Gratitude In The Struggle ~ Deborah Murphy Ep. 40

It is easy to have gratitude when things are going well; when our family, our health, and our finances are in line. But, can we have gratitude in the middle of our mess, our pain, and our grief? Deborah Murphy shares a vulnerable story of when God met her in the middle of her pain. She experienced grace to praise Him and through her praise, He changed the atmosphere.   

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Transcript

Final Ep 40 Gratitude In The Struggle

*This is autogenerated text and may have inconsistencies some from the audio.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

god, gratitude, life, situation, deborah, heart, pray, struggling, middle, hospital, worship, pain, people, lord, easy, shatter, surgery, hard, perspective, story

SPEAKERS

Deborah Murphy, Denisha Workizer

Denisha Workizer  00:00

Welcome to Living the Reclaimed life Podcast. I'm Denisha, we're glad you're here for conversations that revive hope, inspire healing and encourage you to live a vibrant life with Christ. So grab a cup of coffee, as we chat with today's guest. Today, I am excited for you to meet Deborah Murphy, she is a wife, she is a mama and she is a passionate follower of Jesus, I am so excited for you to get to know Deborah today. She has been a worship leader for 18 years now. And what you're going to hear today is her heart for worship. And we're going to talk about gratitude, and how even in the hardest times in our life, how God can lead us to a place of gratitude. And I tie that into worship, because I just see such a heart of worship over Deborah. And I'm, I'm so excited to have you today. And just for our listeners to get to know you a little bit more.

Deborah Murphy  00:58

Oh, my goodness, thank you, Denisha. So much for having me. I'm just so excited to be here. And just to be able to just share a little bit about what God has done and just hopefully touch some hearts of some hurting people out there.

Denisha Workizer  01:16

And then we have a lot of us that are in the in the thick of things right now for sure. I have to tell a funny little story. The day that I met Deborah, for the first time, she had the sweetest little four year old with her her daughter, and her daughter was so excited. She was in this meeting with us. And she kept going up to Nancy and saying, Can I do it? And how can I sing for you? Can I do it now Nancy said when we're all done with the meeting, you can sing. And after our meeting was over, I just I fell in love with you and your daughter this day. She got up on the chair. And she began in perfect pitch you guys at four years old singing waymaker And not just singing it, but like worshiping to it. And I thought that is so beautiful at four years old. You know after being kids pastor for eight years, like you cannot tell me kids do not have the capacity to worship and just seeing your sweet little girl not had a performance but out of like, Let's worship our Jesus together. It was such a beautiful moment. I love her heart. 

Deborah Murphy  02:25

Yeah, my heart grows every single time. It's like, I love it. Like I just want my kids, that's my heart for my children is just for them to love Jesus, worship Him. And I've got I've got two that are definitely my little worship leaders in in making. 

Denisha Workizer  02:47

In perfect tune. I was like what is happening right now. That's pretty amazing. Oh, Deborah, tell us a little bit. Tell us a little bit about your story. As we talk this month in November about gratitude, you know, we're trying to take kind of a different look at gratitude than what we traditionally hear. And yours is a story that I think needs to be told because I think a lot of us can relate to just work God has walked you through.

Deborah Murphy  03:17

I'm so thankful to to be able to be instrumental in that way. I'm hoping that I can be you know, during this season that's coming up right now. My heart definitely goes out to people who are struggling because this season can be so hard for so many people right now. And just the the thought process or just the the struggles that not only our everyday life, but along with that the holidays and all that can can hold. And gratitude can be such a hard subject, it really can going through some of the things that we that we struggle through in our lives. Gratitude is not the first thing that pops up. You know, a lot of times when we're struggling, we're definitely not grateful for for that situation or any you know, it can cloud us and so my heart just definitely goes out to everybody that is facing change of life, whatever it may be even loss of somebody's family situations changing whether it's a divorce or separation, just every single thing that can be hard. Any hard situation my heart goes out to you. I've definitely had my share of struggle in those areas.

Denisha Workizer  04:32

When you said it clouds are like our vision, our perspective, isn't that true? We can choose to somewhat sit in our circumstance or or we can choose to have a different perspective that that is not always easy. Like I can relate to that clouding and it feels all consuming at times.

Deborah Murphy  04:51

It really truly does. There's been so many situations over the last seven years of my life Where I have struggled so much with the thought process of God, how can this even be any good for me? Where are you in this, my faith is struggling my just rocking me to my core, and to be able to look at situations from a totally different standpoint. And to see God in the middle of it is so, so tough. And so if that's you right now, like, I just want you to know, my heart goes out to you here at reclaim story. I know, I know, all the people here, that's their heart, too. And we, we want to walk along with you in that we want to walk alongside of you in that and help you help you through because I needed that so much in my life. And I'm so thankful that, you know, God has brought me to this place where the cry of my heart is, God make gratitude the theme of my life.

Denisha Workizer  06:03

To me when I hear that, that sounds like wisdom, and wisdom comes from experience, right? So tell us a little bit, how did you get there, I know there isn't always beautiful, easy experiences that develop that type of depth in our hearts. So tell us about tell us a little about your last seven years.

Deborah Murphy  06:24

As I talk about the last seven years and some of the struggles like they're very, they're very wide and broad. So I'm just going to brush through them very quickly. But each and every circumstance has its own, like, complete, just shattering moments of where I was just so in turmoil. So seven years ago, I was I was married for 12 years. And I found myself in the middle of a domestic violence situation. And so I found myself filing for divorce, not only going through the divorce, but in the middle of a police investigation and a very, very traumatizing divorce, that I won't get into the details of but those moments and then, six years ago, I met my husband that my husband now and he had two children. I had two children, and then we had one together. So that was amazing and beautiful. But for the last three years, there's just been some health struggles that my family and I have faced and it kind of all started, my daughter had broken her arm. We thought just going home, you know, having a broken arm and going home was going to be the thing that for this, but it ended up being six surgeries, and a skin graft and just really truly fighting to actually keep her arm from being amputated. So we went through that in July, by in July and August. And then by October, I was in the hospital for pneumonia. By that next February, she was having her last surgery. And she was released by April in April. And during that time, I was having some women issues and things like that. And so I had gone to many doctor's appointments and after many doctor's appointments that September, I was told I needed to have a hysterectomy. So I had a hysterectomy. That October, I was still recovering from that and I was walking in a grocery store and I ended up getting ran into from an employee that was in in the store, they ran into my stomach and long story short, I ended up having to have a repair surgery for that hysterectomy. That was in October. By February, my physical therapist told me you know what, like, some of the issues that you're still having from these operations are still gonna continue to happen because your stomach has the some major tears in it and has to be repaired. And so by that July, I was told I had to go in for surgery for that. So I went in for surgery for the muscle repair. And on day four of recovering from that muscle repair surgery. I wasn't able to breathe anymore. And I my husband said look, we've got to get you to the hospital. So I got to the hospital and discovered that I had a blood clot that had gone to my lungs. And so I was in the hospital for five days there and I'm talking I'm just gonna stop kind of and talk a little bit about this situation. Just because God really brought me through some he really touched touched me and talk to me a lot about gratitude and changing the situation during this time. And so, just going to talk a little bit more about this situation. So I was in the hospital. It was during COVID So I couldn't have any visitors. They might My family would come to the window and just stand there and I would just cry looking at them and they would cry looking at me. And I would just lay there writhing in pain, we couldn't seem to get the pain under control. And I mean, even they would come and change my bedsheets because my sheets would be just wet from sweating so bad from from the pain for five days of that, and not having anybody come visit me. By the time I got released from the hospital there. It was so traumatizing it was just such a hard, hard experience. And I told my husband, I never want to go back there. It was a prison. It was like a prison. And I, I was just, I just never wanted to go back. And so a couple days, two days later, I was just continuing to get worse and worse and worse. And I remember him, I'll never forget him calling the doctor and saying, What do I do with her? I don't know what to do. And they said, You have she has to come back. And I remember just breaking into tears. Just laying there saying, you can't take me back there. I can't go back. Please don't make me go back. It that's a prison. It was a prison. I'll never forget. In that moment, I heard God's God's voice speak to me louder and clearer than I've ever heard it before. And he said it didn't have to be that way. I thought to myself, What do you mean, you know, what do you mean, it didn't have to be that way. Like, we could, you know, I started to just kind of get defensive a little bit. And it's like, he gave me a picture of myself laying in that hospital room and me just writhing in pain rolling over and me just saying, please take it away, please take it away, take away the pain helped me God help me God, even praying, take me God, you know, so many different prayers during that time. And him just kind of giving me a snapshot of that. And then saying, it didn't have to be that way. And I'm like, God, look at that it was a prison. And he said, I can change the prison into an altar of praise, if you will. Let me so I can talk a little bit more about about that, that experience. But you know, whenever I finally went back to the hospital, I just remember crying so much with just between me and the Lord, just saying, like, I don't want to go, I don't want to go and then the struggle of that. And then him saying to me, take me with you, you know, invite me in, you never once invited me in and said, God, change the situation, change this. And so whenever I went back that time, I remember I just had a mission in my heart just to let God be exalted and glorified, whatever way he wanted to be. And you know, him just speaking to my heart, saying, I will change your room into an altar of praise. I will bring peace into that room where it doesn't feel like it, it's in there, I'm gonna bring in it, I'll bring joy, I'll bring comfort, I'll bring peace. Let me change this for you. It's I can't change the pain. But I will change the situation, you'll understand. And so I just went back with a with a mission. And once I got back there, I it was still the same thing. It was still horrible pain. They couldn't get it under control with pain management. I got into the bed and I was sitting there for a little while. And I just thought, Okay, God, what do you want me to do? And he said, get up. And so I got up, I turned on worship music. And I just began to worship and walk in an L shape in that room. I just over and over and over again for hours and hours and hours while I was holding on to my IV pole. And just rising above the pain and just allowing myself to worship in a way that I had never worships before. And I tell you, it was as if I was lifted up away from the pain out of the pain, and just into a whole nother realm where peace and comfort and joy resided. And it was like he brought that presence into that room. And that's what the cry of my heart was is Lord, allow people to feel that allow people to feel that when they come in. Help me to open my eyes help me to look outward. Help me to see the people that you're bringing to me every day, to care for me to help me whoever it is God, just use me in the middle of the situation in the middle of the pain in the middle of the sorrow in the middle of the my family's not here in the Depression, all of that God, just use me. And my goodness, did he ever. My nurses would say to me like there's just a feeling in here that's different and I'm like, I'm so thankful like, God's doing it. God's doing it and I was able to Meet one of the ladies that was there. She had just lost her husband a few months before. And we were able to pray together and cry together and talk about her situation. And there was another lady who had been in a domestic violence situation that was one of my nurses, and she was a believer, but she was just so she was having a hard time with forgiveness, because she had been held at gunpoint, her daughter had been held at gunpoint, I mean, we're talking a horrible situation, and she just was struggling with unforgiveness. And I was able to share my situation, you know, I had been in a domestic violence situation as well. And I was able to share a little bit of my story with her, and just able to connect with her and share a story from my husband as well, he's, he's definitely my hero, whenever it comes to forgiveness, he's been able to forgive some amazing situations in his life that that he was able to forgive for, and he's just my hero, and I was able to, to share that with her and pray with her. And I hate my husband talks about forgiveness, that God, He does it for us, you know, he does the forgiveness for us, and he does the forgiving. And it's just us opening up our heart to that. And so he tells a story of how God just it was like a bucket just being dumped on him how forgiveness was just dumped on him. And so I was able to share that with this lady. And we were just able to pray together. And she's like, that's what I want to receive. And it was just so beautiful. And she was able to tell me to, you know, I just feel peace in this room. And I was just so grateful for that situation. Especially now even looking back at it just God, thank you so much for teaching me this, through this situation. And so that's an amazing part of it.

Denisha Workizer  17:05

And what's so unique about that, too, is that you didn't want to go, right, like, you're like I've been there, I've experienced this, I don't want to go back. But it's like God gave you almost a perspective shift of, you know, like your praise changes the atmosphere in so many different ways and changed. Even that lady's life, like he used those conversations to bring her to a place of forgiveness. Yeah, that's, that's amazing. Because it's not always easy to feel gratitude in the times when things are hard. It's easy when things are going awesome, right? On the mountaintop, when finances and health and relationships are all good. It's like, oh, thank you, Lord. Right. But that was in the pit. You were in the valley and to, for God to be I feel like there was definitely a grace for him to give you to say, look what you know, look what I can do, you know, and I just so encouraging, you know, for those of us who are struggling in whatever ways, like you said, whether it be health, whether it be relationships, marriages, finances, protocols, just to know that even in the midst of that, that we can allow God to give us gratitude and that it can change the atmosphere.

Deborah Murphy  18:26

Yeah, it's so true. And that's something that I want people to understand, you know, the struggles are meant to sink us. They are, they are a weapon in the hand of the enemy, that are meant to sink us. It's meant to destroy us. It's meant to annihilate us, He is the one who wants to devour us. And so that's what it's meant to do. He he wants to come into our situations, and robs us of all joy, all peace, all comfort, all of those things. He wants to do that. But gratitude shatters that gratitude is the thing that actually strips the enemy, from being able to have any glory in our situation. And it's so beautiful. It's so beautiful. And it's if we could only learn that that weapon is so mighty. It's a mighty weapon in our hands against the enemy, just to be able to have gratitude in the middle of the storm, to have gratitude in the middle of the circumstance that says, You know what, there is no gratitude left in this. I can't squeeze out any gratitude of this. But for God to use it in that way to just shatter the weapons of the enemy to shatter everything every every plan or plot that he has. It shatters it and I'm just so grateful for that like that is such An amazing thing for us to be able to learn. So if there's any circumstance that you're facing right now, I just pray that you would look at it in that way.

Denisha Workizer  20:10

Gratitude strips the enemy of His glory. Ah, okay, can we unpack that even a little bit more? How does the enemy get glory, when we're not grateful? Or when we're in the pit? Talk about that a little. 

Deborah Murphy  20:25

Yeah. So his, whenever I say Glory, it's almost his triumph, you know, you see the enemy, you see how the enemy uses situations in our lives, to gain triumph over us to to win our mind, to win the battle to win the battle that we're facing. And so we see how that happens in our lives, we watch it unfold, we can see it, actually, a lot of times, it's easier to see in someone else's life. Because we have was, so times we have a blind spot, when it comes to our own lives. It's like, you know, I, a lot of times, I'll talk to ladies, and I'll say, pretend you're talking to a friend, you know, like, pretend that you're giving advice to your friend, because it's, it's way easier to see it a lot of times when it's not our own. But my goodness, like if we could just see if we could just see the situation, from a bird's eye perspective, or from an above perspective, that just around the corner, just around the corner, is the victory. And the enemy is is robbed of being able to triumph over us from being able to gain victory in our lives, from being able to situations that are that are meant to trip us up, whatever, whatever we're facing the way that it's meant to, to stop us. It's unique to each person. So it's like, it's almost catered to us to our personality, it's like he knows he knows all of that he caters every single weapon that he uses against us, just to us. And so if we were able to see that and to understand that gratitude is that universal tool in our belt, or in our possession, that we are able to strip him from all of his schemes against us. It's, it's beautiful. It's wonderful.

Denisha Workizer  22:17

That is such a good perspective. Because I think sometimes we just want to kind of put our head down and curl up in a corner and just sit in our mess. And I love that attitude, or gratitude, gratitude, attitude of gratitude. I love it, we have to make that choice to be grateful. Like in this case, God was like, you know, all all all you change this, like this can be different. It didn't have to be that way. And you said that. You were like, if you'll go with me, I'll go again. Hmm. And I think there there's a Li You didn't just you didn't burn gratitude out of nothing. There was a grace that God was giving you as he was saying, like, it doesn't how he was challenging you a little bit in that right? And you were like, Okay, Lord, I will stand I will stand with you. And I love I love it when you sit like, if you're going to if you go, like if you're with me, then I'll go again to the hospital. And, and the glory that He got out of that shift of perspective that he brought you to is just beautiful.

Deborah Murphy  23:21

Yeah. And let me tell you Denisa, like, I know, you know this, but I am one of those people that I mean, I have been laying in the middle of my floor in the fetal position, just crying. I just want five minutes of non god, I can't take another second of this. As I got up and checked every single window indoor in my house at 2am trying to figure out like, how am I going to make it through another minute of this, you know, in the middle of my divorce and just different things that I faced where I understand, I totally understand being undone in the middle of a situation I understand it. I'm so thankful that I haven't lost a close, loved one. And so I can't say that I relate in that in that way. But in so many other ways I can completely relate. And I just want to say to the listeners out there that I understand, I want you to know we are here and we do understand that. But if you will just invite God in in the middle of the mess in the middle of the pain in the middle of the sorrow and say to him, God, will you come with me? God? Will you bring my heart to that place that gratitude is the theme of my life God, He honors that he will honor that and he will do it and I want you to know you will see it from a different perspective. If I could just let you see it from the other side. You know the other side you'll see it. Two years from now you'll come back and be like what I thought was the worst thing was actually the best thing because he's done it time, and time and time again in my life. And the same God of my life is the same God of your life. And he's gonna do it for you, too. I know it.

Denisha Workizer  25:12

Thank you. I think that is so encouraging to hear. And to hear from a place you've been there. You know, you're sharing a piece of your heart from a place that has been there. Thank you, friends. Would you pray us out today? Would you pray for the woman listening who was in sitting in that space where it looks really hard, where she saying, I don't want to go? I don't want to do whatever that is whether it's marriage, whether it's parenting, whether it's health diagnosis, whether it's grief. Could you meet her there and pray for her as we close out today?

Deborah Murphy  25:49

Yes, please. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, God, thank you so much for being our God, who not only visits us in the storm, but literally can speak to the storm of our lives, and calm the raging seas, God. And sometimes God whenever you don't choose to do that to the situation around us, God, that you just come inside of us, Lord, and give us that peace that passes all understanding. Father, would you look with your amazing eyes on every person that's listening today? God, would you in your holy your Holy Spirit, visit them Empower God? In Comfort, Lord, would you wrap your arms around them? Lord, would you speak to their hearts just for them to understand that you are the God who goes with us through it all, Lord, that you're the one that holds our hand, God that you're the lifter of our head. Lord, I pray that you would just send your presence in a new and a mighty way into each and every situation of each and every listener. That's here right now, Lord, you know, every single circumstance. And so Lord, I pray that you would minister in the way only the way that you can God. Lord, we love you. Thank you for being our God. And thank you for every single circumstance that you give us. Because we know that it's working for our good. In Jesus name. Amen.

Denisha Workizer  27:22

Deborah, thank you. Thank you for praying for each of us. And thank you for just sharing your heart so vulnerably I pray that your victory would be a victory for those who are listening as well.

Deborah Murphy  27:34

Oh, thank you. Denisha. I pray the same. Thank you.

Denisha Workizer  27:38

Amen. Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation, and maybe even feel a little less alone in your story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at reclaimed story. Want to learn more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our growing community of Reclaimers check out our website at reclaimedstory.com all of those links and more will be in the show notes. And if you enjoyed this inspirational podcast Be sure to subscribe rate and review. That is a huge help and helping us reach more people to live the reclaimed life. Thank you so much for listening