, you know, because I shut out members of my family. Like, I mean, it was, it was a really rough time. It was a lonely time. I was pretty lonely because here I went from this group of people that I would go to life group with on Tuesday nights, and you know, all these times that I would have these friends surrounding me and.

I look back on pictures and I'm like, man, I just love them so much, you know? And then [00:13:00] to nothing, and then just feeling like you're an outsider, like you, like I had a target on my forehead or something, you know, like it was awful. It was really awful. And so I just spiraled for a lack of better terms. 

Denisha: Now I know today your faith is so strong and you're such an incredible woman.

How did you have the courage to not allow the actions of people to affect your view of God? Because eventually, 'cause you all are like this right now. That's right. How did you get there in light of the pain that you experienced? 

KeriAnn: Well, tomorrow I'm gonna be 35 years old. Happy birthday. Woo. Thank you. Thank you.

And there have been a lot of life experience from that 20-year-old KeriAnn finding out she's pregnant to a mom of a [00:14:00] 13-year-old now. And I think, you know, shortly after. My rebellious stage and kind of going through all of that. My mom ended up reaching out to me and she said, let's go to church. And I was like, nah, I'm fine.

I sleep in on Sundays now. I don't wanna go to church. So this is kind of a crazy part of my story as well, because you would think, okay, we're gonna go back to church and it's just gonna be all rainbows and wonderful and Jesus is gonna redeem me and you know all of that. Well, here's what happened. I went to church.

They welcomed me with open arms. They told me how much they cared about me. It doesn't matter if you have a child outside of marriage, like we love you. Come as you are. And I was like, wow, this is what I needed. Like I felt so loved and welcomed. So I served faithfully at that church for six years in the Bible where I can't remember exactly what verse it is, but you know, I'm here.

Send me. That was my, that was my character. That was my demeanor at [00:15:00] that time. It's like, okay, God, I'm here. I'll do whatever you want me to do. So I served in kids' ministry. I was an usher, a greeter. I sang on the worship team, you name it, I was doing it. 

Denisha: Wow. 

KeriAnn: And is this a different church than the church that you were at before?

This was a different church. Yeah, this was a different church. And like I said, they made me feel so welcomed and, and so I did that for six years. Every Wednesday, every Sunday without fail, I was at church. That's just how that was. And I felt like God allowed that to happen. Like, and I really pushed in and I got super serious with Jesus.

Like she sustained me. He was everything I needed in those time, you know, in that time of my life until that church decided to hurt me as well. So I, like I said, I was serving, I told that church that, you know, I need to step down from something. I'm a single mom, you know, I, I don't know. How I can do all of these things at once.

And they told me that if I chose to [00:16:00] step down in one area, I couldn't serve anywhere in the church. So they just took it all away from me. And during the season of my life, I prayed and I was like, okay, God, if you're calling me into a new season and you want me to find another church, just allow that to happen.

And so I would pray and I would pray, and eventually I was like, okay, I hear God loud and clear. I gotta go. And if I wouldn't have left that church, I'd still be stuck in that same circle, that same routine of pleasing everybody else before. Pleasing Jesus. 

Denisha: Yeah. And not being in a place that was celebrating the gifts that he's given you and the ways that you could serve as a single mama at the time, and being able to give back and be a part of the body.

The body is such an intricate, everybody serves. Everybody you know Is is the church? 

KeriAnn: And 

Denisha: to to be excluded from that because of needing to just pare down and set some [00:17:00] boundaries that had to feel like, I guess, was your purpose challenged during that was your. How did, it was painful. Yeah. 

KeriAnn: Yeah. It was painful.

It was, I kept thinking, why does this keep happening to me? Like, what am I doing wrong? So it was painful. It, I didn't understand. I lost all my friendships there too. Nobody ever talks to me now from that church either, and I don't understand. It's like, you know, like. In the Bible, they would, you know, the women that were unclean, they couldn't go and be around anybody.

And that's what I felt like. Like is there something on my back that says you don't belong or you can't be here? You know, like I didn't get it. And so I wouldn't say I got mad at God, but I was frustrated. I was like, I don't understand why this keeps happening. And so after leaving that church now I felt homeless.

It's like, okay. Where do I go now? Like I know there's over [00:18:00] 600 churches in Tucson, but like, where is this gonna take me? You know? And so it took a while for me to find a church, but eventually I did and, and there was a lot of healing that needed to take place. You know, obviously I needed to understand that people are people and we are sinful.

And even though you may have the title pastor, like. You are not God, you know? And I can hear the Holy Spirit for myself and I have that relationship and I don't have to listen to everything you say because I please him only not you. You know? And I had to kind of get that backbone, that strength within me.

'cause I think for a long time of my life I was very much a people pleaser. I would live to just make other people happy and it didn't matter how I felt. 

Denisha: Hmm. Yeah, there's a lot of women who live in that place of not even knowing that they have needs or being [00:19:00] aware of their own needs, desires, goals, because they're working so hard to get that, to please other people and say yes.

Mm-hmm. You are such a warrior now, right? I know there's still some time, right between that moment and now, but you are such a warrior now. Did that help to strengthen you as you. Because you had to really, it sounds like you really had to hold onto your own grit, your own faith of, okay, Lord, it's you and I and what are we gonna do?

Yeah. How, how did that build you to who you are now? 

KeriAnn: Well, I feel like many times I would try to take matters into my own hands and it would fail every time and so, right. I'm pretty sure anybody else can relate. Oh, yes, girl. When we try to drive, we crash every time and I kind of ex. I'm a very visual person, so I kind of explain it as if I'm saying, you know, it's okay, God.

Like I know you died on the cross and your blood was poured out for all [00:20:00] of my sins, and you're just amazing, but I've got this part of my life, like I'm gonna take care of this. And for me that was relationships because I so desperately wanted to be loved and I wanted to be a wife and you know, a mom and have the picket, you know, white picket fence and the American dream.

Which is so cliche to say, but you know what I mean. Yeah. So I would just be like, yeah, it's okay. I got this. Honestly, I didn't realize that, but if I look back, that's such a slap in the face to Jesus because it's like he did everything for me. He laid down his life for me, and all he wants is relationship with me and for me to lay my life down before him and trust him with every single area like.

I'm not the driver. And in fact, guess what? Now? I don't wanna be the driver. Jesus, take the wheel. You know? Amen. [00:21:00] Amen. So when I was in that season where it's like, I'm gonna take care of this, it failed every time I finally got to the point where it's like, you know what, God, you are all I need. You are my sustenance.

You are what's going to keep me going every single day. It's not, man, it's not my job. It's not the church, it's not any of that. It's you and I just fully and completely surrendered. That was it. I just was like, I can't, I can't do this anymore. I don't know why I did another pregnancy test, but I did. I was driving down Speedway.

Tucson Boulevard and I saw a sign that said, free pregnancy test. And I'm like, okay, well I've taken five and I know they're positive, but maybe just, maybe this one will be negative. Who knows? I don't know why I was thinking that, but I walked into this free pregnancy center called Crisis Pregnancy Center at the time.

In this little cottage looking house with creaky wooded [00:22:00] floors, and there was a fireplace and a couch, and I'll never forget it. And I said, I'm here for a pregnancy test. Well, they got me in right away and I went into the bathroom with this sweet, older woman and took a pregnancy test and sure enough it was positive.

And then next thing you know, I'm crying again. You know, like, I don't know why I was expecting anything different. I guess now I could say I was in total denial that it was even happening. I just was not trying to face a reality, and so she brought me into a room and I remember her placing a box of tissues in my lap because I was just a mess.

I was bawling, and I'll never forget these words, but they're the most influential words that she could have ever said to me. She looked at me and she said, I want you to know that God does not make mistakes. That's exactly what I needed to hear in that moment. So all these people that have shut me out told me I've [00:23:00] made the biggest mistake.

I've now come face to face with what seems like an angel. Who says God does not make mistakes, like he trusted you to have that baby. And that's exactly what I needed to hear. And then she goes and she gets out a model of a baby, the same however far along I would be at that time. And she places that baby in the palm of my hands and she said, that is that heart is beating and that is inside you.

In that moment, I was like, okay. I'm just gonna be a mom. I don't know what else to do, you know? And if we're thinking about it, like during that time of my life, I didn't know anything about abortion. I had never heard about abortion. I didn't know what it was, you know, it wasn't spoken about. So that was never on my mind.

But I walked in there so incredibly scared, like, yeah. What do I do? You know, I can barely take [00:24:00] care of myself. I'm at the pool every weekend. Like now I'm like, that means I'm a mom. Like what? And so I went back for an ultrasound. And the sweetest nurse, Mary Lou did my ultrasound and there he was just a nine week little bean on the screen with a flickering heartbeat.

And I was just like, like, this is the first of the rest of my life. You know? Like, this is it. This is, I'm just gonna be a mom and I don't know how I'm gonna do it, but I'm just gonna take it one day at a time. So I ended up going back home and I told my mom and I told my dad, and I was terrified that, for one, I thought my dad.

Was just gonna be so upset with me. And I thought, my mom, I felt like I would get more support from my mom. So I didn't really know what her reaction was gonna be, but I called them and I told my mom first and she just kept [00:25:00] saying, shut up. And I was like, no, I'm really pregnant. And she's like, shut. And I was like, mom, if you tell me to shut up one more time, like I'm being truth like this.

You're not being punked. This is really happening. And she said, it's okay. We're gonna get through this together. Mm-hmm. Like, I've got you. I was so grateful for that support because at this point it felt like everyone's turned their backs on me. You know? So God forbid my mom say, sorry, you made your bed.

Now you have to sleep in it. 

Denisha: Isn't that so important? How our loved ones respond in moments when we're afraid and we're uncertain and yet we're ready to face this? That's, 

KeriAnn: and if you think about it, it's just the power of love. Yeah, loving somebody, you know, like, it's okay. It's okay. Like you can do this.

So then I called my dad and I thought, oh gosh, I really don't wanna have this conversation. But I told him, [00:26:00] and his response was, well, I guess God just needed another angel in this world. I lost it. I was bawling. Dad, I'm so glad you feel that way. And I had all the love and support and so I wasn't super excited to be pregnant.

I also carried around a lot of guilt and shame. Just because I'm a Christian, I know right from wrong, I shouldn't be doing this, you know? So to me it felt like a mistake, but to remind myself. God doesn't make mistakes. So I kind of got through that and then as I got further along in the pregnancy, well, I was very sick for the first five months of my pregnancy.

Super, super nauseous. Couldn't keep anything down. It was rough. I was also in beauty school at the time, so I was cutting hair and doing nails and yeah. What Those were great smells while you were pregnant. Oh, and nauseous. Yeah. Try to give somebody a perm and be pregnant at the same [00:27:00] time. Like that doesn't sound bad.

No. So when I was 25 weeks pregnant, I dropped outta beauty school actually, and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna move back to Iowa. I was homesick. I just wanted to be with my family. I have all my cousins, aunts, uncles, my dad is there and I come from a small town, so I'm like, okay, I wanna raise my son in a small town.

And I thought, okay, this is just gonna be wonderful. Boy, was I wrong? I went through so much drama and trauma through my entire pregnancy. There was never a moment where I could just, you know, relax and enjoy and sit back and this is great. There was just, I never had those moments. I just felt like I was fighting for survival every day.

That's what I felt like and trying to put my son first and understand that everything I feel he feels, so, I'm trying to be mindful of that, but I was really going through it [00:28:00] and um, I went into preterm labor at um, 30. Five weeks. Wow. 34 weeks. I went into preterm labor probably because of all of the stress.

Right? Yeah. And, um, at the time, uh, I was living with a lady from the church that I had grown up in. She ti took me in, but she said, on one condition, I've been battling bedbugs for two and a half years. And I said, well, I have nowhere else to go. So thank you for giving me a place to stay. 

Denisha: Hmm. 

KeriAnn: And I moved in and it was a nightmare.

A nightmare. The house was perfectly normal during the day, and then at night, all these critters came out. It gives me the Ki GB to talk. Talk about it. Bet. I bet it does. It was rough, but I was like, you know what? She made me ever anything I craved. That wonderful [00:29:00] woman was in the kitchen making it for me.

Like she is the reason I got through that pregnancy. She was my saving grace. I didn't even care at that time that this is, were the conditions I was living in. She was phenomenal. Mm. She didn't drive either. So I'm like, okay, so what happens when I start having contractions and stuff and like, how am I gonna get to the hospital?

And when I was with her, that's when I was going through preterm labor and we had a plan. Her cousin lived across the street, so she picked me up. I never had prenatal care after 25 weeks, so I was not under the care of a doctor, which I do not recommend. Yeah. And um, I ended up getting admitted to the hospital and they said, your four centimeters dilated, 90% he face, this baby's coming.

And I'm like, what? Like, he's not due until January 16th and this was 34 weeks. So, you [00:30:00] know, I still had a while to a ways to go and I'll never forget it. I was on the phone with my sister-in-law whose name is also Carrie Ann, by the way. She walked me through everything. Like they were having to prep me and get me ready to go into an ambulance to take me to the children's hospital because that's where the NICU was and like a bigger inner city hospital.

You know, like that's where I needed to be, should I have had my son. Well, fast forward a little bit. I get there, I get all settled in. They have me on medication stopping my contractions and I end up there for 10 days. Wow. So now I'm hospitalized, and the lady that I was staying with told me that if I had the baby, I could not come back to the house 'cause she didn't want the baby to be in those conditions, which I totally understood.

And I also didn't want that for the baby. And so I'm homeless. I got nowhere to go. [00:31:00] My dad won't let me stay with him. My sister has already shown up to the hospital and caused a scene and got kicked out by the nurses. Like it was crazy. And so I had a case manager come in and she was like, okay, so I'm aware that you don't have anywhere to go, so we're gonna set you up to go to a homeless shelter for women and their children.

It's called the Lighthouse and it's in Boone, which is where you're from. And I was like. Okay. I mean, honestly, like what am I gonna do? I have no other option. And so I was terrified. Terrified. Like, I've never been to a homeless shelter. I don't even know what to expect, and now I'm gonna have this newborn, right?

And go into an atmosphere I have no idea about. Like, that scared 

Denisha: me. It's scary enough going home with that newborn. Right without the instruction manual and like you have to have to figure it out. So, or even the, that stress. Yes. Yeah. 

KeriAnn: [00:32:00] Yeah. Even the support. And so I, you know, I just took it for what it was.

I was like, okay, I guess this is what's gonna happen. And so I was in my hospital room and I had remembered that when I was traveling. When I was traveling to leave Arizona to go back to Iowa to live, my flight was delayed by like nine hours due to mechanical issues. So Southwest Airlines gave us a travel voucher.

Well, while I'm sitting in the hospital, I remembered that I had that travel voucher, and I was like, I have got to get back to Arizona some way. Somehow I'm gonna fly back home. So I called my sister-in-law and I said. I have a $200 travel voucher. Can you buy the rest of my plane ticket and get me home? I don't wanna go to this homeless shelter.

Like I don't, they say I have to lock up my belongings in a locker and like, I'm not ready for that. So two to weeks before I gave birth to my child, I [00:33:00] flew on a plane to Peoria, Arizona to live with my brother, sister-in-law. Wow. Now, a doctor probably would've said, don't do that. Don't do that. Well, I looked at that doctor and I said, listen, sir, I have no other options.

I'm doing this. Please write me a note saying I can fly. And by this time my contractions had stopped and labor seemed to have been postponed. So everything was good. I mean, I was getting shots in my hips to develop his lungs. Steroid shots and you know, things like that. So they were doing everything they could to make sure that he stayed in.

And it got to the point, like towards the end of my 10 days that the doctor okayed it ultimately, and he gave me a note, and so they bought the rest of my ticket. Now through my entire pregnancy, I have nothing. No baby clothes, no bassinet. Like I've got nothing. No baby shower. [00:34:00] This isn't like a fun, get to do a gender reveal, you know, like I didn't get the excitement of that.

And so, um, when I got to Arizona. I walked into my brother and my sister-in-law's house and they had a room prepared for me with a crib set up and a basket of all kinds of baby things that I would need. And I just lost it. Like it one, it felt so good to be home. Yeah. But it just felt like, you see me, you see me, and you know what I need and you're here for me.

Like I've got your support. And then two weeks later I had Jackson. 

Denisha: Wow. And 

KeriAnn: you're 21. I was 21. Wow. 

Denisha: Wow. That's a lot of life lived as an adult. Yeah. Just in the short few years. 

KeriAnn: Once I had him and they placed him on my chest, my mind was blank to be completely honest. Like, oh, what do I do? Like I actually [00:35:00] looked at my mom and I went, now what?

Oh, that's what I said. Now what? Why? And she goes, now you're a mom. And then they took Jackson and they started cleaning him off and he was crying. And I just remember going, hi, my sweet boy. And he went silent. He heard my voice and I just was like. God knows everything we need before we know we even needed, and I didn't even know I needed him.

But Jackson is the sole purpose of why I've gotten through life. You know, like he's my everything, my pride and joy, my sidekick, you know, I'm like my, he's my cheerleader. He takes care of me when I'm sick. I mean, he's just amazing. Like. I needed him so desperately, and in those moments I was so terrified to have him like, I don't know how I'm gonna do this.

You know? And so after having him, you know, it still was not easy. It was so hard [00:36:00] trying to have a job and work and, oh, I just be a single mom. Well, two days before I gave birth, I should mention this, his dad left. To another state. I think the biggest takeaway from this though is that through all of that, you know, going through just the tough relationship with his dad and, and things like that, I relied so heavily on Jesus so, so heavily, like God guide my words, like, you know, and I'm not perfect.

And there were definitely times that I wanted to pop off, you know, and like say things that probably shouldn't, but I would just, okay. Like. Please just help me in this 'cause I don't, I don't know how to navigate this. And I also don't want my son to resent me when he gets old enough to understand what's going on.

I want him to know that I've done everything I possibly can to allow them to have this relationship. And if it doesn't happen, then I can sit back and say, I did all that I could. Right. You know? [00:37:00] And I honestly believe that I did all that I could. So, you know, having that faith, having that relationship with Jesus was crucial.

And even Jackson at five years old, I'm teaching him how to pray, listen to mom, and then I want you to repeat after me. You know? And man, you should hear his prayers now as a teenager. It's kids are amazing. Beautiful. It's beautiful. And God is just so faithful. So faithful through it all. 

Denisha: Yeah. So raising him as a single mama.

Scoring your faith into him as well. Surrendering. I hear just surrender over and over in your story of having to just trust that God's got it, that Jesus has it, that he's with you in it. What started to change for you? When did things start to, to shift out of that being a single mama and trying to make ends meet?

When did things start shifting for you? 

KeriAnn: Well, so I was working at Banner [00:38:00] at the time, and the church that I had spoken about prior that told me I couldn't serve if I wanted to step down. I was still at that church when this happened, but someone from the church said, Hey, I saw this job posting and I really think that you should apply for it.

And I was like, okay, what is it? It's a front desk position at a place called Hands a Pope. And I was like, okay. And mind you, I hated my job. It paid good, but I was miserable at the time, like, I do not wanna work at this job. So I went to their orientation for like their open house for this position. I watched this video that they showed.

I am the only one bawling. I'm the only one crying. I'm like, what's wrong with me? Why am I crying? And it was just this beautiful like, so if anybody that's listening doesn't know what Hands of Hope is, it's a pregnancy confirmation center. And the [00:39:00] video that I was watching was just speaking right to my heart and I was like, I have got to work here.

So I went up to the lady afterwards and I said, I really want this position. Like how do I apply? What do I do? And she said, well, you're a single mom, right? And I said, yes. And she goes, well, we're a nonprofit and so you're not gonna make as much as you're making right now. I just want you to know that. And so I was kind of discouraged, like, oh man.

Well, I just really feel like God's calling me to this. So I had the interview. I went to the interview, I told them everything. I poured my heart out, and then afterwards, I just. I kept wrestling with the natural and the spiritual. So in the natural, I don't really think I'm gonna be able to make ends meet, but I really feel like God's calling me to this position.

Well, so they called me and they offered me the position and I said, respectfully, I'm gonna decline. I said, I just don't think that [00:40:00] I'm gonna be able to make ends meet, but I will be praying for the perfect person for this position for you. And I said, we understand, you know, thank you so much. And a month goes by, I can't shake it.

I feel like if you tied a rope around my heart and pulled as hard as you could, that's how I was being called to hands of hope and I didn't know why. Why? What is this? What's happening? You know, I'm bawling in the orientation. Jesus won't leave me alone about this, like what is going on? And so I stayed in contact with the person that had done my interview and I called and I said, I know this is crazy, but by any chance, have you found anybody for that position?

And they said, we've known it's you all along. We've just been waiting for you to say yes. Oh my word. Praise God. And so I was like, yes, yes, yes. And she goes, you don't need to pray about it. I said, I promise you, I have prayed all. I can pray about this. Like [00:41:00] my answer is yes. And so I started working at the front desk.

They called me the gatekeeper. So I was up at the front desk. I was answering phones and emails and things like that. And at the time. It was like three weeks in. I was super frustrated with myself. I'm kind of a perfectionist and I was like, why am I not getting it? Like, I really wanna know the job already, like it was a lot of information, a lot of steps, a lot of things, you know.

But anyway, I had to put in my information into the system to put in my name and my birthday and my address and all of that, just so that I would have my old file. So I type in my name and lo and behold. A file pops up with my name and I was like, wait, why am I already in the system? I've been waiting for this moment.

I'm like, yeah, wait, did you find this out? Yeah. So I was like, uh, this is weird. And I looked it up and it had the date of the time that I walked in for a pregnancy [00:42:00] test. So Hands of Hope was Crisis Pregnancy Center, eight years prior. Little house, their name, the fireplace and, and the corner and, and the creaky wooden floors.

I was just like, wait, but it gets even better because now I'm putting two and two together, like, oh my gosh, this is the same place I found out I was pregnant with my son. Hmm. Holy cow. Like what are the chances? And then the CEO at the time was Elisa Medina. So in 2014, my grandmother had open heart surgery and was in Banner ICU, where I met Elisa and Fernando, I met them.

Because Elisa's dad was in the hospital and they were on the same floor, and I met Elisa and I was talking with her. I was actually praying in the hallway with Fernando when my grandmother started crashing and they said, you need to say your goodbyes. They paid my rent for a month [00:43:00] while I was there because they knew I was a single mom of a 2-year-old at the time, like, and then when I walked into Hansa Pope for my first day on the job.

There's Elisa Medina and I'm like, you. No. She was the CEO of hands of hope. Like God is so good. You can't tell me. His hand was not over. That like you can't make orchestrated all of it. Well, no, and I love to tell that story because it is just the face of God. It's like he had a plan from the moment I conceived.

Yeah. Like there was a journey to go on, but God knew exactly where it was gonna lead me. And so now I can say I have been working at Hampton Hope for five years now, and I am a client care specialist where I get to now be on the opposite side of the couch and I get to pour into these women and say, you know what?

If I [00:44:00] can do it, you absolutely can do it. I don't know how many times I have said God does not make mistake. You know, like it comes out of my pores. I am so compassionate and passionate about this ministry that I will do this till the day I die. Did no question. Like I, God has me here for a reason, and not only am I working at hands of Pope, I'm going to school right now for my undergraduate certificate in Christian ministry.

So that I can be available in a different capacity to these women who so desperately just need a friend. They just need someone to talk to. They need to know that they're not alone. They need to know that their outside circumstances don't need to dictate the decision that they make about the life that lives inside them.

They need to know that God is so faithful and he will provide, and it's not gonna be easy, but you're not alone. You know? Like they need to know everything. I didn't. [00:45:00] I get to be the one to do that. Crazy 

Denisha: right? It is so amazing to watch God go full circle. And I remember when I had asked you, how do you wanna introduce yourself?

And you said, my name is KeriAnn, and this is the story of how God rescued, restored, and redeemed my life. And. The word reclaimed, right? Means rescued and restored. It's rescuing from a place that you don't wanna be, that God didn't intend for you to be into a place right restored to that previous natural place.

That calling that place where he has you now, and you look at just how God did full circle and Jehovah's Sneaky was up to something because look, he put you back in that same place. That is just unbelievable, uh, is unbelievable. I remember taking a family member, um, with an unplanned pregnancy to that creaky little house, uh, with the little room in the back, you know, with the ultrasound, and she had a very similar experience to you.

Now, [00:46:00] fast forward, there's so many other programs available and so much help that Hands of Hope Oh, offers. It is just amazing that God took you full circle. And so, let's see, your son is 13, so that he would've been like eight. So how long, so eight years. Eight years? Mm-hmm. From time to time that you walked in to when you started working?

Yes. That 

KeriAnn: is amazing. And the crazy part too is that the nurse that did my ultrasound at Crisis Pregnancy Center is still a nurse at Hands of Hope, and we are like the best of friends, and she has gotten to see Jackson grow up. And just the fact that she was there in such a dark time, you know, like I was so scared and she was there to show me the life that lived inside me.

And now. That length is here, walking around like almost six butch tall eating everything in your house probably. Absolutely, yes, absolutely. I have a 14-year-old, so yes. Yeah, exactly. It's just [00:47:00] it. It is full circle. It is amazing. It sometimes just leaves me speechless and I am so humbled that God chooses to use me, that he chooses to use this story to impact the lives of others.

And I have gone on to be in delivery rooms. I got to be in the delivery room with one of my clients and actually help her in delivering her baby girl. I mean, I got a text on New Year's Eve from another client from two years ago with a picture of her son who's now two, and all she said was, you helped save him.

Like it. It is amazing the things that God allows to happen when we completely surrender and trust him. Amen. That's what it takes. Surrendering and trusting, and even when I worked at hands of, you know, through the five years at Hands of Hope, it wasn't always easy. I would throw a really horrible marriage.

Uh, you [00:48:00] know, that was abusive. I, I walked through some things, you know, but we offer a class that's called Mending the Soul, and I took that, it's 14 very intense weeks, but I was so healed afterwards and then now going to school and just, we're never gonna stop growing. We're never gonna stop learning.

It's just a revolving door, you know? And God wants to shape us and mold us, and you know, we just have to let him. He's the potter. And I'm the clay. 

Denisha: Amen. If you could go back and speak to yourself, knowing what you know now, the faith journey that you've walked, the incredible young man that you're raising.

If you could go back and speak to yourself during those darkest parts of your journey, what would you tell yourself? 

KeriAnn: Hang in there. Hang in there. It's gonna be okay. Jesus has your back. He goes before you, beside you, behind you. He sends his mighty army of angels to surround you. You are so protected. [00:49:00] You are a child of God.

You're a daughter of the most high King. Your royalty, like you are so worthy. Your life is valuable. Like don't give up, keep pushing. Keep pushing through God's. Got you. That's what I would say. 

Denisha: Mm-hmm. I love that. Those are not words that you've put together. That sound good? Those are words that you have walked out because you absolutely know it to be true.

There's so much weight in that. Is there a scripture or anything, a truth that you've held onto besides this is not a mistake for sure, that has kind of anchored you in your journey? 

KeriAnn: Oh, is there. It's really crazy because I've always said, okay, Jeremiah 29 11 is my life verse. And I didn't really understand, but I liked the verse, you know, for, I know the plans I have for you.

Plans to prosper for you, to give you hope and a future and to [00:50:00] not harm you. And for me, that was just like, okay, that's so encouraging. Well, in the time where I walked through that really bad marriage, I moved to Alabama. I was in a new place. I didn't really know anybody. It was kind of scary. I felt kind of alone, but then God brought me out of that back to Arizona and actually right back into my role at Hands of Hope, which is really crazy.

But if you go on to read in Jeremiah, so Jeremiah 29 11 says that. Then it also says, if you seek me with all of your heart, you will find me. Then it also says it's talking about the Israelites that were sended to exile. Okay. Well that was me. I was sent into exile. I didn't know anybody, but it also says that he will restore, he will bring you back to the nation where he once sent you and restore all of your fortunes.

Which is crazy because when I left Alabama, my ex-husband gave me an hour to pack everything I could in my car and leave. [00:51:00] That's it. So I came back to Tucson, Arizona with all I owned in my 2019 Ford Escape and my dog, and that's my life. Verse it. He will. He will take care of you. He will provide a way of escape.

He will restore all of your fortunes that were taken from you. He will over and above what you can even imagine, like he's just so good. And so I will tell my clients, Jeremiah 29 11, but keep reading. But keep reading because it's so good. I would say that would be the verse that I find has been most encouraging and life-giving to me, and so I try to pour that into the clients too, because people need to know that there is hope.

Yeah. That God does have a plan, that he plan, he has a future for them. He will never harm you. You know, he, he will prosper you. Like you just have to trust in him. Give everything to him and he's got you. [00:52:00] 

Denisha: Love how he's using your story of redemption to bring hope to other women. Like you're not just sitting across from them going, I hope things work out for, you're like, listen, things are gonna work out.

Yeah. And you get exactly that. That nurse like that, that was the first person that said, you can do this. This is not a mistake. You can do this. And now you get to sit across from women and go, I really do know what it feels like to sit on this side of this couch. Absolutely it feels like, and God has redeemed and restored so much of that.

KeriAnn, I rejoice with you. It is so amazing to hear your story and so much hope, right? If you're, find yourself in an unplanned pregnancy, you know, my mom found herself in an unplanned pregnancy, so I've kind of got a crazy story about that. She would've benefited from hearing your story. Yeah. So I can imagine there's women who are gonna hear your story that are sitting in those shoes that you were sitting in back, you know, 13 years ago.

And there's [00:53:00] other women who are just gonna go this, I'm in this weird place with God and or I've been hurt by the church, by well-intentioned people. Right. But I, right. I like to say sheep bite, we bite. Mm-hmm. And so. People who have been hurt by the church are gonna hear your story and go, there's a bright side to this.

You can find a church that you can plug into and thrive in and God doesn't change. Mm-hmm. When people act out. So when sheep bite, right. Our God is still the same and unchanging and he's the same God who is redeemed. In so many beautiful ways. So there is like so many facets to your story that I love and I wish we even had another episode to course some of it because there's so many different facets where it's like, how is God moving in that, you know, how did he move in that?

How did you get out of that? It is just so amazing to watch what God has done in your life and now that you get to be that beacon of hope for others. Yeah, was such [00:54:00] an amazing, of 

KeriAnn: course. So you know, in there, when I started working at Hands of Hope, my mom had come out and told me that she also had an unplanned pregnancy and she actually chose abortion and she didn't know about hands of hope.

There was nothing like that at that time. And so I feel like that's also something that I'm super passionate about. If there is a woman that's listening right now that has had an abortion and suffers with that decision, or you know, has to live with that and. All the things that come along with making that decision, there is still hope for you.

You know, like we offer a deeper still, which is a retreat where you can go and get the healing from that past abortion experience. Um, we have classes you can do like one-on-one, surrendering the secret, mending the Soul. There's so many ways that God desires to give those women the, the healing that they deserve.

We're not meant to carry around the that stuff. He died on the cross so that we can [00:55:00] freely give that to him. He doesn't want us to carry the weight of those, those things, those traumas that we've walked through. He wants us to walk in freedom and in light and enjoy and happiness and you know, all of the things.

And so I just want to make sure that that is known, that if you are struggling or if you just need someone to talk to. Call Hands of hope. 

Denisha: You guys are amazing there. I know a lot of your staff and such amazing loving. Just amazing people. It is a completely non-judgmental, just completely loving environment.

And so thank you for all that you do. So if someone were listening, how could they find hands of Hope ki? 

KeriAnn: Well, they can Google Hands of Hope Tucson, and they could find us that way. They could go to hands of hope tucson.com, which is our website. We also have a face. Book page. We also have an Instagram. So if you just look up Hands of Hope Tucson, it [00:56:00] has to have Tucson in there 'cause there's another organization called Hands of Hope that's not us.

So Hands of Hope Tucson. You could find us that way and just call, you know, just call the office. I'll probably be the one to answer the phone 'cause I'm at the front desk. So you'll be like, oh, hey, I heard your podcast. 

Denisha: There you go. There you go. This is an open invitation, ladies. Yes. Yes, absolutely. And if you know someone who ha found themselves in an unexpected pregnancy, I know I talk to a lot of women that say, I didn't know where to send them, or I didn't know what to say to them in those moments.

Call hands of hope, you know it. You can even go with them to an appointment and just they're not alone. That was such a moment, I feel like for you when you had that nurse and then your mom and your dad saying, we're gonna get through this with you. Yeah, absolutely. Sometimes it's not always family or friends.

Sometimes it's that new friend that you're about to meet at somewhere, like hands of hope, so 

KeriAnn: yeah, absolutely. 

Denisha: Anne, thank you for your just courage to share your [00:57:00] story and the amazing testimony that you have for our living God, you're, and all that he's doing and has done in your life is amazing, and so we just, we praise him with you.

Thank you so much. Amen, Anne. Yeah, you're welcome. 

KeriAnn: God is good and you know, I don't know. It's just I'm a walking, living testimony and if there's anybody ever anytime that wants to talk or just needs an ear, God gave me two ears and one mouth for a reason. Yeah. 

Denisha: Amen. Well, thank you KeriAnn, thank you so much for sharing your heart and your story.

KeriAnn: You're very welcome.