Living the Reclaimed Life

Join The Journey ~ Valerie McMahon & Denisha Workizer Ep. 103

June 05, 2023 Denisha Season 3 Episode 103
Living the Reclaimed Life
Join The Journey ~ Valerie McMahon & Denisha Workizer Ep. 103
Show Notes Transcript

A healed past unleashes a hope-filled future. Healing is a journey. Why should we heal? What keeps us from taking the necessary steps toward healing? In this episode, we want to invite you to join the journey of healing from the pain of your past through a vibrant life with Christ. Join the journey with us! 

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Transcript is auto-generated

[00:00:00] Valerie: A healed past unleashes a hope-filled future, but healing is a journey. Why should we heal, and what can keep us from [00:00:10] taking the necessary steps toward healing? In this episode, we want to invite you to join the journey of healing from the pain of your past [00:00:20]through a vibrant life with Christ. 

[00:00:22] Denisha: Welcome to Living the Reclaimed Life podcast.

[00:00:25] Denisha: I'm Danisha. We're glad you're here for conversations that revive hope, [00:00:30] inspire healing, and encourage you to live a vibrant life with Christ. So grab a cup of coffee as we chat with today's guest. 

[00:00:39] Valerie: [00:00:40] Welcome back to another episode of Living the Reclaimed Life. This is Valerie and I have something to share with you, and that is Danisha [00:00:50] is here with me on the podcast.

[00:00:52] Valerie: Danisha, we've missed you. Welcome back. 

[00:00:55] Denisha: It is good to be back. Thank you guys for all of your love and support [00:01:00]and here we are, back on the podcast together. 

[00:01:03] Valerie: Yes. Yay. It's been a while I've missed you, and we just wanna thank you again. I've been telling our [00:01:10] audience, Danisha, how much I've appreciated everyone's support and just engagement as we've done things a little different.

[00:01:17] Valerie: We've had two podcasts a month, the last few [00:01:20] months, but. Just the amount of engagement and sharing even last month with mental health awareness. We just appreciate that you guys have continued to stay with [00:01:30] us and we're not going anywhere. So we're glad that you've been on this journey with us for the last four years with reclaimed story and this.

[00:01:38] Valerie: Podcast. And speaking [00:01:40] of journey, we are kicking off the month of June with an invitation. And the invitation we have for you is to join the journey, [00:01:50] and that's what we're gonna be talking about this podcast is what is this journey that we're inviting you to, and we wanna share some exciting things coming up in our [00:02:00] ministry, and especially that we're launching this summer.

[00:02:03] Valerie: So Danisha, you have a verse to share with us as we kick off this topic of what it looks like to [00:02:10] come along on this journey with us. 

[00:02:12] Denisha: When I came across this verse, I thought, wow, this verse is a very good transition into this next season of [00:02:20] reclaimed story. And. It is Psalm 40 and it's verse one through three.

[00:02:26] Denisha: It says, I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and [00:02:30] heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud, and the mere. He set my feet on solid ground and studied me as I walked along. He has [00:02:40] given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what he has done and be amazed, and they will put their trust in the [00:02:50] Lord.

[00:02:50] Denisha: Hmm. I love that verse. And as we were breaking it down, notice the acknowledgement. You know, that he lifted me out of the pit of [00:03:00] despair. Many of us have despair in our stories. Many of us have been in a pit, will be in a pit that is part of life, right? That's one thing that Jesus promises us is that. [00:03:10] We will have, uh, hard times in our 

[00:03:12] Valerie: life and we need to name it and not be afraid to identify it.

[00:03:15] Valerie: We talked about that on our podcast with depression, is about naming our [00:03:20] feelings and that validates it. So that's part of that recognizing that we all have despair. Yes. That we don't need to be ashamed of our feelings and our emotions and what we're [00:03:30] going through. 

[00:03:30] Denisha: That is so true, and that's part of that painful past, you know, that many of us can really relate to.

[00:03:36] Denisha: And the other thing I love on here is the [00:03:40] word reclaimed means to rescue from an undesirable state and restore to a previous natural state. That's what God put on our hearts with the word reclaimed, [00:03:50] and I love that. In this verse, we see the rescuing from despair, rescuing out of the mud and the Meyer, and we also see [00:04:00] restoration.

[00:04:00] Denisha: He gave me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God, and then that many will see what he has done. And be amazed. And isn't that true of our [00:04:10] healing journey that we find ourselves in a pit at some point in our lives, and sometimes we climb out really fast and run away from it, pretend it never happened.

[00:04:18] Denisha: Mm-hmm. And until we fall [00:04:20] back in, until we fall back in, or find ourselves in another one and go, this looks really familiar. Right. So that is part of that healing process. Mm-hmm. Is allowing God to rescue us out of [00:04:30] the mud in the mere, to let him steady our feet and then to restore, to give us a new song to sing.

[00:04:37] Denisha: And about a year ago, a little less than a year [00:04:40] ago, some friends of ours, Rhonda and Jeff, contacted Nancy and I and said, you need to meet this lady named Susan. She runs a ministry, thrive Life skills, [00:04:50] and we just think you guys need to be connected in your hearts and what you're doing in your in the ministries.

[00:04:55] Denisha: And so that's exactly what we did. So we connected with Susan and [00:05:00]for, gosh, I guess probably the last seven or eight months we've been talking and collaborating, and Susan has just written some healing material that really takes us [00:05:10] on a journey from our suffering through our suffering toward healing.

[00:05:15] Denisha: And we are so excited you guys because this is the month that we finally get to tell [00:05:20] you about it. Yay. And one of the things that we are going to be doing, and you'll see it in our emails as well, if you're not already subscribed, jump over to reclaim [00:05:30] story.com and be sure to subscribe to our weekly emails because you'll receive an invitation if you're here in Tucson to a conference, um, with Susan Ho Baker.

[00:05:39] Denisha: Mm-hmm. And. [00:05:40] We are in collaboration to write, to help edit and to work on this material that will walk us through a journey to healing. [00:05:50] Now we know that healing's not a destination. Mm-hmm. It's not, I wish I could say in a week, oh, I have arrived at healing. I'm officially done, but. There are so many different layers to [00:06:00] our stories and our whole life is part of redemption, right?

[00:06:03] Denisha: That's genesis to Revelation as God rescuing and restoring us in our stories. And so at the end of this [00:06:10] month, in the end of June here in Tucson, Arizona, we are gonna have a conference at Pantana Church where we are bringing in Susan Hoer from Thrive Life Skills to kind [00:06:20] of kick off and bring a beautiful perspective on healing to us.

[00:06:25] Denisha: And then we are going to be launching life. Groups out of that Using her 

[00:06:29] Valerie: [00:06:30] curriculum. Yeah, a new song. As we're talking about the journey, the journey of healing, I think it's important to ask why. Why [00:06:40] do we need to accept this invitation of joining this journey? Why heal? What is the importance of healing?

[00:06:46] Valerie: Because we know Jesus reclaimed our stories right on the cross. He [00:06:50]died. We are saved. He has reclaimed our stories, but we don't always. Live reclaimed, right? And that's that abundant life piece that we [00:07:00] talk about with our mission. And so we wanna talk about that. We wanna talk about that with you guys today, is why heal?

[00:07:06] Valerie: And then what keeps us from taking those [00:07:10] steps toward healing. I 

[00:07:11] Denisha: love what you just said. Let's start with why do we not. Take the steps towards healing. Yeah. What holds us back from going on a [00:07:20] journey toward healing? Well, 

[00:07:21] Valerie: I know for me, just in my journey, fear has been a big, big obstacle. You know, Danisha, I [00:07:30] sit with other women too.

[00:07:31] Valerie: Women I coach. Women, we minister too. And I hear that so many times is fear, right? Fear is such an obstacle, and I [00:07:40] think sometimes, I know you and I have talked about this again, it's like. Who wants to feel pain, right? I mean, any of us who've suffered emotionally, even physical pain, you know, [00:07:50] stubbing our toe on the edge of a couch, like who wants to feel that again?

[00:07:53] Valerie: And I think that can be definitely a huge obstacle to us taking that step is that we have that [00:08:00] fear of what is it gonna feel like if I go back? What is it gonna feel like if I go back and revisit those memories? What if I fall apart? And you have a great illustration about [00:08:10] this, okay? So 

[00:08:10] Denisha: I imagine me having a sweater on.

[00:08:13] Denisha: And there's that little thread that's bugging you and you think, oh, I'm just gonna pull that thread. Yeah. [00:08:20] And so if I embark on a healing journey, I feel like what if I pull that thread and next thing you know, my sweater comes unraveled, my protection, my defenses all [00:08:30] come down and I'm naked. Yeah.

[00:08:31] Denisha: Because that's vulnerable and that's scary. And I think you're exactly right that part of our fear is feeling that pain again, [00:08:40] but. That's not really what happens. And in our attempt to protect ourselves from those painful feelings, we actually shut ourselves down from all [00:08:50] emotion. Mm-hmm. I know that I have done that when I've tried to not feel something hard.

[00:08:54] Denisha: I've also excluded joy. Mm-hmm. You know, our brains don't just, just shut down all the bad emotions and wouldn't that be [00:09:00] great? I'll flip that switch right now, right? Yeah. But. It shuts down all of our emotions. So we lose not only the hard parts, but we also lose the joy [00:09:10] and the goodness that we feel in our lives as well.

[00:09:12] Denisha: So when you pull that sweater, you will not come unhinge. That's just kind of a lie that we believe in order to protect [00:09:20] ourselves and cover up the things that have wounded us. 

[00:09:23] Valerie: Yeah. That's so good. And you know, right. That kind of goes into our next thought is lies, right? We're [00:09:30] believing the lie that we're gonna fall apart and never recover.

[00:09:33] Valerie: Or that, you know, if I go there, I'm gonna be rejected or abandoned, or I'm not gonna feel safe. So I [00:09:40] think lies, I mean, lies are so huge as far as. How they can keep us from healing. Because I've even talked to women and I've even believed myself, like, am I even worth [00:09:50] it? You know, like maybe we talk about shame a lot.

[00:09:52] Valerie: Like maybe somebody has said, you know, like, you'll never be good enough. You'll never amount to anything. And I, so I think even the lies we [00:10:00] believe about ourselves or that have been told us, makes us feel like, well, why am I even worth getting better? You know? And so that can really keep us trapped [00:10:10] and, and like I said before, is that that fear of that.

[00:10:13] Valerie: If they only knew, you know, if they only knew my past, if I shared this with somebody. And [00:10:20] unfortunately I think many of us can say we have had those moments where we took a risk and shared and then we were hurt even more. And we understand that pain and you know, sometimes we have to. [00:10:30] Forgive that hurt that we've experienced from opening up again.

[00:10:34] Valerie: But we know here at Reclaim Story that this is a safe community and that you don't have to fear [00:10:40] that judgment. Or like you said, that that being exposed, that we can be vulnerable with our emotions. We can even be vulnerable with our sin and know that that's how we bring [00:10:50] the dark to the light. We have to talk about it.

[00:10:52] Valerie: So yeah. So I think fear, I think lies. What else can keep us from taking 

[00:10:57] Denisha: that step? Well, and. On that topic as well. [00:11:00] You know, we think what you said, if they only knew. Well, can I tell you that when we sit in a room with other women who want to be on the healing journey as well, [00:11:10] everybody in there is thinking the same thing.

[00:11:12] Denisha: Can we just take that off the table right there? Yeah. Everyone in the room feels like if they only knew. Mm-hmm. And what's so beautiful about a [00:11:20] safe community is being able to say, Here's what I've endured. We realized in that that we are not alone. Once someone kind of breaks that open and is vulnerable, [00:11:30] it gives others permission in the room to do so as well.

[00:11:32] Denisha: So we all think that we all worry about what people think. Yeah. 

[00:11:38] Valerie: Yeah. But also, you know, I [00:11:40] think along with that fear, I think sometimes we just fear like, this isn't gonna work. Like I've tried everything I've done that I've been there and you know, I [00:11:50] think that goes back to what we're trying to put in perspective here, is that healing is a journey.

[00:11:56] Valerie: You know, I mean, I've been in counseling and it was. Beneficial. [00:12:00] But does that mean that I'm never gonna need counseling again, or that I'm never going to need to read that helpful book again? Or you know, it's like with scripture, right? We say, you know, God's [00:12:10]word is alive and active. We may read a verse one day and receive from it, but then the next day, God.

[00:12:16] Valerie: Illuminates something else we need to know. So I think [00:12:20] sometimes that fear are kind of almost like we just doubt like, is this really gonna work? I've tried everything. So that can also, I think, be a hindrance. And you know, [00:12:30] just also being afraid to take off the mask. Like we've talked about, we know here reclaim story, we encourage that you don't have to wear a mask, that we're all broken, we're all [00:12:40] struggling.

[00:12:40] Valerie: But I think we often do fear taking off that mask and showing who we really are and Yeah. So a lot of obstacles. A lot of obstacles. [00:12:50] That's so 

[00:12:50] Denisha: true. And wearing that mask that says, I'm fine, I'm good, you know. There's a cost to that. Mm-hmm. In order to put [00:13:00] on a mask, we have to turn away from something we have to push through and and settle to a life that is less than what God has for us in Jeremiah.

[00:13:09] Denisha: This [00:13:10] is such a neat passage, I think at chapter six, verse 14, and it's also repeated in Jeremiah eight. This says, they dress the wounds of my people as though they were not [00:13:20] serious. Peace. Peace. They say when there is no peace, and God is talking to the leaders of Israel and what he's saying is that they dress the wounds of the [00:13:30] people as if they're not serious.

[00:13:31] Denisha: That's what we do when we say, how are you? I'm fine. I'm good. Everything's good, but there is no peace. Things aren't fine and things aren't good. [00:13:40] How honest do we wanna be about our life? Yeah. Do we want to address our wounds and say peace, peace. Or [00:13:50] you just keep swimming, you know? Or do we want to actually invite the Lord on a healing journey with us and step into that with him and be [00:14:00] honest about our heart and our story?

[00:14:02] Denisha: I know for me, every time I said peace, peace where there was no peace, it was me shoving something that had happened under the rug. Mm-hmm. [00:14:10] And as I got older, it was about my late thirties, early forties. I kept like tripping and I'd fall and I'm like, what is that now? Not really, of course, but like I would make mistakes or I'd [00:14:20] be stuck in these patterns or loops or decisions.

[00:14:22] Denisha: And I'm like, what is going on? And what I realized is all of the things that I had been shoving under the rug, In my life [00:14:30] and saying it's peace. Peace where there was no peace. Later on in our life, we begin tripping over that rug, and that I believe is an invitation to invite [00:14:40] God in to begin the healing journey.

[00:14:42] Denisha: Yeah, 

[00:14:43] Valerie: so why heal? Right? We've talked about why we don't take the steps toward healing, but [00:14:50] what are the benefits for healing? And one of the things I like to focus on is that we will find freedom. Mm-hmm. When we take those steps toward healing, we will [00:15:00]find freedom to be who God has created us to be. You know, I know a lot of women talk about, you know, I don't know what my purpose is.

[00:15:08] Valerie: You know, and I think [00:15:10] wounds. Can make us doubt that, you know, wounds or things that have been said to us or said about us. But when we begin to heal, we begin to see the purpose we were created [00:15:20] for and to really step into who God has made us to be. I learned this definition of. It was actually kind of referring to the church, but we are the [00:15:30]church.

[00:15:30] Valerie: Church is not a building church's people, so if you're a believer in Christ, you are the church. And I love what this says. It says, we are a people filled with the Holy Spirit's, [00:15:40]power and presence, given a purpose and called to a specific time. And place. So you know, when we're caught in that [00:15:50] suffering in the wounds, then that's when we doubt like what is our calling?

[00:15:53] Valerie: What is our purpose? And so that can cover that up. But when we begin to heal, we see that [00:16:00] revelation of who God has called us to be and for what purpose he has called us to. So I love that, that we are a people set aside for a purpose in calling, and [00:16:10] that's why we need to heal, for God to reveal that. And boy, isn't 

[00:16:14] Denisha: it true that past suffering can really reveal our purpose or our calling?

[00:16:19] Denisha: Hmm. [00:16:20]

[00:16:20] Valerie: Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes we're always asking, why? Why did I have to go through that? Mm-hmm. Why did I experience that? And then we go, how 

[00:16:27] Denisha: funny, 20 women in my life have come to [00:16:30] me with this exact same situation. Yeah. So sometimes that past. Suffering reveals 

[00:16:34] Valerie: are calling. Yeah, exactly. But I think too, it's when we start to realize, like you [00:16:40] were talking about tripping over that rug, sometimes we're not aware of what we need to heal from or why we need to heal, but one of the kind of the warning signs could be [00:16:50] that, you know, our responses, our reactions are not matching reality.

[00:16:55] Valerie: You know, maybe you overreact to somebody. Touching you in a [00:17:00]certain way on the shoulder or in that triggers you back to something in the past. Or sometimes you have a, like an over exaggerated or angry or some kind of response that just doesn't [00:17:10] match the present moment. And that can be like, okay, yeah, there's something triggering me.

[00:17:15] Valerie: And that could be another warning side of like, yeah, I need to heal from this. You [00:17:20] know, why heal to fulfill our dreams and goals? Danisha, you know, again, I've had so many women, and even myself, I've said, okay, I have this dream, but I just don't [00:17:30] feel I can get there. I feel stuck. I see this dream, I see this goal, but why can I get there?

[00:17:36] Valerie: Well, that's another. Sign that, yeah, I need to heal. Why [00:17:40] heal so that God can start speaking his dreams and his desires over you. What else? Danisha, what else can you think of that? Why do we heal? Why should we heal? [00:17:50]

[00:17:51] Denisha: I think one thing that comes to mind is hurting people. Hurt people. Hmm. Right. So when we have wounds that are not tended to in our story, yeah.

[00:17:59] Denisha: We [00:18:00] can hurt other people, but healed people, help other people heal. Yes. And so I think just healthy relating to others is really important too. Yeah. And [00:18:10] just so many new possibilities. When we begin to view ourselves, our life, our story, through a different lens of healing. That we find hope in that and a sense of [00:18:20] strength.

[00:18:20] Valerie: Yeah, we highlight stories of transformation on our website because you may not have gone through the same circumstances and details, but you can understand low self-worth [00:18:30] or maybe addiction or anxiety, and so that's why we heal. We heal to have that sense of belonging and community that I have a story.

[00:18:39] Valerie: And [00:18:40] my story could be shared and help somebody else. That's what we want you to hear very clearly, is that healing is a journey. And like we've talked about, that [00:18:50]tension of life, that we are wounded and healing, that, you know, we still carry the scars of our past, but we can integrate, you know, what we have [00:19:00] learned and how we have healed into our present.

[00:19:02] Valerie: And that's what the importance of healing is, that it's a journey that we're wounded in healing and. You know, our wounds are not [00:19:10] always self-inflicted, right? I mean, we've talked so much that we live in a broken world. We were born into a wounded world. And so it's not [00:19:20] only arson, but the sin of others who have brought pain, you know?

[00:19:25] Valerie: But Jesus wants us to bring that to him. And you know, as we've talked about, when we engage in [00:19:30] our stories and we begin our healing journey in a safe place with other people, that we can be real with those wounds in our story. Begin to heal. And I [00:19:40] love also, we've talked about psalms. I love this verse, Psalm 1 47, 3.

[00:19:44] Valerie: It says He heals the brokenhearted. You know, that's a promise right there that you can [00:19:50] clinging to is that he will bring healing. He heals. God, heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. And when God binds up our [00:20:00] wounds, there really is peace. It's not just a bandaid. It is a lasting healing peace.

[00:20:09] Denisha: When you said Band-Aid, [00:20:10] you reminded me of something that Susan said. Mm-hmm. Um, as I was talking to her recently as we're planning this conference and getting ready to launch, uh, her material for mm-hmm. Healing, [00:20:20] and I asked her, I said, why, why do you think it's important to heal? Mm-hmm. And I'm gonna kind of summarize what she said.

[00:20:25] Denisha: I took some notes on this, but it was so good. And she said, I [00:20:30] believe that we should begin the journey of healing because many of us are unsure about how to live this life. That we become swept away by what comes next, by people's [00:20:40] expectations, by perspectives that we've been given even in church that we keep going, not sure in our hearts how we should be living and responding to life.

[00:20:49] Denisha: And she [00:20:50] said that part of the reason that we're unsure is because we've been putting band-aids on things. We've been turning the corners and making quick decisions, putting that mask on, trying to do the [00:21:00] next right thing in a hope that everything comes out okay. But deep inside we don't have that feeling of contentment, of wellbeing, of clarity and peace of who we are and [00:21:10] who we are to the people around us, and I just love that, as she mentioned that she says it's a challenge, right To, mm-hmm.

[00:21:16] Denisha: There's a challenging task in beginning to join the [00:21:20] journey of reversing a little bit. Pulling those band-aids off, letting go of those quick decisions and identifying what has not been working for us. And then [00:21:30] gently and slowly we can reclaim, we can make choices that take us in a direction that is safer, that carries less doubt and less stress.

[00:21:39] Denisha: And I [00:21:40] love that. And she was saying in there also that when we do that, when we pursue healing in the places that we've been wounded, That that is a way that we can get [00:21:50] out of the same old patterns and live in the fullness that God promises us. I was 

[00:21:54] Valerie: thinking about Jesus and we've used the word trauma a lot in our ministry and, and [00:22:00] now suffering, but you know, Jesus really was the first person to minister in a trauma-informed way.

[00:22:06] Valerie: I love this because he knew people's stories, [00:22:10] right? Sometimes. We experience pain and suffering because we have had the lack of an empathetic witness in our life. And Jesus was that I love that Jesus was that [00:22:20] empathetic witness to the bleeding woman, to the crippled woman, to the woman caught sin. He was a empathetic witness.

[00:22:26] Valerie: And he said, come, you will find healing and I [00:22:30] will be with you. And so we want to invite you again to be with us. Join us in this journey of taking that first step toward [00:22:40] healing your story. 

[00:22:41] Denisha: So this month we invite you to join the journey, and there's a few different ways, as Valerie said, to join us at the conference.

[00:22:49] Denisha: If you're in [00:22:50] Tucson, to join a small group, which we will be, um, opening up small groups the end of June, uh, for registration and depending on how many people we have, um, we are also going to [00:23:00] have for sure a group over Zoom. So wherever you are in the world, we would love to invite you to join the journey.

[00:23:07] Denisha: And if you're thinking, you know, I think this sounds good. [00:23:10] But I'm not quite ready yet. Right? I was there for a really long time. I was tripping over the rug going, I'm not picking that thing up. But if you're there, if that sounds familiar to you, [00:23:20] just keep tuning in. We hope to encourage you. Um, everything that we are learning, we just wanna pour right back out into you.

[00:23:26] Denisha: That is our hearts, that we would be able to help women [00:23:30] find hope and healing after a painful past through a vibrant relationship with Jesus. And that's the key, right? The key is that relationship with Jesus because we know that he is our [00:23:40] comforter and he is our healer. So we will see you again in two weeks as we invite Susan Hoecker to come on the podcast, and we'd love for you to get to know her.[00:23:50]

[00:23:50] Denisha: She has quite the incredible story and ex. Experience with ministering around the world and inviting people to join the healing journey with her. So we'll see you same [00:24:00] time, same place in two weeks. Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation and maybe even feel a little less alone in your [00:24:10] story.

[00:24:10] Denisha: Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at Reclaimed story. Wanna learn more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our growing [00:24:20]community of Reclaimers? Check out our website@reclaimedstory.com. All of those links and more will be in the show notes. And if you enjoy this [00:24:30] inspirational podcast, be sure to subscribe, rate and review.

[00:24:33] Denisha: Not only will you be the first one to know when new content comes out, but it is also a huge help in [00:24:40] helping us reach more people to live the reclaimed flight.