Living the Reclaimed Life
Living the Reclaimed Life
From Trafficked to Freedom ~ Selena Drunert
We know it is happening out there, but we may be surprised to hear that trafficking affects the girl next door. Sex trafficking is happening in every state, including right here in Arizona.
Sarah Buchanan, founder of Hope Rising AZ and a 16-year law enforcement veteran who served on the human trafficking unit, says there's a critical gap in services for survivors. Arizona currently ranks 13th in the nation for sex trafficking—“… yet Hope Rising Arizona is now the only restorative care sanctuary for sex trafficking survivors south of Phoenix”.
As my friend and Executive Director of Hope Rising, AZ, Andy Thomas shares, 80% of women who don't receive care will return to their abusers. The need for safe, restorative spaces couldn’t be more urgent.
In this episode, you’re going to hear the story of a survivor, her name is Selena—She seemed like the girl next door, yet nobody knew that abuse and exploitation at the age of 8--- would set her on a trajectory to entrapment in the commercial sex industry, with no way out.
This episode isn’t for children or the faint of heart, but it is essential listening. Selena’s story will open your eyes to what’s happening in our own backyard—and you will see how God has reclaimed Selena’s story; she has been rescued and restored. You will also hear about ways to protect your family and how you can be part of the solution.
Stay connected with the work of Hope Rising AZ
info@hoperisingaz.com
PROSPECTIVE RESIDENT HOTLINE: (520) 895-1511 8am - 5pm, MT
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1. Shame Off You: 10 steps to shattering shame in your life, HERE.
2. ABC's: CLICK HERE for a FREE E-book to help you combat lies and replace them with God's truth. For more encouragement, check out some of our offerings at www.reclaimedstory.com
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Transcript is Auto-Generated
Denisha: [00:00:00] We hear about it on the news. We see stories on our social media beads. Maybe you've even noticed those signs in bathroom stalls that read. If you're being controlled and don't have the freedom to leave, you may be a victim of trafficking. We know it's happening out there, but we may be surprised to hear that trafficking effects.
The girl next door. Sex trafficking is happening in every state, including right here in Arizona. Sarah Buchanan is the founder of Hope Rising Arizona, and she's a 16 year law enforcement veteran who served on the human trafficking unit. She says there is a critical gap in services for survivors. Arizona currently ranks 13 in the nation for sex trafficking, yet Hope Rising Arizona is now the only restorative care sanctuary for sex trafficking survivors south of Phoenix.
Wow. [00:01:00] And as my friend and executive director of Hope Rising Arizona, Andy Thomas shares that 80% of women who don't receive care will return to their abusers. The need for safe restorative spaces couldn't be more urgent. In this episode, you're going to hear the story of a survivor. Her name is Selena. She seemed like the girl next door.
Yet nobody knew that abuse and exploitation at the age of eight would set her on a trajectory to entrapment in the commercial sex industry with no way out. This episode isn't for children, and it isn't for the faint of heart, but it is essential listening. Selena's story will open your eyes to what's happening in our own backyard, and you will see how God has reclaimed Selena's story.
She has been rescued and restored. You'll also hear about ways to protect your family and [00:02:00] how you can be part of the solution. Welcome to Living the Reclaim Life podcast. I'm Danisha. We're glad you're here for conversations that revive hope, inspire healing, and encourage you to live a vibrant life with Christ.
So grab a cup of coffee as we chat with today's guest. I am so excited to Welcome to the podcast Selena d Grunert. She's the newest residential program director at Hope Rising Arizona. And can we give a shout out to Hope Rising Arizona? Yes, we love you guys. Yes, we love you guys and what you're doing.
Selena is a psychology major and future neurobiology, major previous CNA and caregiver, and you'd never believe the life that this woman used to live and ultimately escaped untimely death in order to share with the rest of the world that recovery is possible to hear. Your story is not for [00:03:00] children and definitely not.
For the faint of heart, but it so needs to be heard. Thank you for your courage, and I can't wait for everyone to hear just how God has just full circled your life in such amazing ways.
Selena: So thank
Denisha: you.
Selena: I can't wait to share it and hopefully impact at least one person, because if I can be a servant of God and just touch one heart, then I feel like my life's work is complete.
Denisha: Mm-hmm. Amen. Where do you wanna get started on your story?
Selena: I grew up in Arizona. I grew up in a suburb of Phoenix. I was born and raised there. I had both of my parents, uh, have more of a tumultuous relationship around the age of seven and eight, and they got a divorce around the same time. I experienced my first, I guess, exploitation by an immediate family member.
I didn't necessarily understand at the time what had happened to me. It was really swept under the rug by both parents. [00:04:00] And from there on. I think there was this sense of mistrust in terms of which parent to kind of trust. I moved in with my father and changed cities, but was still local here in Arizona.
I played the orchestra from age eight all the way throughout college. I was an Allstate Orchestra. I was first chair violist. I had the national dean's list. I made my first year of college. I was definitely a straight A student, very charming. Had my few friends. I wouldn't say I was popular by any means.
I was an or dork as we referred to ourselves, and a lot of people like to cheat off of me, so I felt in order to gain friends, the only way that I could achieve that type of goal and notoriety, I suppose, was to allow them to take advantage of me and. I guess it kind of catapulted [00:05:00] itself as I got older and got more into drugs and involved the wrong type of people.
Denisha: It sounds like you were the girl next door. You had great grades, you're in the orchestra, and you wouldn't expect your story to take the turn that it does. When did that start to happen for you?
Selena: About 21. In my generation, we did not have very many role models. The role models that were being portrayed on TV were the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton.
Britney Spears doing drugs, getting into car crashes. These were the types of females that were role models for me and for my generation, and so we wanted to emulate that type of lifestyle even if we didn't have the money or means to do so. I noticed around then I stopped wanting to work. Traditionally, I started losing interest in school.
I started [00:06:00] kind of having waves of going in and outta school. One semester I would get straight A's the next semester I'd fall off the wagon. I'd flunk out. It was this way for a couple of years until I started to look online for agencies and I felt that the best way for me to adapt to this type of mindset was to get into the porn industry.
It just seemed like the right thing, and it's so
Denisha: accessible to young women.
Selena: Yes. I had to reach out to a couple of people on MySpace. A couple of performers ask them who their agents were. They pointed me out to the right agencies, and then I was flown out across the country and I went on a whirlwind of a ride.
Denisha: Was that a shock for you just to experience that coming from the life that you had in school and, and growing up?
Selena: Yes, it was a fantasy world. It was not reality whatsoever. [00:07:00] These girls got to live by their own rules. 90% of them were on drugs. I would say 85 to 90% had some sort of mental health diagnoses.
Many of them, I think they say eight outta 10 girls were sexually exploited by family members or others at an early age that enter the pornography industry. So these were a lot of broken girls, and I felt at home with them. And so it was, although the communal living was a shock, the set and the whole process of performing for porn was a shock.
But I felt like I had an army of misfits with me and I felt like they were my, my new family, and I just didn't know any better.
Denisha: Sounds like there was a sense of belonging with everybody in the community.
Selena: Yes, we, we all had each other's backs to a certain degree. Granted, there would be some fights, little cattiness here and there as expected with six to 10 women living under a [00:08:00] roof.
But at the same time, when it came down to it, we'd all protect each other and we all had each other's backs when it came to certain things.
Denisha: And that progressed, didn't it? And it didn't stay with you living in that community? Well, it was that agent
Selena: actually. That had pulled me aside before I was to fly back home and told me, you know, I don't think you're gonna make it as a porn performer, but I do think you would make an excellent prostitute.
And why don't I give you the names of some people and some agencies that you can work with alongside ours, so that way you can be the star that you're meant to
Denisha: be. So he's gained your trust. He's groomed you, you've experienced a sense of belonging in this community. I think that's a lot of the ways that they pull the girl next door in.
Would you say that, would that be true for what you experienced?
Selena: Yes, [00:09:00] absolutely. I lost my innocence really young, and so I think like other girls, we develop maladaptive behaviors and defense mechanisms in lieu of that. So I think one of mine was to placate to people and to men and specifically, and I knew very well how to do so.
Denisha: What a culture that's created it sounds like as well. Toxic, yeah. Yeah. So he comes to you and he tells you that you're not gonna make it. I find that interesting 'cause that almost feels like he's knocking you down a level, but really he probably has more to gain from you to move into this next phase.
What did that look like for you?
Selena: Oh, I. Went with several different agents or suitcase, pimps, as we referred to them as, and I started escorting. Started escorting almost exclusively, except for when I would fly back and forth from LA to other spots in the country that [00:10:00] have major production companies. It became my other full-time job.
I remember the first time that I went on what's called a tour, which is when they fly you out for two weeks and you sleep with as many men as they can book. I came home with ice packs all over my lower half, but I'll never forget that feeling.
Denisha: I'm so sorry you had to experience all of that, Selena, the expectations that the industry sets for women, as you said so unrealistic and not God's plan for how intimacy should be experienced.
That's so much for you to go through in that season. I'm so sorry. You ended up going overseas.
Selena: Yeah, so the work was starting to dry up my. Addictions were starting to become prevalent, and [00:11:00] I got a hold of an individual that had a modeling agency and said I wanted to go work overseas. I knew what it was going to entail.
I did not know the severity of what it was going to entail and that I would eventually be trafficked overseas. Stuck to work 24 7. Threatened with violence on a daily basis. Stopped on my computer with a computer chip and a parental controls. The Geek Squad leader pounded on my computer. I didn't know.
Denisha: So they really took control over everything in your life, from your time to your body, to your technology. Could you have gotten out at that point if you'd wanted to?
Selena: Not at that point, no. It took me about a year before I finally escaped and I took two others with me because [00:12:00] I saw a need. Yeah. And I felt that God was speaking to me and saying, in the middle of the night, pack up and go, go to the capital, seek asylum.
Take these two with you. Don't leave them behind.
Denisha: So I did. And I wanna bring back too, that you mentioned that it was modeling that you pursued to go to modeling. Yes. And that seems like such an innocent thing that so many women could go, I wanna go into modeling, like you mentioned, we see these celebrities, these beautiful women, and we think, oh, I wanna start a modeling.
Maybe I'm not an actress. Mm-hmm. But I could get into modeling and to see that. They took advantage of you from wanting to go into modeling, to then all of a sudden you find yourself trafficked and overseas. That had to be very scary. What was the moment like for you when you realized that they were in control of everything for you?
I
Selena: think the [00:13:00] first time I realized it was when I started to get calls from two to 4:00 AM and I started to get threats. If I didn't take the client that was on their way. That something bad was gonna happen to me. And once I realized that this is what I had gotten myself into, I was too afraid to say no.
So I stayed inebriated the entire time.
Denisha: Wow. And then you decided to seek asylum, take these two other women with you? Yes. What was that like? Were you able to get to the capitol? What was that like for you?
Selena: Everyone was afraid. Wow. We did end up getting to the capitol. We were afraid because of the way that we had entered the country that we may get arrested, that there may be some bias or judgment.
We didn't know enough about asylum, so I happened to know one person and they gave me an address and it was [00:14:00] for a brothel, and they said, you can get your money back, your plane ticket back home by working here.
Denisha: And that's what we did. So another step into the abuse, another step into your story in that to end up at a brothel when you're trying to get freedom.
Yes. How long did you have to work there before you were able to get out?
Selena: I think eight months. And I had been warned on a anonymous Skype message that someone would be waiting for me in the States when I got home and I just fluffed it off and. When you get to know me, I can be very witty and I can be very snarky.
And so I probably said something to the likes of, okay, bring it.
Denisha: And they Did you come back to the States now, are these two women with you, were they able to break free as well? One of
Selena: them, I don't know if she stayed back in the other [00:15:00] country or if she flew back to the States. We ended up parting ways with her.
We just felt that. The relationship between us three girls wasn't really working out. The other girl was from another English speaking country, so she ended up going back home a lot earlier than I did. You're starting over essentially.
Denisha: And how old were you at that time? 27. So 27 coming back into the states, you don't have a home to go back to, you don't have an apartment furniture, things like that.
Like what does that look like for you?
Selena: I luckily had a very good friend that I met at that time in the industry. My very first trip to Los Angeles, they took me under their wing and said, don't stay with anyone else. You can have your own room here. You don't have to sleep with me. Like we, we wanna take care of you while you're here and while you're working.
So I, I was able to [00:16:00] get that room back. Then I decided to go off with a random agency again and make some more money because I wasn't making any money back in la.
Denisha: Yeah.
Selena: Sounds And that's when it happened. Yeah. Tell us a little bit about that. So, I was in a hotel room. I had a gut feeling something bad was gonna happen.
I usually left my door partially cracked, and I had certain steps. In place to protect myself if the police were to come so that I hadn't touched money, I didn't open the door. Every girl has their own little protocol as to how they do things. And so someone started trying to open the door and I had the chain on and I said, hold on, I'll be right there.
When I opened the chain and I was greeted with a gun to my face. And these were
Denisha: the people that told you not to leave? Yeah. Wow. We hear about women [00:17:00] getting trafficked and we see the signs in the airport. You know that say if you're being trafficked, if you can't leave at your will that you know, call this number for freedom.
It's not that easy to get out. They just tracked you from another country as you came back and are getting your life situated back in the States. They came in after you here. We don't see all that you've been through and how they pulled you in. We just don't see that. I just appreciate your courage in sharing the girl next door, how quickly things can escalate and how manipulative and how the money is allure and the community belonging, all of those things that pull us, you know, pull women in.
Yeah,
Selena: absolutely. I mean. The money was sensationalized and short-lived. They say that dirty money made is dirty money spent, and that's absolutely true, a hundred percent. I think [00:18:00] that I was in such a vulnerable state at that time. I was so addicted to drugs. I was so depressed. I didn't have anything to my name.
I hadn't met any of those milestones that a human is supposed to meet. At that time, I desperately wanted to go back to school, seek Jesus. Really find redemption within myself, but I had the Stockholm syndrome with these people that had hurt me, and I just kept going back
Denisha: until I finally
Selena: stopped.
Denisha: What did it look like when you made that decision to completely walk away?
That had to be very scary after what you'd experienced. What was that like?
Selena: It was wishy-washy. I think like any recovery is. There would be times when I would get emails or I'd get phone calls from people I knew and trusted, or people I didn't know, but had two good to be true opportunities. I would write [00:19:00] back and forth and correspond with them and try to figure out if they were a safe individual, and it kind of came to a point where I knew that no matter who it was, I was never gonna feel safe again doing that type of work.
And I remember. My very last scene was in January, 2015. Amazing. What was next for you? Rehab was my next step, so I entered a 28 day program about a month or two later. I did my very best with the limited resources that they had for me to maintain sobriety. I ended up in a multitude of halfway houses, psych wards, and 28 day programs within a three year period, I think 10 total.
And I finally came to Tucson and went through a faith-based program for 12 months. And that was April 6th, 2016.
Denisha: Mm. And you mentioned Jesus before. In your [00:20:00] story, had you grown up with faith or what did your faith story look like? I.
Selena: My father was Catholic. He really wanted to raise me on Catholicism as his family.
It was a very large Catholic community. My mother was Christian, but she didn't wanna force religion on me. She wanted me to come to it on my own terms and come to God on my own terms and not have it be preached to me in a way that it's ingrained early on as a child. She wanted me to find God myself. So I was very agnostic for a long time, especially with all the trauma that had incurred.
I didn't believe that there was a God whatsoever, but I knew that I had faith and when I was in my lowest low in the darkest corners with the most horrific things happening to me, I don't know if it was God or myself, but I think it was God that told me, you're gonna get it out, okay. You're gonna make it out of this [00:21:00] alive.
I'm gonna take care of you. You have to start doing the work too. And I just wasn't ready to do that yet. And once I realized that he rescued me from almost a couple instances of death, that I knew there was a higher purpose for me and that I really needed to fortify this relationship and walk in his light in order to be the person I wanted to be in order to rejuvenate all of that dark, broken spirit that I had inside of me.
In order to be the true person, be that shadow and be that light that I knew was deep inside of me. I was just being foreshadowed by all of these maladaptive, defensive mechanisms, all this trauma, complex trauma and PTSD. I just needed to be chipped away at rebuilt, kind of reconfigured a little bit of that light to start really shining.
Denisha: You've done so much healing work. I [00:22:00] know when you shared your story with me before the podcast episode, hearing your story over the last almost 10 years of healing and growing closer to the Lord and really walking in, who God created you to be in that faith-based program? What did you experience? I knew
Selena: communal living.
I had never been to a long-term restorative faith-based center before. I knew that I had started doing Bible studies at some of the other programs I was in, but I knew that in order for me to really be not cured because I don't think you're ever cured, but in order to be restored and to move forward, I had to have a faith-based program.
I had to develop that relationship with God, but I didn't want it to be forced on me. I was still stubborn. Uh, during these Bible studies, they would say certain things about people who don't believe in Jesus are this, [00:23:00] and people who don't believe in Jesus are that, and I would say, but I don't believe in Jesus just yet, and I'm not this, and I'm not that.
So it took a while for me to filter through the different types of lenses and perspectives of Christianity and Jesus as an individual in the Holy Trinity to kind of put together what my idea of Jesus and God as I understood him was. And then when I felt comfortable putting together that ideology and theology on my own.
Was I able to get saved and truly walk in that light?
Denisha: That's amazing. And God has really done just so much healing in your story, in your heart, and now he's gone full circle with you. He has.
Selena: So God has blessed me with a multitude of things. I was so lucky to meet my husband [00:24:00] and to have someone who was safe.
I think the funniest and saddest story is that when my husband took me to propose to me, it was on top of a mountain and he was so excited, and I got triggered because I thought he was gonna take me to the top of a mountain and kill me. Someone I loved and had been with for several years, going to the top of a mountain with a man by myself.
Still activated that part of my brain that wasn't healed yet. And I started shaking and crying and getting nervous, and he thought I was gonna say no, and I thought he was gonna bury me.
Denisha: Yeah. That's what trauma does to us, right, exactly. Trauma. We're always trying to stay one step ahead of our environment to predict what is gonna keep us safe and what could happen.
Especially [00:25:00] with all that you had been through in your own personal physical safety. That makes perfect sense that you thought that. Wow. How did he handle that?
Selena: It took him by surprise. I think he really had to work with me until the ring was on my finger, and now we're able to kind of joke about it a little bit more.
It's not as harrowing of a story, but I think when some people hear it, they feel sadness and it's not a sad thing anymore. And you
Denisha: have an amazing marriage. Yes. You even had your wedding was taken care of and blessed to you by the organization that you were getting help from. Is that correct? Yes.
Selena: Yes.
The organization that I was seeking services from for sex trafficking, my father had cancer and we didn't think he was gonna make it much longer. We had orchestrated like a very large, beautiful outdoor backyard [00:26:00] wedding with a lot of people. And the cancer got really bad really fast, and we knew he couldn't be around a lot of people with his immunity deficiency.
And so I called my friend and said, can you help me? And they orchestrated a wedding within two weeks.
Denisha: Wow.
Selena: So your
Denisha: dad was able to be at your wedding?
Selena: Yes.
Denisha: Oh, what a beautiful moment for him to witness.
Selena: Yes. He told my husband, she's all yours now. Aw, I
Denisha: bet that was an answer to his prayers over the years.
It was. Aw. So now you are happily married. God has just rescued and restored. I was telling you that the word reclaimed means to rescue and restore. And Selena, we see that so much in your story, how he's rescued and restored back to the previous state. Right. You mentioned that you didn't hit the milestones, but now.
You are married, you have [00:27:00] children, and you have a new career. Yes. Which is all part of that rescued and restored process that you've been through. Tell us a little bit about that.
Selena: So I am now the residential Director for Hope Rising Arizona. It is one of two long-term restorative care programs that is exclusively for sex trafficking survivors.
Denisha: Is what in Arizona? Just two In Arizona. There's only two in Arizona.
Selena: Wow.
Denisha: And yet, sex trafficking is very prevalent,
Selena: especially being near the border. Absolutely. And there's the triangle of Los Angeles and Las Vegas right there too.
Denisha: Good point. Good point. And so now you're in a place where you are serving survivors and you are now that conduit to faith and to restoration.
Yes. As you're doing this work. What does it feel like to you to know you can sit [00:28:00] across the table and you know what these women have been through. You can relate. You're not somebody coming in who hasn't had that experience. You're coming in and you've had the experiences and plus possibly even to be able to sit and identify with them and, and have compassion for what they've been through.
How is that for you? A lot of healing has taken place. I know. Are you to be able to do this? Yes.
Selena: Um, a lot of healing. Absolutely. I mean, we worry about vicarious trauma all the time in terms of our resident stories and coinciding with our stories and just all the multitudes of triggers that each unique person brings to the table based off of their unique situation and past and trauma.
I think being able to understand and identify, even when they're unable to identify some of those triggers or some of those ticks that they may have, that they're unaware of. Sometimes it might make them feel [00:29:00] uncomfortable, but at the same time they know that of their best interest in their, I've been there and I've done this, and I know that it sucks, but I know that in the end you'll be so grateful to have your life back because I know I was.
I think training employees too is really important. Like some of our volunteers who may not understand the population and may say things or do things that can be triggering without even knowing that it's a trigger. For example, a big trigger is children. For a lot of our residents, survivors in general, a lot of survivors have lost children.
A lot of survivors have had rape children. I am one of those survivors that was raped and impregnated, and I had to have an abortion. I understand all of these facets, and I know how to tread along them. Be safe with them. And I also [00:30:00] understand that a lot of these girls have mental health diagnoses and they're all different and unique and have different defense mechanisms, different reactions, different symptoms, and to be able to identify what they're going through, what's causing the symptom, what stressor are they thinking about.
What is it that's a part of their past that they don't wanna bring up that eventually needs to be gone through? Identifying all of these things within them, alongside, most importantly, their heart, their drive, their strength, and their beauty, inner and outer, to know that they're worthy in the eyes of God, they're worthy to be a part of society.
No matter what's happened to them or what they've had to do to others in forms of survival, they're still worthy by Jesus. Jesus loves them.
Denisha: Amen. Yeah. I can imagine the women [00:31:00] come guarded. I. Yes, they've had to protect so much. So it would take a very safe person who understands trauma and understands, like you said, the triggers and how our body responds in order to create that safe place for them to feel comfortable.
And I picture you standing on that mountain, you know, with your, then you know about to be fiance. As women come into you, do you find that they're guarded and not trusting at first as well? How do you get through that with them?
Selena: A lot of patience. Sometimes you, you have to say certain things directly in order to push a, a barrier or as I like to describe it, the defense mechanism is like a Berlin wall, and I'm just chipping at it just slowly, but I'm chipping at it at a comfortable rate.
Make you just a little bit uncomfortable. 'cause growing pains is part of recovery, [00:32:00] but at the same time, just slowly working through it. Because some of these individuals have had so much complex trauma at such young ages that they developed their defense mechanism at age eight, age 12, age 14. How do you help an 8-year-old?
Wow. How
Denisha: long is the program that you guys offer at Hope Rising?
Selena: We offer anywhere from 12 to 24 months. It's just based on how quickly they go through the phases, how driven they are. If they come to us already with a lot of curriculum and a lot of. Either sobriety time or time working specifically on their recovery.
We do everything case by case. We don't do it conjunctively because everyone has a different mentality, different comprehension levels. They come [00:33:00] to us with different lengths of sobriety and different lengths of recovery, and so we have to really tailor each treatment plan for each individual person in order for them to be successful.
Denisha: That's so beautiful, that chipping process to get, allow time for that to happen. So that true healing as you've experienced, can take place. You guys are doing amazing work there and what a gift for the Lord to bring you into hope rising Arizona. The fact that you have a psychology major and you're going into neurobiology.
I was, I was looking at that. I'm like. Yes. That's so awesome. There's gonna be so many things in that too that you're gonna be able to offer the ladies that you serve. Selena, I really appreciate you sharing your story in so many ways. One, I love to see the redemption that Jesus has done in your story, and I wish that you hadn't had to go through all of that, but I celebrate with you where [00:34:00] you are and the courage that God has placed in you to not only serve other women, but also to share your story.
And so thank you so much. That is so meaningful. And. The other thing I don't think we always realize is we see on the news, right? There's sex trafficking or you know, there was a home, you know, invaded and there was X amount of women in there. And we see those things, but we don't always think it's the girl next door who's looking for community, who's looking for belonging, who's looking to earn an income?
What would you say? There's parents listening. There might even be some young 20 somethings listening and thinking, oh, I couldn't fall prey to that. But I think it is so much more common. I've read articles since our conversation, even how OnlyFans, you know, I hear high schoolers talking about OnlyFans and you know, they're joking how they're gonna sell pictures of their feet or whatever, and.
I hear that that progresses [00:35:00] even into trafficking and it's so prevalent out there in such a huge industry. Um, we'll start maybe with the parents. What advice would you give parents who obviously want to protect their children, their young adults from this industry, dealing with
Selena: this every single day, thinking about how am I gonna protect my children from whatever the internet may have to offer 10 years from now as my children are young?
The advice that I can give is if you have a female teenager, don't necessarily monitor 24 7, but if you see something that's suspicious, if they're talking to someone that wants them to come model, go with them. Never let them go alone. Make sure that you do your research. Make sure that you know who you're talking to if you really are talking to an agent, or if you really are talking to a photographer.
I utilize IP [00:36:00] scramblers because that's just what I do. It's very easy to find out where you are. Just by sending a simple Facebook message or email, your IP address gets engraved and stamped into that. You can find out your location by one email. Wow. One, that's all it takes. If someone is sophisticated enough with computers and you're the target.
You let 'em in. Wow. There's also text messages too. If you get a text message with a link and it looks like something that they had maybe looked at before and they click on it and nothing happens, you just gave someone access to your phone and they can hack into your phone.
Denisha: If you were that young teenager or young adult, or even younger, right, as we heard, what would you say to them?
They're looking for belonging community, a way to make extra money. What would you say to them to protect themselves [00:37:00] from falling prey? I would say that
Selena: it doesn't last long. The average span of an individual in an adult industry is about a year. It is not a long time career. It is not meant to be a long time career.
It's not even meant to be supplemental income. Once that is all out on the internet, you can't take that back. That's something I have to deal with for the rest of my life and my children will eventually have to deal with for the rest of my life. Don't do that to your children. Be smart.
Denisha: Wow. Thank you for the wise wisdom.
Are there any resources that you're aware of to help educate parents and kids alike? I would say
Selena: fight the new drug. They have a great documentary, I think it's called Live Love. It's available for free on their website and it uses evidence-based practices, [00:38:00] scientific facts, polls about what consumption of pornography does, how pornography leads into trafficking, and how, um.
Porn performers, what the statistics really are with them and how they end up after that, which is unfortunately very harrowing and very many make. It
Denisha: sounds like one year of a career in that industry takes the rest of your life to heal from, in many ways,
Selena: they
Denisha: make it
Selena: that long. Most of my friends, I would say, all of my friends, except for one, have either overdosed or killed themselves.
Hmm. Every time I hear of a new performer that has died before the age of 35, or who was around my time, my heart breaks because they were a human. They potentially had a family. They had dreams at one point too. And their dream, I guarantee, was not to become a sex star. Yeah. And they just [00:39:00] didn't have the right resources or the right opportunities placed before them.
Before it was too late.
Denisha: Oh wow. My heart is just so full of thankfulness for where you are and what you're doing and the healing that you found, the incredible husband and family that you have, and this opportunity to serve other people. That's just what a blessing. Selena. And you did the hard work to get out of that, and you did not become a statistic.
Selena: No, and I ask myself every day why sometimes it doesn't feel fair. I wonder, why did I make it? Why did I survive? Why was I strong and why didn't my best friend make it? And why did she die? And why did this other person die? And it's something that, it's almost like survivor's guilt. Like why was I the one that was able to be here today to tell my story?
And [00:40:00] why not any of these other beautiful girls before me who passed away too soon. I still don't necessarily have that tangible answer as to why
Denisha: that's something you may never have. Stepping into your truth and living your life out loud to help provide healing for others. That is such a gift, and I'm so excited about what you guys are doing over at Hope Rising Arizona.
If somebody's listening and they're thinking, I would love to support Hope Rising and what they're doing, being two long-term, one of two long-term facilities in all of Arizona, that's crazy to me. You guys are. So needed. If someone was interested in supporting or if someone was listening to this and maybe they, a friend sent it over to them and it's their story.
Maybe your story is their story and they want to get out and they're finding hope in your story and going, wait. It's possible I can get out. How can we find you guys? So you can go to our
Selena: [00:41:00] website. It is hope rising arizona.com. You're also more than welcome to email myself personally at selena Hope rising arizona.com.
I'll be happy to communicate with anybody that needs any resources. Is looking to do donations, sponsorships, or is looking to be admitted.
Denisha: Amen. And I love that your website has a form right there, so if a woman clicks on it, they can write there. When they have that courage, they can fill out that form and instantly they're connected with you guys for help.
It goes straight to my inbox. Amen. Oh, I love what you guys are doing there, and thank you. Thank you for how you're serving women and the awareness that you're bringing when we don't always realize that it truly, you are the girl next door. And so thank you so much for sharing, Selena. We look forward to seeing all that God's gonna do through your story and through Hope Rising Arizona.[00:42:00]
Selena: Thank
Denisha: you so much for having me.
Selena: It's been such a blessing, and I just hope that. If I reach one person, then my job's complete.
Denisha: Amen. Amen.
Selena: Well,
Denisha: thank you Selena. Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation and maybe even feel a little less alone in your story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at Reclaimed story.
Wanna learn more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our growing community of Reclaimers? Check out our website@reclaimedstory.com. All of those links and more will be in the show notes. And if you enjoy this inspirational podcast, be sure to subscribe, rate and review. Not only will you be the first one to know when new content comes out, but it is also a huge help in helping us reach more people to live the reclaimed life.