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[00:00:00] Welcome to Living the Reclaim Life podcast. I'm Denisha. We're glad you're [00:00:05] here for conversations that revive hope, inspire healing, and encourage you [00:00:10] to live a vibrant life with Christ. So grab a cup of coffee as we chat with [00:00:15] today's guest. Today I'm sitting in my office, and [00:00:20] here's a little secret. My jewelry always gives away my mood.[00:00:25]
At Reclaim Story, we've created a jewelry line that tells a [00:00:30] story. Each piece is intentional and powerful. This [00:00:35] morning, as I was getting ready for a really big meeting, the kind of meeting that [00:00:40] makes you feel like a little fish swimming in a really big pond, I stood [00:00:45] in front of my jewelry box and I was feeling nervous.
Honestly, I [00:00:50] felt insignificant, but then I saw it. My rose gold [00:00:55] necklace with the word significant on it, and I knew that that was the one [00:01:00] for today that matched my mood. See, even when I feel [00:01:05] small, God reminds me of what he's doing in and through me and that it [00:01:10] is significant. That one word on my necklace gave me the [00:01:15] confidence to walk into that meeting with my head held high, [00:01:20] and it also reminded me.
My primal question, my primal [00:01:25] question is, do I have purpose? And that question was [00:01:30] imprinted on me early in life, shaped by experiences, both [00:01:35] spoken and unspoken messages and moments that left me wondering if I [00:01:40] truly mattered. Now as an adult, I still find myself [00:01:45] asking it though, not out loud, right? I'm not weird.
I don't walk up to people in Target and go, do I [00:01:50] have purpose? Right? But I seek a yes to that question from the [00:01:55] people closest to me, from my work and even from society. I might not [00:02:00] say it directly, but I am watching and I am listening, and I'm looking for [00:02:05]confirmation. When the answer feels like a no, you don't have purpose, or [00:02:10] maybe I go into what Mike Foster calls the scramble.[00:02:15]
For me, that scramble looks like overworking, striving [00:02:20] for perfection, saying yes to too many things, trying to prove that I [00:02:25] do have purpose, but I'll be honest, that striving, that overworking, [00:02:30] it always leads to stress, exhaustion, and burnout for me. [00:02:35] I wonder if that sounds familiar to you. For years, I felt this pattern, but [00:02:40] I didn't have words for it until I read Mike Foster's book, the Seven Primal [00:02:45] Questions.
Guys, if you haven't grabbed it yet, grab it on Amazon. It is so worth the [00:02:50] read if this content of the last episode with Mike and this one, [00:02:55] if it makes you curious to dive in a little bit more, I highly recommend grabbing the book. [00:03:00] Mike Foster is one of my personal heroes in the growth and healing [00:03:05] space.
So if you caught episode 1 43, you know why? And if you [00:03:10] didn't, go back and listen. It is powerful. In his book, Mike breaks down [00:03:15] these primal questions, and these questions are rooted in decades of [00:03:20] research from Mike, over 6,000 hours of interviews and over 22 [00:03:25] group labs. And what he found out is this. We [00:03:30] all have a question that we are silently asking one that has shaped us [00:03:35] in childhood and still drives us today.
So what are those [00:03:40] seven primal questions? They are number one, am I safe? [00:03:45]Number two, am I secure? Number three, am I [00:03:50] loved? Number 4:00 AM I wanted number [00:03:55] five. Am I successful? Six, am I enough? [00:04:00] And number seven, do I have purpose? Now as I [00:04:05] read those, you might relate to several, but one stands out [00:04:10] and it's our apex question.
It's the one that hits the deepest in our hearts [00:04:15] understanding mine. Do I have Purpose was a game changer for me. [00:04:20] It was so much of a game changer in my life that I became a certified primal question [00:04:25] coach and trainer because I wanted others to find the same clarity and freedom that [00:04:30] I had found. And when asking Mike about what is his mission in [00:04:35] life, I love this.
He says, I wanna help people embrace everything they [00:04:40] are to see their strengths and gifts, but also the blocks and beliefs [00:04:45] that hold them back. Guys, that's what our primal question does. It uncovers [00:04:50] your hidden programming, your core emotional need and your God-given [00:04:55] superpower. So if we think about it, how many times have you asked, [00:05:00] why do I keep doing this?
Why does that thing always [00:05:05] trigger me? Why do I keep falling into the same patterns? [00:05:10] There are so many times that I feel like Paul in Romans seven [00:05:15] 15. He says, I do not understand what I do for [00:05:20] what I want to do. I do not do, but what I hate I do. [00:05:25]Does that sound familiar? It sure does to me. What if those [00:05:30] unwanted behaviors, that relational tension, those harmful habits, [00:05:35] irrational fears, all trace back to an unmet emotional [00:05:40] need?
And that is what our primal question helps us understand. [00:05:45] As Mike said in the last episode, it's the root we wanna get to of archery, [00:05:50] not just the branches. We can trim the branches and [00:05:55] that looks more like, stop doing this. Don't do this. But why do we do [00:06:00] the things that we're trying to trim out of our lives?
Those answers are [00:06:05] in the roots, and that's what the primal question helps us get to. [00:06:10]When we live disconnected from that understanding, it's like moving through [00:06:15] life in a fog. But when we gain clarity, that is where [00:06:20] transformation begins. Here's another powerful concept that Mike [00:06:25] introduces. The renter versus owner mindset.
Let me [00:06:30] explain. The renter mindset says someone else will fix this. [00:06:35] I need permission to change. If only someone else would do their part, I'd be [00:06:40] Okay. So how does this play out? Let's say you're renting a [00:06:45] house or an apartment, and let's say your dishwasher goes out. [00:06:50] Hopefully your landlord will come in and repair your dishwasher, right?
He'll take care of that [00:06:55] dishwasher. He'll replace it. He'll get the plumber to come in and do whatever he needs to do. [00:07:00] So you go to your landlord and they'll handle whatever the problem is. [00:07:05] A lot of us approach our lives that way as a [00:07:10] renter mindset, we think we need permission or that someone else is going [00:07:15] to take care of us, or if someone else just did something, then [00:07:20] I would be okay.
My life would be so much better if someone else and [00:07:25] friends. That is a really powerless mindset. What we want to [00:07:30] embrace is the owner mindset. The owner mindset says, [00:07:35] this is my life, my story. I take responsibility. I [00:07:40] may not control everything, but I am in charge of how I respond. In [00:07:45] other words, if our dishwasher breaks, we don't need permission from anyone [00:07:50] to fix it.
We can go on YouTube, we can look up how to [00:07:55] fix it. We can call a plumber. We can get it fixed ourselves. Friends, you don't [00:08:00] need anybody's permission to follow your dreams. You are [00:08:05] responsible for you, and you get to make decisions that impact [00:08:10] your life. And along with that gift, it also means that we [00:08:15] will also own all the consequences, the pros and the cons, all of the [00:08:20] upside, but also all of the downside of the choices that we make.[00:08:25]
If I order the wrong part and I start the dishwasher and it floods my kitchen, [00:08:30] I have to own that. As much as I have to own the dishwasher. Working [00:08:35] and providing the service that it's supposed to do, that is [00:08:40] self-leadership, and I love that there's so much strength in that [00:08:45] to be an owner of your life instead of a renter.
So I'm [00:08:50] curious. Are there any places in your life where you feel like a [00:08:55] renter? Are there any places in your life that the thought of taking ownership [00:09:00] sounds scary? Well, I wanna tell you a beautiful truth, [00:09:05] that you're not doing it alone. You're not making decisions alone. You're not [00:09:10] having the consequences, the pros and the cons all by yourself because [00:09:15] you walk in partnership with the Holy Spirit.
John 1516 [00:09:20] says, you didn't choose me. I chose you. I [00:09:25] appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit. Friend, you're [00:09:30] not here by accident. You've been chosen to live a life of [00:09:35] purpose and fruitfulness, and why does all of this matter? [00:09:40] See, once we identify our primal question, we'll begin to see how [00:09:45] it's narrated our inner story.
You'll begin to understand [00:09:50] why you think the way you do respond, how you do and feel what you [00:09:55] feel. This clarity for me has radically improved my [00:10:00] relationships. It has equipped me to lead myself well, and it has helped me [00:10:05] to co-author a new story with God when, where my past doesn't [00:10:10] define me. What would it look like for you to radically improve your [00:10:15] relationships?
To be equipped to lead yourself well, to help [00:10:20] you co-author a new story with God, one where your past doesn't define you. [00:10:25] When we understand our primal question, we begin to live [00:10:30] from a yes and not for a yes. So instead of [00:10:35] asking, do I have purpose? It becomes, I have purpose [00:10:40] instead of living for the world to tell me and give me a yes to my question.
I [00:10:45] can self lead myself and say, I have purpose and I can lead from [00:10:50] that truth instead of for that truth. So instead of [00:10:55] asking, am I safe? You are safe, how would that [00:11:00] change your life from living from that instead of living for that? Yes. [00:11:05] Am I secure? Am I loved? Am I wanted, am I [00:11:10] successful? Am I enough? Do I have purpose?
Friends, [00:11:15] let's flip that, and instead of living for that, yes, let's live from the truth that [00:11:20] it is a yes. All through scripture, Jesus answers our questions [00:11:25] with a resounding yes. So let's begin living from that truth and [00:11:30] not for that truth. This will greatly impact our lives. That [00:11:35] truth, that you have purpose, that you are enough, that you are wanted, you are loved, you are [00:11:40] secure.
That truth is your primal gift and you get to own [00:11:45] that. As Mike shared in the last episode, you take your question and you place it [00:11:50] over everyone else in your life. So those of us whose primal question is [00:11:55] am I loved the people around you, you are so good at making them [00:12:00] feel loved. If your question is, am I wanted?
You are [00:12:05] a ER of people. You bring people together. You don't leave a coworker [00:12:10]sitting out of a lunch date. You make sure that people are included. You have a superpower of [00:12:15]helping everyone to feel like they are wanted. Whichever primal question yours [00:12:20] is, that is your superpower that you bring to the world.
And as [00:12:25] you answer your primal question with a yes. The very thing that you have always [00:12:30] wanted a yes to is now yours to give away. Now if [00:12:35] you're wondering what is my primal question, we would love to help. [00:12:40] If you email us at podcast@reclaimstory.com, we'll [00:12:45] send you a link to the free primal question assessment.
We'll send you A [00:12:50] PDF that breaks down each question, and it may even help you in relationships. [00:12:55] Let's say you take the assessment, find out your primal question, and then maybe your best [00:13:00] friend or your spouse takes the primal question assessment, and then you can look and begin to [00:13:05] compare on that PDF, and hopefully it'll give you powerful insights.[00:13:10]
We are also gonna send you powerful scriptures that show how Jesus answers every one of those [00:13:15] primal questions. With that resounding yes, and we pray that [00:13:20] this may just be the clarity that you're looking for. Well, we are so [00:13:25] glad that you joined us today. Thank you. Our heart is to help you [00:13:30] find healing from the pain of your past, so your story becomes your strength.[00:13:35]
And the Primal question framework is a great tool to help us understand [00:13:40] ourselves, our past, and our future, so our story can become our strength. [00:13:45] That is exactly what happened in Selena's life. Be sure to join us [00:13:50] on April 21st for our next episode as she shares how the Lord brought her [00:13:55] from being trafficked to walking in true freedom.
Her story [00:14:00] is powerful, and now God is using her to bring hope and healing to others [00:14:05] who are coming out of trafficking. You won't wanna mess this inspiring episode. We'll see [00:14:10] you then. Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's [00:14:15] conversation and maybe. Even feel a little less alone in your story.
Stay connected [00:14:20] with us on Facebook and Instagram at Reclaimed Story. Wanna learn [00:14:25] more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our growing community of Reclaimers? [00:14:30] Check out our website@reclaimedstory.com. All of those links [00:14:35] and more will be in the show notes. And if you enjoy this inspirational podcast, be [00:14:40] sure to subscribe, rate and review.
Not only will you be the first one to know [00:14:45] when new content comes out, but it is also a huge help in helping us reach more [00:14:50] people to live the reclaimed [00:14:55] life.
