Look Like Jesus ~ Brianna Barrier Wetherbee Ep. 121

Meet Brianna Barrier Wetherbee as she shares wisdom from her and Roger Barrier's new book, Look Like Jesus: A Guide to Spiritual Growth. In Look Like Jesus, they line out the path to spiritual maturity so clearly that you can't miss it! In this episode, Brianna will discuss spiritual growth and the ultimate joy of knowing Jesus intimately.

We all at Reclaimed Story send our condolences and love to the Barrier family. After Brie and I recorded this episode, her precious father, Roger Barrier, went to meet Jesus. In Brie’s words, it is his time to discover the wonders of heaven he dreamed of all his life—time to see the Savior he loved so deeply and served so diligently. We are thankful for the rich legacy Roger has left here on earth and in so many who were impacted by his love, his life, and his ministry. 

You can find more of this incredible family's legacy at  Preachitteachit.org
You can find their new book, Look Like Jesus, A Guide to Spiritual Growth on Amazon.

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Transcript

Transcript is auto-generated.

[00:00:00] Denisha: This month, we are talking about action steps. Little things we can do [00:00:05] today to make a big difference in our lives tomorrow. So what does it look [00:00:10] like to grow spiritually? What does the Bible say about spiritual growth and [00:00:15] how do we pursue it practically? Get ready for all of this and more in this [00:00:20] episode with Brianna Barrier Wetherbee.

Before we get started, we are so excited to [00:00:25] share with you that this podcast has been listened to in 921 cities in [00:00:30] the U. S. and 41 countries. We are thankful for what the Lord [00:00:35] has done and his provision to make this podcast possible. And for each of 

you who listen, [00:00:40] subscribe and share 

with your friends.

Today's episode will be one that you want to [00:00:45] share. We always post new episodes on 

Facebook and Instagram, and we would love for [00:00:50] you to click and share now 

for this episode with Brianna Barrier [00:00:55] Wetherbee. Before we get started, all of us here at Reclaimed Story send [00:01:00] our condolences and love to the Barrier family.

After Brie and I [00:01:05] recorded this episode, her precious father, Roger Barrier, went to meet Jesus. [00:01:10] In Bree's words, it is his time to discover the wonders of heaven he dreamed [00:01:15] of all his life. Time to see the Savior he loved so deeply and served so [00:01:20] diligently. We are thankful for the rich legacy that Roger has left here [00:01:25] on earth and in so many people's lives who were impacted by his love, [00:01:30] his life, and his ministry.

I am looking 

forward to this [00:01:35] conversation. I have the privilege of introducing you to Brianna Barrier Weatherby, also [00:01:40] known as Brie, and I can't wait for you to get to know her. Brie, you have [00:01:45] such an interesting career. Would you share with us some of the things that you've done that has led you [00:01:50] to this book that your dad and you are releasing 

[00:01:52] Brianna: now?

Thanks so much for having me, Denisha. [00:01:55] This is fun. I grew up in Tucson. My parents are Roger and Julie [00:02:00] Barrier, and they basically built, uh, Cass's church over the years in [00:02:05] Tucson. And my father has pastored for over 50 years. [00:02:10] And right now he retired from church ministry, but he's working on a [00:02:15] website called preachitteachit.

org. And he answers all kinds of [00:02:20] questions about biblical things and theological things and life things [00:02:25] in his Ask Roger column. And over the last five or six years, I've [00:02:30]started writing with him and also as Ask Roger in Friends. I have a, uh, [00:02:35] goodness, I have kind of a, a long history with ministry.

Growing up in a [00:02:40] preacher's family, I was immersed in dad's sermon prep. He would walk [00:02:45] the halls on Saturday and preach what he was going to say on Sunday, you know, and so [00:02:50] I'd have things memorized by then. And I really had a deep draw in my heart to be involved with [00:02:55] ministry when I was younger. So when I was in college, I went on a [00:03:00]mission trip to Guatemala.

Because I was just sure God was calling me to be a missionary. But while I [00:03:05] was there, I contracted TB. And unfortunately, it kind of [00:03:10] started a cascade of events that led to a chronic illness because I [00:03:15] no longer have a functioning immune system. And so a lot of my [00:03:20] dreams of going overseas and being involved hands on in the field and those kinds of [00:03:25] things were really taken away at that time.

And so I was asking God, what do you want me to do? [00:03:30] You know, I have this ministry I want to do. I want to carry on my dad's legacy. I want to teach people [00:03:35] about Jesus. I want to serve you. You know, what am I going to do? And it's very [00:03:40] interesting. I decided to go to seminary after college and I met Chuck and [00:03:45] Cynthia Swindoll.

I was going to Dallas. Theological seminary and I became what's [00:03:50] called a chocolate, which is a ghostwriter for Chuck. [00:03:55] And I worked on a bunch of his books, including his revelation series, which is [00:04:00] super fun. And during that time, I got opportunities to go straight for other folks like Charles [00:04:05] Stanley and Nancy Lee DeMoss, who I love.

Hey, [00:04:10] Arthur, you know, some other folks that I really admired. And during that time, I was finishing up my [00:04:15] master's in theological and biblical studies, and I got involved with their [00:04:20] fundraising folks and wow. I found my passion. I found the [00:04:25] place that God. Totally intended for me to be, which is telling [00:04:30] people what he is doing all around the world, and then inviting them to get involved.

[00:04:35] And so it's just such a privilege to say, Hey, God's working here. Come get [00:04:40]involved. Hey, God's working here. Come get involved, you know? And I just finished my 22nd [00:04:45] year, which makes me feel old, but, uh, in fundraising and had the honor [00:04:50] of crossing the 1 billion mark of funds raised for ministry. So that's really [00:04:55] exciting.

That is amazing. I look back and I think, how on earth is that possible? I mean, [00:05:00] God gave me the joy of working with missions like Wycliffe Bible [00:05:05] translators and crew, which used to be Campus Crusade and mission aviation fellowship, [00:05:10] and then lots of folks here in the States and a lot of Christian medical and, [00:05:15] and dental organizations that do overseas missions.

And it's been a lot of fun, [00:05:20] but in the midst of all of it, I kept ghostwriting, including working with my [00:05:25] dad. And I just finished my 40th book, Ghostwritten, and then this [00:05:30] book, Look Like Jesus, that we're going to talk about today is my, actually my [00:05:35]first book with my name on it. And it's writing with my dad and it's writing [00:05:40] truth that has just sunk into my life since I was a little girl.

So it was really, really fun to [00:05:45] sit down and do this with him. 

[00:05:46] Denisha: Yes, I was reading through Look Like Jesus. I thought of so [00:05:50] many times when I could see your dad with the white flip chart up on the [00:05:55] platform or in like a small room where he was training leaders and drawing the different things [00:06:00] that you guys have outlined in the book.

And I thought, Oh, those I remember those days. [00:06:05] So if that's what I remember, I can only imagine this is like in your DNA. 

[00:06:09] Brianna: I [00:06:10] remember him drawing those steak figures on transparencies [00:06:15] when I was a kid, you know, and so then like [00:06:20] we moved to the flip charts and then we moved to the slides with graphics and in the [00:06:25] book, I'm so excited because I have a friend of mine who's an artist in the UK and he's [00:06:30] a comic book artist.

And so he took a lot of dads. Images and thoughts and stuff [00:06:35] and translated them into these kind of fun, humorous, but still very [00:06:40] explanatory visuals. And it just, it's fun to watch the kind of the development of things like that. [00:06:45] That's so neat. And he 

[00:06:46] Denisha: really did bring it to life where it's still simple [00:06:50] enough.

You can take a mental picture and remember the journey that you guys are teaching through [00:06:55]in that particular chapter, but yet brought it to life. So, oh, that's so fun. It's [00:07:00] so neat to hear how things began and just what God has done over 50 years of ministry. [00:07:05] That's amazing. Wow. Such a legacy with your family.

[00:07:08] Brianna: Oh my goodness. [00:07:10] Yeah, it's a privilege. I think that's my favorite part about this book because Look Like Jesus [00:07:15] comes out of the very beginning of my dad's ministry. He [00:07:20] and my mom moved to Tucson to pastor Cassius in 1974. And in [00:07:25]1976, they had my older sister, Jessie and Jessica [00:07:30] Lynn, and she was born with a serious heart defect and she lived about [00:07:35] nine months.

And after she passed away, my dad was really struggling [00:07:40] with, God, why would you do this? You know, why would you let our daughter die? [00:07:45] I've given my life to serve you. This is what I'm going to do, but I don't get this. [00:07:50] And he heard God speak really clearly [00:07:55] and deeply. And he says that the Holy Spirit speaks in your knower, you know, [00:08:00]where it's just.

You hear it. You can't mistake it. It's deep within [00:08:05] and he heard God say, I want you to know how much it hurts [00:08:10] when one of my Children refuses to grow up or grows up. [00:08:15]And so dad and mom focused their entire ministry [00:08:20] on helping followers of Jesus Christ recognize what it is [00:08:25] to grow up spiritually, to understand it biblically, and then to know how to do it, how [00:08:30] to pursue it practically.

And that's what this book is all about. It goes from like the biblical roots of [00:08:35] spiritual maturity and then takes it through, okay, let's get down to what we really do in the nitty [00:08:40]gritty on the daily basis and grow. So that's the heart of the book. And it is 

[00:08:44] Denisha: [00:08:45] wonderful, too. As I was reading it, I just happened to come across some statistics that I thought [00:08:50] were interesting and really showed the need for this sort of teaching right now.

[00:08:55] I read that 63 percent of Americans self define as [00:09:00] Christians, but only 4 percent of those people are actually growing and [00:09:05] maturing in their faith. And that's a hard thing to quantify, right? To know [00:09:10] How do you know someone is growing? Like, I'm like, I just pray that I'm in that 4 percent because [00:09:15] that's my heart is to grow and mature and follow Christ.

It's a journey that is not [00:09:20] always so clear. And I love that in the description to your guys's [00:09:25] book, it says that you line out the path to spiritual maturity so [00:09:30] clearly that you can't miss it. I love that because I thought, Oh, good, [00:09:35] because I don't want to miss it. And I can miss things super clear. So [00:09:40] bring some clarity to us, Bri.

I would love to hear just kind of take us [00:09:45] on that journey. What does it look like to know that you're spiritually maturing in 

[00:09:49] Brianna: Jesus? [00:09:50] I'm going to bring up something really hard to start with. Because I know [00:09:55] that same statistic and it truly breaks my heart. I think that most [00:10:00]Christians today know what it means when I say, accept Jesus [00:10:05] into your heart, you know, or trust Christ with your heart.

And we often [00:10:10] distill it down to, Hey, pray the prayer, you know, pray the prayer and ask him [00:10:15] into your heart and then you're good to go. And scripturally that is true. [00:10:20]Accepting Jesus into your heart involves saying, yes, I know I'm a sinner. [00:10:25] Yes, Lord, I want your forgiveness. Yes. Be Lord of my life. [00:10:30] But there is such a thing as lip service.

We can say, we can be [00:10:35] very intentional about it and we can be honest about it. But [00:10:40] lip service doesn't mean much until it actually changes who you are [00:10:45] and changes your life. And so, you know, I think Jesus made [00:10:50] this. I'm not a big believer in, in, in, you know, entering a relationship with him, a very simple process on purpose.[00:10:55]

You know, it's that faith like a child, but then I think it's critical [00:11:00] for us to say, okay, faith like a child, you start as a child, but then you really [00:11:05] know whether or not you have a real relationship with the Lord as your life [00:11:10] changes. Because when Jesus comes in, nothing stays the same, nothing, [00:11:15] you know?

And so I don't think God expects. [00:11:20] More of us, when we first become Christians, then [00:11:25] that, Oh, I recognize I'm a sinner. Oh, I want you to be in my life. [00:11:30] Oh, make me different. Make me your child, but that doesn't last very long. [00:11:35] You know, you've made that decision and then it's like, okay, well, what's next? [00:11:40] You know, and I think we use this, uh, this image called the hiking trail [00:11:45] in the second chapter of the book to show you how you walk from being a [00:11:50] spiritual child through being a spiritual young man and woman.

To being a spiritual mother and [00:11:55] father. And some of those characteristics I found super helpful being a [00:12:00] spiritual child. You know, you need the milk, you need scripture [00:12:05]teaching, you need biblical input and reminds me of my daughter, Emmy. She's [00:12:10] 19 now, but we gave her something called the action Bible.

When she was nine [00:12:15] years old and action Bible is super cool because it takes scripture and it puts it in [00:12:20] pictures But they're almost comics because they walk you through stories and that little [00:12:25] girl every day every night Read and read and read the action Bible [00:12:30] and she was able to tell you I mean the sit down for [00:12:35] Bible trivia with her and it's frightening Because she can answer [00:12:40] questions about just anything in the Old Testament and what happened in this account and this account [00:12:45] and all, you know, it's remarkable.

But she at, you know, 11 or 12 could [00:12:50] parrot all that back, right? She'd recorded it in her mind. She had [00:12:55] the pictures and she was really getting to know. And that's, as you [00:13:00] mature as a spiritual child, you're getting all of that input from the Lord, [00:13:05] from those stories that teach truth to getting into, you [00:13:10] know, some more of the Psalms that kind of, she would sing them.

She's very musical girl. And she [00:13:15] just make up her own melodies, you know, and sing the Psalms and that's how she memorized them. You know, just that [00:13:20] spiritual childhood is eating that meat, you know, [00:13:25] getting the milk of scripture, then getting the meat of scripture. And then you move into, [00:13:30] uh, spiritual young men and women, and that's where you really start to [00:13:35] interact with your world.

I like the phrase rubber meets the road, you know, [00:13:40] you've kind of taken in all of this and now it's like, okay, here you go. We're going to [00:13:45] let you become open and available to some of this hard stuff. What are you going to [00:13:50] do with it? Are you going to decide I don't want to deal and stay a spiritual child?[00:13:55]

Or are you going to say, okay, I'm going to conquer, I'm going to overcome and I'm going to [00:14:00] fight this stuff because I want to be a warrior for the Lord and his kingdom. I want to [00:14:05] grow. Amy wants to grow. So when she was, I [00:14:10] guess, 13 or 14. She's been my why child her whole life. So it's not enough to [00:14:15] know like here's what happened It's why did god allow this to [00:14:20] happen or if I see this in my world?

How do I know? Whether that's [00:14:25] god or not Or how do I know if it's? Biblically appropriate or [00:14:30] not. And I'm telling you the challenges, the questions she gave me, thank [00:14:35] God for ask Roger for my dad. I asked Roger a lot and then thank the [00:14:40] Lord for reasons. org. He Ross is an astronomer astrophysicist, and [00:14:45] he has a resource with tons of the why questions.

And it's not [00:14:50] easy. To fight through being a spiritual young man or woman. It's the point at which God [00:14:55] allows us to start interacting with Satan in our world. It's [00:15:00] where we start fighting demonic attacks. You know, it's where we really have to get [00:15:05] down and dirty and hold on to what we believe. And I have a great example of this with Amy.

She [00:15:10] was 15 and her best friend came to her and said, [00:15:15] Amy, I'm transgender. And say, I'm not Lisa. This is not her real name, but I'm not [00:15:20] Lisa anymore. I want to be Johnny and said, will you still be my friend? [00:15:25] And Emi was dumbstruck. She's curious. So she'd [00:15:30] read all this stuff about what transgender issues are and what scripture says [00:15:35]about how God made us and was kind of pulled between how do I really love my [00:15:40] friend?

This is my friend, you know, and she was kind of mourning the loss of her [00:15:45] friend in some ways, because this was a whole different person for her to interact with. And we spent a [00:15:50] lot of time praying and talking and searching scripture. And basically she went back to this friend and she said, [00:15:55] okay, look, I don't understand exactly why you feel this way.

And she said, and here's what I [00:16:00] really believe about it. Will you listen? And he was like, yeah, yeah, I'll [00:16:05] listen. And then she basically told him, here's how God created us. Here's why I [00:16:10] don't really understand how you feel, but I'm not going to invalidate how you feel because I'm not your [00:16:15] Holy Spirit. She said, but I'm going to love you and I'm going to be your [00:16:20] friend.

I just want you to know that I'm still here for you. [00:16:25] And she still had lunch with that friend. She prayed with that friend. And about six months [00:16:30] later, he came and said, Hey, I think I really want to see a counselor about some of this stuff. [00:16:35] And so we got him working with a counselor, basically from our church who specialized in [00:16:40] these kinds of things.

And this. This very troubled, [00:16:45] confused, precious little soul came to know the Lord, and today she is [00:16:50] helping at a crisis pregnancy center. Working with yeah, [00:16:55] working with folks who come in that are struggling with gender issues and she's 19. Wow, you know, I [00:17:00] have chills because any basic head first, whether she was going to lose her [00:17:05]friend or not she loved her friend more than she cared about what she thought.

And that to me [00:17:10] is what searching for spiritual young man or womanhood is it's [00:17:15]engaging with the world. With the hard things and deciding that you're going to fight [00:17:20] for scripture. You're going to fight for God's will. And you're going to listen to the Holy spirit. And [00:17:25] with 

[00:17:25] Denisha: so much love, I'm going to be your friend.

I'm going to be here with you kind [00:17:30] of like, I'm not going anywhere as you 

[00:17:31] Brianna: wrestle through this. That's I love [00:17:35] you. I love that. She said, I'm not your Holy spirit. I'm not going to [00:17:40] convict you. I'm going to do what Jesus did and love you, you know? And boy, [00:17:45] Oh, that hit me because it was like, I get these questions all the time.

Am I [00:17:50] supposed to stand up against this or stand up against that? Or one of the [00:17:55]hardest ones is how can I really love? A friend that I know that is caught [00:18:00] up in sin, any kind of sin, how can I really love that person like Jesus would, [00:18:05] and yet not condone the sin, you know, and it really gets down to the [00:18:10] heart of, man, we're all sinners.

We are all sinners, and [00:18:15] I am not the Holy Spirit. However, I can love and not [00:18:20]condone. And that's a line you have to practice walking. A lot of faith and a lot of [00:18:25] love. So I think that's another big part of growing spiritually is learning how to do that. [00:18:30] What a great 

[00:18:30] Denisha: example your daughter is though. And that had to be a proud mom [00:18:35]moment.

That was really beautifully walked 

[00:18:38] Brianna: out. [00:18:40] We worked through it together and guess what she's majoring in apologetics. Oh, that's [00:18:45]

[00:18:45] Denisha: awesome. 

[00:18:46] Brianna: I was like, Oh, my white child. [00:18:50] Awesome! Let's do 

[00:18:52] Denisha: that. She'll be ghostwriting for Ask Roger soon. 

[00:18:54] Brianna: [00:18:55] You know, she's already written some with him. They've had some young Ask [00:19:00] Roger questions.

I love it. 

[00:19:02] Denisha: That really [00:19:05] is the stage in our, in our walk with the Lord where the rubber meets the road. Yeah. It's a great [00:19:10] way to capture that. And what's 

[00:19:11] Brianna: next? Becoming a spiritual mother or [00:19:15] father, the number one thing that scripture teaches [00:19:20] is that spiritual maturity comes when we experience [00:19:25] Christ's sufferings.

And when you spend some time in Hebrews, when you spend some [00:19:30] time looking at Paul. You know, in his life. And then when you spend some [00:19:35] time looking at the lives of some of our really great Christian leaders, teachers, preachers, [00:19:40] theologians, pain is a common thread, whether [00:19:45] it's emotional pain, mental health issues, physical [00:19:50] pain, things like children dying, you know, just.

Very, [00:19:55] very deep wounding pain allows us to engage with Christ's [00:20:00] sufferings and put everything in perspective spiritually. And I think my [00:20:05] favorite quote about this that helped me tremendously is from A. W. Tozer, [00:20:10] who's one of my very favorite authors. And he said, suffering either [00:20:15] brings bitterness or compassion.

Choose. [00:20:20] Choose. And he's done. Choose. Choose. And I [00:20:25] have lived great suffering. I still do every day. I live with [00:20:30] pain. I live with not being able to do a lot of the things that physically I [00:20:35] used to do. I had cancer four times. I endure 16 hour [00:20:40] IVs that are excruciating every other week. I've been shot in a drive by.[00:20:45]

Wow. Yeah, there's just so many things in life that that God has [00:20:50] given me some big challenges and I can say that I'm [00:20:55] grateful for all of them, which is years of working [00:21:00] through my anger with God Working through my [00:21:05] true desire to be a spiritual mother and it comes down to a [00:21:10] prayer that my dad Challenged me to pray and challenged [00:21:15] every single person who's ever Been in his ministry to pray and that [00:21:20] is Lord Will you make me a spiritual mother or father at any [00:21:25] cost?

when I say any cost any [00:21:30] cost. And that's brutal. It's brutal. And it's not [00:21:35] intended to be anything less than brutal. Because it takes that [00:21:40] scrubbing, wearing. Dad has this great image of sculptors use little tools to make [00:21:45] little changes, but they use sledgehammers to make wholesale changes. [00:21:50] And I truly believe that if you want to be a spiritual father or mother at any cost, [00:21:55] it's going to be that brutal sledgehammer again and again and again.

[00:22:00] And it will not stop until we reach heaven. There's no expectation. I have no [00:22:05]expectation that life's ever going to be easy for me again. You know, I have good [00:22:10] days, I have bad days and underneath it all, when I'm having a good [00:22:15] day, I really am going, okay, God, what's next? Can you just please prepare me, you [00:22:20] know, you never know.

But I will also say it is worth it. [00:22:25] Beyond measure. It is worth it. It is worth it to experience [00:22:30] God's love deeply through the pain. It's worth it to [00:22:35] experience the Holy Spirit's comfort. There's nothing like that. It's not earthly. [00:22:40] There's nothing like the privilege of sharing [00:22:45] what God has brought you through with other people.

This probably sounds silly, but my favorite [00:22:50] thing that God has let me do with, uh, with chronic pain is [00:22:55] minister to some groups on Facebook. There are a lot of folks that have immune issues like I [00:23:00] do, and they really don't have anyone in their family who understands. We're super [00:23:05] rare, like one in 50, 000.

And so I have this chance to talk about, okay, [00:23:10] so. You're struggling with this kind of pain. You're struggling with this. Let's talk about how, how to help, [00:23:15] you know, or even just offering practical things I've learned or acceptance. [00:23:20] Hey, you're not in this alone. And that's a privilege I wouldn't have had I not been [00:23:25] through the pain, you know?

So I don't think you ever get to the end [00:23:30] of spiritual maturity while you're here on earth ever. I think that's why God [00:23:35] never took Paul's thorn away because we never get to the end, but [00:23:40] I can't wait to get to heaven and hear God [00:23:45] say, you made it. You know, your, your guess what, no more [00:23:50] pain, you know, get in there and seeing, like, that's worth waiting for.

That's worth [00:23:55] hoping for. And it's worth sharing that hope with others [00:24:00] anytime you can. But I think it comes down to, if I could just do like my dad, I was [00:24:05] born like this and summarize everything [00:24:10] and summarize and just say, suffering is how we get to be a spiritual mother or [00:24:15] father. And every stinking day, it comes down to, are [00:24:20] you going to choose bitterness or compassion?

You know, 

[00:24:22] Denisha: it's such a great point. And it is a choice. [00:24:25] For sure. We can play in both sandboxes, but where are we going to choose to 

[00:24:29] Brianna: land? [00:24:30] Right? Yes. I'll 

[00:24:31] Denisha: tell you. I mean, I feel like this is a little bit of a confession, but [00:24:35] 20 years ago I had a magnet on my fridge that was handed out one day at church and it [00:24:40] said, Lord, make me a spiritual mother or father at any cost.

Now [00:24:45] I'm going to tell you is I, I mean, years and years. And then about [00:24:50] 2008, 2009, we went through some super rough stuff in our life [00:24:55] and I 

[00:24:55] Brianna: threw it away. I'm going to be totally 

[00:24:59] Denisha: honest. [00:25:00] I was like, I don't know if I want the cost of this. And I just, I got [00:25:05] irked one day, I thought, and it's so [00:25:10] true. It's what you said.

Life was not meeting the expectations at that point for our [00:25:15] family that I had. And so that was so much of it. So in that moment, it may have been bitter, [00:25:20] but I did move. Through that, I decided not to play in that sandbox, but I did spend some [00:25:25] time there in the bitterness part. But I remember thinking at any cost that has [00:25:30] always right.

And that's like probably literally over 20 years ago. And it was on our [00:25:35] fridge for a long time until we went through that 

[00:25:37] Brianna: struggle and 

[00:25:38] Denisha: we were moving at the time [00:25:40] too. So it wasn't like a moment of rage. We were moving and cleaning up, but I was like, I don't know if I like [00:25:45] this. And I remember making. An intentional, like, I don't know that I want to do this, but [00:25:50] it never has left my heart.

It was actually probably that moment embedded that truth [00:25:55] in my heart more than anything, but it was expectations. And that's kind of what you [00:26:00] said is we have these expectations of how our life is going to be. And when it doesn't [00:26:05] turn out that way, it's really hard. You know, Brie, one of the things that I hear women talk [00:26:10] about a lot in our ministry is why would God allow [00:26:15] this?

Why would God, and I'm a firm believer that God does not cause it, [00:26:20] but that he does allow things to happen and it does in suffering in our lives. [00:26:25] What would you say to someone who's maybe facing something in their life right now that [00:26:30] is not what they expected, not what they wanted, and it is bringing suffering [00:26:35] to them?

How would you say to them to encourage them and their growth? 

[00:26:38] Brianna: I think the first thing is [00:26:40] it's okay to be mad at God. He already knows. You know, and so you might as well tell [00:26:45] him. I remember a Mark Lowry concert at Cass's. It was one of [00:26:50] his very first ones. I think I was like. Seven years old and he said as a [00:26:55] joke if you're mad at God, you might as well tell him and that's [00:27:00] stuck Starting at age seven.

It was like, you know what God already knows what's going on in my head I can tell him [00:27:05]exactly how I feel about that and it gives you so much freedom because if you [00:27:10] Tell God how you're feeling if you express [00:27:15] out loud, that rage and frustration and pain, [00:27:20] it lightens the load in your heart. There's a physiological aspect to that.

[00:27:25] There's also a mental and emotional aspect to that. And there's a spiritual aspect to that [00:27:30] because things that are hidden eat us alive. You know, things that are brought into the light can be made pure [00:27:35] and whole again. So I'd say the first thing to do, tell God how you're feeling. And then [00:27:40] I'd say second, I always cry, get frustrated, get [00:27:45] the emotions and they're valid.

Have the emotions. You know, I [00:27:50] really Hope and pray for everyone going through things like this that you have [00:27:55] someone you can talk to. Someone safe, someone that you can just [00:28:00] let it all out in front of, and someone who won't tell you what to do, but [00:28:05] will just listen. Because getting that out with someone who loves you is also [00:28:10] really healing.

Getting that out with someone who's going to tell you what to do can be very [00:28:15] frustrating. And so when my husband and I got married, Brad is a problem solver. [00:28:20] And so he learned very quickly, just because I was very vocal about it. Don't tell [00:28:25] me what to do right now. Just hug me. You know, let me cry. Give me a tissue.

I need to get this out. [00:28:30] Just, you know, and so now I can say I've had enough and that's code [00:28:35] for I need to cry right now. And don't tell me what to do 

[00:28:39] Denisha: and don't [00:28:40] fix it. 

[00:28:40] Brianna: Don't try to fix it. Don't fix me. Just let me get it out. And then I think the [00:28:45] next thing to do that's really critical. If it's something that is [00:28:50] happening that needs to be dealt with is to dial down and get practical.[00:28:55]

I think too often we pray and ask God, fix this, fix this, fix this. [00:29:00] When he's putting in front of us steps to take to fix it. And so if we [00:29:05] remain totally in our emotional brains, we can get really stuck and [00:29:10] just over and over with the emotion and over and over with the pain. And we don't take the steps [00:29:15] forward to handle it.

I don't like the word compartmentalized that much because it seems very [00:29:20] cold, but I do have my, okay, we're going to set [00:29:25] aside the emotions now and we're going to deal with the practical. And a lot of times with health issues, [00:29:30] you know, that involves, okay, what'd the doctor say? Or, okay, who do I call? [00:29:35] Or, okay, what are the meds?

Okay, we're doing a treatment today, suck it up, we can do [00:29:40] this. It's having that, as my grandpa would say, intestinal [00:29:45] fortitude to take on what's in front of us. And the cool [00:29:50] part is God will give us the strength to handle it. He never fails. You know, so even when you have to [00:29:55] set emotions aside and be rough and tough and deal, you'll have the strength to [00:30:00] do it.

As women, I think we're handicapped a little bit in that [00:30:05] because we're always told your emotions. You can cry, you know, [00:30:10] be soft, be, we're almost encouraged to wallow a little bit, but the thing is there's [00:30:15] a place for emotions and there's a place for practical action. So then [00:30:20] take the action. Next step for me is always to heal after the [00:30:25] action because the action is never easy.

It's not like you just go handle it, you [00:30:30] know, yeah, you handle it, but there's a price, otherwise it wouldn't be suffering that you're going [00:30:35] through, you know what I mean? So, for me, healing from it has a couple of [00:30:40] facets. One is rest. Gotta rest. When you're suffering, when you're [00:30:45] dealing with something so intense, you have to physically [00:30:50] rest, mentally rest, and emotionally rest.

And for [00:30:55] me, that involves naps, that can involve walks. I [00:31:00] love Yoga, which sounds ridiculous because, you know, I'm [00:31:05] 45 and not that flexible, but I love it anyway. And then I love to play with my [00:31:10] dogs. You know, I love to do happy things. I'm into reading. I'm into paint my number, you know, [00:31:15] just some really deliberately taking time to heal.

There is [00:31:20] only one activity. That your left brain and your right brain are [00:31:25] both involved in it's singing. How cool is that? So there's [00:31:30] one way we can connect right and left brain at the same time. And it is [00:31:35] worshiping God, you know, it's singing and praising the Lord. So [00:31:40] that's where I get my spiritual rest.

You know, I sing through scripture. I turn up [00:31:45] music and when I am crying and don't even feel like I can sing, I just let it flow [00:31:50] over me and soak it in because, oh my goodness, [00:31:55] spiritual rest comes from worship. And so, you know, you've got your physical, you've got your [00:32:00] mental, you've got your emotional, you've got your spiritual rest.

And then I never, ever, [00:32:05] ever miss a day at the end of the day, especially when I've had enough. [00:32:10] I take time to count my blessings. Because it's very, very difficult to [00:32:15]stay in a suffering or a sorry for myself mindset when I [00:32:20] have 10 things to be thankful for. And they can be little and dumb. [00:32:25] Like, thank you, Lord, I didn't have to cook tonight, you know, [00:32:30] or thank you, Lord, that I have nice cuddly warm [00:32:35] blankets.

It can be simple or it can be a big, like, thank you, Lord, that [00:32:40] I was able to accomplish that particular action today and it's over. [00:32:45] So that's kind of the sweep up I think for survival is taking [00:32:50] time to count your blessings. So that's my

[00:32:52] Denisha: toolbox. Great tools [00:32:55] in your toolbox for you. That's for sure.

Gratitude is actually changes our brain [00:33:00] as well. I love that you do that at night because it kind of resets your brain for the next day to start it in a [00:33:05] posture of gratitude. 

[00:33:06] Brianna: It's important. If I don't do that, I can wake up so [00:33:10] anxious or I struggle to sleep because I'm anxious, you know, because boy, when [00:33:15] you're suffering, it keeps pounding and I will say there are seasons.

That we don't [00:33:20] suffer as much, but I think just being on this earth [00:33:25] with our broken sinful world Suffering is the constant in a lot of ways. [00:33:30] So it's also constant to be vigilant and deal with it. [00:33:35] I 

[00:33:35] Denisha: love the picture that you mentioned of Brad just hugging you. Just, I just [00:33:40] need a hug right now because I feel like when we're suffering, that's what the Lord does.

He's always [00:33:45] with us in it. We're never going through it alone. That he is our constant [00:33:50] companion in the midst of our suffering. And I know that for me, that's brought me a lot of peace just knowing, [00:33:55] okay, I feel alone right now, but I'm not alone because he is always with me. Just like that hug [00:34:00] at the end of the day when you're like, I just need to cry right now, but you don't have to 

[00:34:04] Brianna: do it alone.[00:34:05]

Yeah. And if it's not home, we were talking about having dogs [00:34:10] around and I have the theory. That when God was creating companions for [00:34:15] Adam, that the dog was the last one he tried before Eve. Because they are [00:34:20] very wired to be great companions and encourages for us. So I have one [00:34:25] named Luke and Luke is 11 and a half years old and [00:34:30] he's my old wise man, but he knows the word hug and he's a Labradoodle.

So he'll come [00:34:35] up and he'll put his head right there and I'll say hug and I'll put my arms around him and I'll just breathe [00:34:40] deep and sit there. And that little warm heart just beats [00:34:45] and I know I'm okay. You know, it's a sense of safety and comfort. It's really nice. You know, and I [00:34:50] think that God intentionally gave me Luke for that.

So I appreciate my [00:34:55] puppies. 

[00:34:55] Denisha: I really appreciate just all that you've shared with us and your honesty. [00:35:00]I think a lot of times when we are in ministry, sometimes we can put on it. Everything's [00:35:05]great all the time. And I just really appreciate the honesty of, you know what? Things are hard, [00:35:10] but God is there and here's how I engage him in my story.

And, um, that's just really [00:35:15] encouraging and beautiful. So thank you for being real and honest and vulnerable with 

[00:35:19] Brianna: [00:35:20] us. Glad to. I learned a long time ago that church face [00:35:25]never helps anybody. 

[00:35:27] Denisha: That is very true. Very true. [00:35:30] There are so many more nuggets than we could ever cover in an episode. Where [00:35:35] can we find a look like Jesus 

[00:35:37] Brianna: from you and your dad?

So look like [00:35:40] Jesus, a practical guide to spiritual growth. We have it on Amazon. You [00:35:45] can get the paperback version or the Kindle. Just look up, look like Jesus, [00:35:50] Dr. Roger barrier, Brianna barrier, whether it be, if you want. It's on Barnes and [00:35:55] Noble for nook. You can also get a paperback or you can get it for nook.

And [00:36:00] then just about any other digital book. Website you can get the [00:36:05] digital version and there's even like a pdf version that you can get that's even easier to read On your [00:36:10] laptop and then i'd love to invite you guys to preach it teach it. org [00:36:15] There are almost three thousand ask roger articles now plus we [00:36:20] have other contributors who do articles, sermons, podcasts, [00:36:25] devotionals, Bible studies, folks from like John Piper to Skip Heitzig to [00:36:30] Steven Furtick.

We have some really cool partners. Some of you guys will know John Beeson [00:36:35] from the Tucson area and he and I grew up together. And he and his wife, [00:36:40] Angel, have some tremendous resources on Preach It, Teach It, and I'd invite you guys to check [00:36:45] theirs out as well. And then we should have Look Like Jesus [00:36:50] available.

On the website within the next couple of weeks, if you'd like to come check it out and purchase it [00:36:55] from there. So I'm so excited. We are now working on his next book, which [00:37:00] is kind of a half and half or between the two of us from his revelation series. And so [00:37:05] it'll be kind of a revelation commentary type deal.

So y'all can pray for that [00:37:10] as our next endeavor. Yes, 

[00:37:12] Denisha: definitely. Oh, I'm excited about that one too. [00:37:15] We'll have to have you back on when that one comes out and talk 

[00:37:18] Brianna: Give me about a [00:37:20] year. About a 

[00:37:20] Denisha: year. Okay. The most confusing book of the Bible. If you ask me, [00:37:25]that's in my personal opinion. So that would be great to 

[00:37:27] Brianna: have some more wisdom poured into that.[00:37:30]

I'm looking forward to it. It's fun. Yeah. Oh, I love that 

[00:37:33] Denisha: you say revelation is [00:37:35] fun. I know! Those who want to read it even the more. 

[00:37:39] Brianna: [00:37:40] Hey, I'm excited. I grew up with a mom, and this is just a Julie anecdote, but [00:37:45] who is going to get the biggest crown for those who are loving the day of [00:37:50] Jesus is coming. I woke up every day.

As a kid, and she would say, maybe today's the [00:37:55] day. Maybe today's the day, you know, and so revelation for our family is [00:38:00] a maybe today's the day kind of thing. So I'm excited. [00:38:05] That's so 

[00:38:05] Denisha: cool. Your mom played a huge part in my life without ever [00:38:10] even knowing it. She really paved the way for women pastors [00:38:15] at Casas.

And I had the opportunity to be on staff there for a decade as a [00:38:20] pastor and also preaching. So I always have credited your mama for paving the way and [00:38:25] pioneering that years before I ever even knew that the Lord was going to call me to ministry. So [00:38:30] she is a very special lady to my heart too. And I love that she woke you guys up with that in the 

[00:38:34] Brianna: [00:38:35] morning.

He's coming, maybe today, maybe today. She still does. She still [00:38:40] does, all the time. I love it. You know how much hope there is in that? It's like, if you're suffering, if [00:38:45] you're struggling, maybe today is the day. Oh, the [00:38:50] joy. I can't wait. I'm super psyched. I want to go see. Thanks for having [00:38:55] me. I'm so 

[00:38:55] Denisha: excited.

Thank you so much for coming on and we would love to have you [00:39:00] back anytime. Thank you for all of the nuggets and action steps that you've given us today [00:39:05] and definitely want to check out LookLikeJesus and PreachItTeachIt. [00:39:10] org. 

[00:39:10] Brianna: Very cool. Thank you so much. Yeah. And we'll talk [00:39:15] again soon. Yes, 

[00:39:16] Denisha: I would love that.

And we will see you same time, [00:39:20] same 

[00:39:20] Brianna: place in two weeks. Thanks for 

[00:39:23] Denisha: listening. I pray you found [00:39:25] hope in today's conversation, and maybe even feel a little less alone in your [00:39:30] story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at Reclaimed [00:39:35] Story. Want to learn more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our [00:39:40] growing community of reclaimers?

Check out our website at reclaimedstory. com. [00:39:45] All of those links and more will be in the show notes. And if you enjoyed this [00:39:50] inspirational podcast, be sure to subscribe, rate, and review. Not only [00:39:55] will you be the first one to know when new content comes out, but it is also a huge help in [00:40:00] helping us reach more people to live 

[00:40:02] Brianna: the reclaimed life.