What To Do When You Are Worried & Anxious ~ Anne Imboden Ep. 102

If you struggle with worry and anxiety, you are not alone.

Between things like financial pressure, health problems, job stress, relational conflict, and more, it can feel like anxiety is a way of life. But your mind matters to God, and He wants more for you. How can fixing your mind on Him impact your mental health?  In this episode, we will talk about what it looks like to seek God for healing of our anxious minds.

If you are struggling with crippling or debilitating anxiety and need professional help, click HERE to find a Christian counselor in your area.

To hear more from Anne and connect with her, you can find her at her blog, www.gloryinthegrind.com.

Anne also mentioned a great children's book called "Jonathan James and the WhatifMonster" by Michelle Nelson-Schmidt. You can find it on Amazon. 

Here are two FREE Ebooks for you!
1. Shame Off You: 10 steps to shattering shame in your life, HERE.
2. ABC's: CLICK HERE for a FREE E-book to help you combat lies and replace them with God's truth.  For more encouragement, check out some of our offerings at www.reclaimedstory.com

Did you know we have a jewelry line that speaks to your identity in Jesus? CLICK HERE to shop. Every purchase helps support our mission to provide healing and hope to women worldwide.

Would you partner with us to spread the message of hope and healing? You can DONATE HERE.  Living the Reclaimed Life is a Reclaimed Story, Inc. podcast, An Arizona non-profit corporation.

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Transcript

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[00:00:00] Valerie: If you struggle with worry and anxiety, you are not alone between things like financial pressure, health problems, job stress, [00:00:10] relational conflict, and more. It can feel like anxiety is a way of life, but your mind matters to God and he wants more for you. How can [00:00:20]fixing your mind on him impact your mental health?

[00:00:23] Valerie: In this episode, we will talk about what it looks like to seek God for healing. Of our anxious minds, [00:00:30]

[00:00:30] Anne: welcome to Living the Reclaimed Life podcast. I'm Danisha. We're glad you're here for conversations that revive hope, inspire healing, and encourage you [00:00:40] to live a vibrant life with Christ. So grab a cup of coffee as we chat with today's guest.

[00:00:47] Valerie: Welcome back to another episode [00:00:50] of Living the Reclaimed Life. This is your guest host, Valerie, and today we are continuing our focus on mental health as we dive into the topic [00:01:00] of anxiety and how it can affect us relationally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. How can we guard our hearts and minds [00:01:10] from becoming overwhelmed with worry and anxious thoughts?

[00:01:14] Valerie: And what are some tools we can use to calm ourselves in stressful situations? [00:01:20] How can we have peace in knowing our mind matters to God? And how does God care for us in the midst of our anxiety? Joining me today [00:01:30] for this conversation is Anne in Boen. Anne is a writer, speaker, pastor's wife, and adoptive mother of two.

[00:01:37] Valerie: She is a frequent guest writer for us here at the [00:01:40] Reclaim Story blog, and you can also find her witty and Weiss take on life over at her blog, Lori in the Grind, where she seeks to make God famous [00:01:50] through the humble lessons found in life's daily grind. And welcome back to our podcast. I'm so glad to have you with us today.

[00:01:59] Anne: It's good to be here, [00:02:00] Valerie. Good to see you again. 

[00:02:02] Valerie: And we just wanna start off with a little disclaimer. Unlike our last podcast where we talked with Dr. Chet Weld, we [00:02:10] want you to know that Anne and I are not healthcare professionals or counselors. We are so thankful for those that are. And so today we're gonna be focusing on Anne's personal story, [00:02:20] how she's been affected by anxiety, and how her relationship with God has impacted her journey.

[00:02:27] Valerie: So we want to encourage you that if you are [00:02:30] struggling, With crippling anxiety or debilitating anxiety that we wanna encourage you to seek professional help, and we will have links to resources for that in the show notes. But again, I am [00:02:40] so glad you're here to share with us. I know that through your blog and even on the podcast, I always appreciate how honest you are and how vulnerable you are, and [00:02:50] especially.

[00:02:50] Valerie: With our audience being able to share your personal story. So why don't you start us off by sharing how your experience with worry and anxiety has [00:03:00] impacted you as a woman, as a wife, as a mother, just in life. Yeah, 

[00:03:04] Anne: absolutely. So the first time I ever really experienced anxiety was in college, and that was specifically [00:03:10] social anxiety That rattled me.

[00:03:11] Anne: I think it was just triggered by being thrust into independence at such a young age. I was only 17 when I started college and went to a school out of [00:03:20] state and just not knowing how to cope with all the changes. And so my mental default was to avoid situations in where, in which I didn't feel confident or prepared.

[00:03:28] Anne: But in an adulthood, [00:03:30] I've walked through seasons. Just entrenched in worry, like when my husband and I were in the process of seeking adoption for our children, we were matched with multiple birth mothers who didn't [00:03:40] follow through for one reason or another. And after the first couple matches fell through, I developed some trust issues.

[00:03:45] Anne: And with every new birth mom we met, I was overwhelmed with thoughts of, well, [00:03:50] what if, what if she changes our mind? What if the baby isn't healthy? What if. I walked through seasons of financial stress, you know, constantly worried about the amount of debt that I had accrued and how [00:04:00] I was gonna make ends meet.

[00:04:01] Anne: I'd lose sleep over it. I hid my financial indiscretion from my husband for a long time, and I was constantly paranoid and agitated, and I lived in fear of [00:04:10] being found out. So a lot of what ifs were keeping me up at night. And then since being married, you know, we've moved three times each to a different state and the stress that comes with an [00:04:20] out-of-state move is extreme.

[00:04:21] Anne: And I worried my way through it each time. I was anxious about how we were gonna pay for all the expenses. Mm-hmm. I was anxious about our things arriving [00:04:30] intact at our new house. I was worried about how my kids would adjust, you know, to their new school and make friends and. Anxious about my husband starting a new job and on, and I just felt immense pressure to [00:04:40] uphold my family through all the change.

[00:04:42] Anne: And I think that's something a lot of women can relate to, you know, that. Feeling like we have to be the strong one. And then finally last year my [00:04:50] husband resigned from his job due to his own battle with depression and anxiety and burnout. And we had no income for six months. So I was worried about how we'd make, you know, how are we gonna make due?

[00:04:59] Anne: And [00:05:00] more than that, I worried about my husband's mental health, you know, and wanting to take care of him and wanting to make sure that he was gonna be stable, you know, for us and for our 

[00:05:08] Valerie: family. [00:05:10] How did that worry and anxiety 

[00:05:12] Anne: flesh out? A lot of it was lack of sleep. You know, I would, that's usually when our mind starts to race, you know, is when our [00:05:20] body is quieted down and we don't have the distractions of our day-to-day things anymore to, you know, to.

[00:05:25] Anne: To keep us busy. So when I'd lay in bed at night and all I had was me and my [00:05:30] thoughts, and that's when I would sort of spiral and I would lose a lot of sleep. I think even just during the day, even though I was busy and I was, you know, making lunches for the kids, I was, you know, [00:05:40] doing my schoolwork, I was running errands, doing all the things I was supposed to do and still functioning.

[00:05:44] Anne: I just felt like very weighed down. Um, someone described it for me once as like, you're carrying a [00:05:50] backpack filled with stones and every stone represents. Something you're worried about, something you're anxious about, and you know, after a while, like one or two is fine. And we [00:06:00] all have just kind of little things that we fret about from time to time, but they start to pile up and then that weight just really, it gets hard to carry.

[00:06:08] Anne: And I think I really did feel [00:06:10] physically weight down. I just felt heavy, you know? My heart just felt heavy and I was just always in a funk, you know? And I didn't feel like I was. [00:06:20] Engaging with my kids and with my husband, cuz my mind was so distracted. My mind was somewhere else. I, in my mind, I was worrying and fretting and, you know, thinking about the future, thinking about [00:06:30] all these different things that I couldn't control and I wasn't being present.

[00:06:35] Valerie: I think all of us can relate to at least something that you've mentioned. I mean, like I said, [00:06:40] financial pressure, relational, emotional, circumstantial, I mean just life and moves and all of that. I know I've experienced some of that, [00:06:50] especially as we've been said, we would focus on the spiritual kind of aspects of, and the emotional aspects of anxiety, like as you were kind of spiraling or you [00:07:00] know, being distracted in that anxiety.

[00:07:04] Valerie: What lies started to implant that you know, kind of hindered you or made you [00:07:10] feel stuck from feeling like, okay, is there hope that I'm going to overcome this constant worry and anxiety? I. 

[00:07:17] Anne: Well, in college, you know, for years I couldn't [00:07:20] articulate my social anxiety in a way that others or even I could understand.

[00:07:24] Anne: I didn't know how to explain it to my friends or my coaches, my professors, that the idea of being around new [00:07:30] people paralyzed me. And I think the enemy used that to tell me that it wasn't real. That if I couldn't explain it, then it was probably just all in my head. And the enemy told me that no one would understand.

[00:07:39] Anne: [00:07:40] No one would empathize. With my anxiety and then in adulthood, like whenever I worried about the future, about our finances or about my family, I felt guilty for not trusting God [00:07:50] enough to take care of it. You know, I'm a Christian woman, I'm a pastor's wife. I should have faith that can move mountains, you know?

[00:07:56] Anne: Or the should. Right. The should, right. Should, exactly. [00:08:00] So I would think, you know, my faith isn't strong enough, and the enemy used that doubt that I had in myself and manipulated it into doubting God. And soon I wasn't questioning my [00:08:10] faith, but I was questioning God. Like, what if he doesn't provide? What if he doesn't protect my kids?

[00:08:15] Anne: What if I lose my husband to depression? What 

[00:08:17] Valerie: if, what if? And did you ever [00:08:20] start to feel just shame? Like you said, you felt some guilt, but I know in this podcast, in our ministry, we talk a lot about shame, that it becomes not of like, [00:08:30] oh, I made a mistake, but man, I am just a bad mom, a bad wife. I. I'm a bad Christian.

[00:08:36] Valerie: I mean, what was that like for you? Did any of that kind of seep in [00:08:40] that experience of shame, where it started to affect your identity and Yeah. Shame is 

[00:08:46] Anne: a big part of my testimony, especially where the social anxiety was concerned [00:08:50] because I couldn't explain it and I didn't know how to identify it. I felt embarrassed by it, and so I would cover it up with lies.

[00:08:58] Anne: You know, I would try to, [00:09:00] Excuse why I didn't show up for class. You know, why I, you know, I would cope with my shame, but then by overspending, you know, shopping, retail therapy. Mm-hmm. And [00:09:10] then I couldn't explain that in a way that I thought anyone would understand. So I would lie about that too. And pretty soon it was just a web of lies and even I didn't [00:09:20] know how it had all started.

[00:09:22] Anne: And so that, yeah, that was big for me. Shame led to other sin issues in my life because I wasn't. [00:09:30] At a point where I was ready to confess and admit that, hey, this is a real struggle for me and I need help with this. Instead, I would try to control it [00:09:40] and by controlling it I would sin, and then I would feel ashamed of my sin.

[00:09:44] Anne: You know? So it would just, you know, a domino effect. It started with something as normal [00:09:50] as anxiety, but when it doesn't feel normal and you don't think anyone else is gonna think that's normal. Yeah. You do everything you can to cover it up. Yeah. And to try to, [00:10:00]Present yourself. Like you've got it all together.

[00:10:02] Valerie: Yeah. And what has been helpful, I mean, as you've talked about, I mean obviously like just even last year you've moved again and [00:10:10] as you know, as moms and just, I mean, even if you're not a mom, just, you know, whatever responsibilities you have in life, they all, because we [00:10:20] live in a broken world, they all can be potential triggers.

[00:10:23] Valerie: For worry and anxiety. So what has been a turning point for you? I mean, how have you coped? [00:10:30] How have you, what tools have you used to not allow anxiety, worry, kind of the stressors of this world to, [00:10:40] to, you know, send you back into, so to speak, that pit of lies and shame and despair? Yeah, 

[00:10:46] Anne: recovering from social anxiety in particular, and the damage [00:10:50] it had done in my life took years, but it started with confession, and so when I finally surrendered my social anxiety to God, I had the courage to seek out a [00:11:00] trusted friend and ask for help.

[00:11:02] Anne: I. She listened with patients and understanding, and she encouraged me to talk to my husband and then to get professional counseling. I did, and over time I was able to [00:11:10] rebuild trust in my relationships. Counseling in particular in that instance, helped me unpack my anxiety. I had to get to the root of it to understand why it was a struggle for me in the first place.[00:11:20]

[00:11:20] Anne: But in general, I think just putting words to where anxiety is the best way to heal. It can be done with a counselor, a friend, or in a journal. I often release my worry through worship.[00:11:30] There are so many wonderful worship songs out there that focus our surrender, you know, focus on surrendering our anxious hearts.

[00:11:36] Anne: But the most important step for me is putting those worrisome words that I have [00:11:40] into prayer. And you know, a thought that I always say is, surrender is the antidote for worry. Mm-hmm. And so, even when I pray, Just literally having a [00:11:50] posture of surrender, keeping my hands open to the Lord, palms up open. So whether I'm listening to a worship song or I'm taking a walk, or you know, and whenever I am trying to.[00:12:00]

[00:12:00] Anne: Release that anxiety. I physically put myself in a posture of surrender and also an exercise I've found fraying has been to just write down those lies that [00:12:10] Satan wants me to believe on individual pieces of paper. All those worst case scenarios that are spiraling around in my head. I write them down and then I throw those paper [00:12:20] into the fire or into the shredder or whatever it is you have available, and I just watch them burn into ashes and then to replace.

[00:12:27] Anne: Those, you know, those worries that have [00:12:30] burned. I write a new list mm-hmm. Of God's truth and I post those truths around my home in visible spaces. So when I'm tempted to listen to the lie, instead I'm faced with the [00:12:40] truth. You know, and the Bible says that God bestow on us a crown of beauty instead of ashes.

[00:12:44] Anne: And I just love that symbolism of turning the enemy's lies into literal ashes by throwing them into the fire and trusting that God's [00:12:50] gonna make them beautiful. There's a book that I read to my kids called Jonathan James in the What If Monster. It's a fun little children's book and it's about a little boy who's, you know, um, he [00:13:00] avoids trying anything because he has a little monster that follows him around everywhere and he plants doubt in his mind.

[00:13:05] Anne: He wants to climb a tree. Well, the monster says, well, what if you fall? You know, he wants to join a group [00:13:10] of friends on the playground. Well, what if they make fun of you? You know, he wants to try out for the team. Well, what if you're no good? And at the end of the book, Jonathan James turns those what ifs around.

[00:13:19] Anne: And he says [00:13:20] to his monster, but what if I make a new friend? What if I win that race? What if I succeed? And I just love that cuz I think of the enemy's voice is that what if Monster and God's voice is the one [00:13:30] who's turning those what ifs around into something good. Any speaking courage and hope into our anxious hearts.

[00:13:36] Anne: Mm-hmm. And that's what replacing those [00:13:40] worries with God's truth is 

[00:13:41] Valerie: like. Oh wow. I think I'm gonna look up that book as a children's book author. I'm like, yes, that's, I need that. [00:13:50] I need that book. Yes. So those are such good tools, Anne. I mean, I'm writing them down even as you speak. I've done that and I've encouraged other women to [00:14:00] do that.

[00:14:00] Valerie: Especially the lies, you know, writing the Lie and. Replacing it with the truth. I mean there's so much power in that. I wanted to go back cuz you mentioned something [00:14:10]about putting words to your anxiety. Can you share more about that? Cause I thought that was really interesting what you were talking about and what that looks like.

[00:14:18] Anne: I feel like, I mean, I'm a writer, [00:14:20] so words are, that's my, you know, cathartic Yeah. Thing anyway. Like it's a good outlet for me. Whenever I'm feeling stressed or worried, writing it down is just helpful to me. [00:14:30] But I also think, at least for me, Putting them into like verbal words or even words on a page, it gives them less power because when they're in our head [00:14:40] and we keep them in our head and we don't tell anybody, you know what?

[00:14:43] Anne: You know, all that's swirling around in there. Yeah. It's very easy for the enemy to get control [00:14:50] of our mind and to turn those little simple worries into absolute mountains that. And sometimes when we're able to take those [00:15:00] worries and put them on paper, we realize how small those words really are. Like that word doesn't have power, it's just a word.

[00:15:07] Anne: But in our head, it feels like a living, [00:15:10] breathing thing. But when you put it on paper or when you speak it out loud and you have someone listening who can give you perspective to go, that's actually not as bad as you're making it [00:15:20] out to be. You know? Or someone who can say, but you know, okay, play it out.

[00:15:24] Anne: What if that really does happen? Would that really be so bad? Or how would you handle it? You [00:15:30] know? And you can lessen the power. Of those worries, because when you write it down or you say it out loud, then you can go, okay, well there's a solution to that. If that does [00:15:40] happen, that worst case scenario, I'm imagining, here's how I would deal with it.

[00:15:43] Anne: Yeah, and you can, it feels more practical and feels more manageable. Yeah. When you put it. [00:15:50] Out there. And when you speak it out loud or you put it on paper, you say it to a friend, you say it to a counselor, and sometimes it just, you just need to unload that burden, you [00:16:00] know? And you carry it around in your head for so long and it just, ugh.

[00:16:05] Anne: Yeah. You just need to unload it. You need to offload it onto somebody else and let [00:16:10] somebody else help you. Let somebody else shed some fresh perspective. Yeah. On the anxiety in your 

[00:16:16] Valerie: mind. Yeah. That's so good. Well, it reminds me of just [00:16:20] like I said, bringing light to the darkness. Mm-hmm. The same thing.

[00:16:22] Valerie: Mm-hmm. You know, like our, you know, our minds only ourselves and God know what's going on in our minds, and we can, you know, just like if we speak the [00:16:30] name of Jesus, you know, speaking his name just dispels the darkness. So speaking the lies and. Insane. I love what you said, just how it loses its power. [00:16:40] And That's so true.

[00:16:41] Valerie: And you know we need God, right. We were not designed to handle everything on our own. And let's say that again, [00:16:50] right? Yes. As women, yes. We could not design to handle everything on our own and Right. I was. Thinking of a couple scriptures [00:17:00] too, in preparation for this podcast. And in the Old Testament, you know, God's people were attacked by their enemies.

[00:17:07] Valerie: Right? And we can feel like we are [00:17:10] being attacked on all sides. I know for me that can be a trigger with anxiety. It's just feeling like, So much is going on and like I'm getting like arrows, so to speak, from all [00:17:20] different directions. Mm-hmm. And in second Chronicles, 2012, God's people were being attacked.

[00:17:25] Valerie: And I love this. It says for we have no power to face again, we have no [00:17:30]power right To face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do. But our eyes are on you. And I find myself saying that a lot. [00:17:40] Like, I don't know what to do, you know? But we feel like we have to know what to do, but we right simply saying, God, my eyes are on you.

[00:17:48] Valerie: You know, my focus is [00:17:50] on you. And he cares. You know, he cares so deeply for our struggles. And I love what Craig Rochelle says. He says, if it's on your mind, [00:18:00]It's on his heart. You know, sometimes I think you even said that we can feel alone and we can start to feel isolated and ashamed because of our anxiety or guilt from [00:18:10] that, or we should know this.

[00:18:11] Valerie: We should do this. And just to remember that God cares, he cares. What's on our minds, and he wants us to confess that to [00:18:20] him, to surrender, like you said. And Isaiah 26, 3 says, he will keep in perfect peace, those whose thoughts are fixed [00:18:30] on him. And you talked about that weight. Well, when we fix our thoughts, our eyes on God, then that's like he takes that weight, he takes it.

[00:18:38] Valerie: And have you [00:18:40] ever struggled just as a Christian with feeling like anxiety is a sin? That's 

[00:18:46] Anne: another why the enemy has fed me is that, [00:18:50] you know, if you're feeling anxious or you're feeling worried, it means you're not trusting God enough. You know? Then you must not be trusting him to take care of it. Cuz if you truly trusted him, then you [00:19:00] would have peace about this.

[00:19:02] Anne: You know, you wouldn't be worried, you wouldn't be worried about sending your kids off to school. You know, when there's school shootings happening all over the country, you wouldn't be worried [00:19:10] about, you know, your husband being left alone when he is. Inep, you know, has depression. You wouldn't be worried about, you know, your daughter take, getting her driver's license [00:19:20] test and being out there as a new driver.

[00:19:21] Anne: None of that should worry you, right? If you're a Christian because God's got it and you're, those kids are God's kids before they're yours. Your [00:19:30] husband is God's child before he's your husband. You know, like that's how we're supposed to feel, right? As Christians and so, yeah, absolutely. I [00:19:40] think I do feel, yeah, I have struggled with guilt or feeling like, man, I.

[00:19:44] Anne: Do I just need a boost of face? A face, sorry. Haven't had my coffee. [00:19:50] A boost of face, you know, and I, 

[00:19:53] Valerie: well, I love, I just even studying about this, I read and it was just so helpful for me because I [00:20:00] know I have struggled with that. That guilt of like, okay, anxiety, I shouldn't be anxious. I believe in God. But I love, I read this, it says that anxiety is not a [00:20:10] sin, it's a signal.

[00:20:11] Valerie: Mm-hmm. It's a signal indicating something needs attention. Yes. And I don't know, just even reading that and, and preparation for this podcast, [00:20:20] just like relieve so much burden. I mean, we live in a broken world. It's like right. So if we were in the garden and we would be in perfect peace, you know? But [00:20:30] like Isaiah says, he will keep, we know Jesus will keep us in perfect peace, whose mine he is our peace.

[00:20:36] Valerie: He is with us. He cares for our anxious thoughts. But I [00:20:40] love that as it is a signal indicating. Something needs attention. And if you look at Jesus, Jesus was anguished to the point of sweating [00:20:50] drops of blood. Yes. Before he was about to face the cross. Now, if Jesus was. Fully human, fully, God anguished to the point, and [00:21:00] I'm so glad I haven't sweated drd of blood.

[00:21:02] Valerie: That would probably create more anxiety. Like the idea that he was so anguished, you know, but, and [00:21:10] he even, like you said, he surrendered, like that was a way that he was able to face what was bringing him such anxiety [00:21:20] and anguish is because he surrendered and said, not my will. But your will be done. And so to me that gives me so much comfort that, you [00:21:30] know, we are going to be anxious, we are going to be depressed, we are gonna struggle with worry.

[00:21:34] Valerie: And God understands that because mm-hmm. Jesus was there. I mean, I'm sure he, I. [00:21:40] Felt feelings of depression when he was abandoned by the people that spent three years with him side by side and anxiety over like, wow. Like I know I'm supposed [00:21:50] to face this, but can I do it? And of course he's like, no, I need the father.

[00:21:54] Valerie: I need surrender. Right. And you know, we can have so many multiple stressors. And I wanna have a [00:22:00] conversation a little bit with you, Anne, cuz you mentioned about prayer and I think. There's many things, but I wanted to focus a little bit in our conversation about three, three specific things that [00:22:10] can help calm our anxious minds, and that is prayer.

[00:22:13] Valerie: And what have you found, and like in your time with the Lord when you've been the most anxious, what are some of those [00:22:20] prayers you have prayed? What are some of those desperate prayers you have prayed to God? What does that look like? Yeah, I mean, well first 

[00:22:28] Anne: of all, I wanna agree with everything you just said [00:22:30] because you know, I agree.

[00:22:31] Anne: I think anxiety or worry really is a signal, and I think it's a call to surrender. That's how I view it, because as women, at least for me, I'm a control freak [00:22:40] and I like to have all my ducks in a row and I like to have everything listed out and planned. And I think that's a lot of women, especially those of us who are managing a family and a career and all these different [00:22:50] place spinning, we have to have, have some sense of control.

[00:22:53] Anne: And when we worry and we're anxious, It's because we don't feel in control about something. [00:23:00] Right? Yeah. And so it's a call for the Lord, you know, the Lord saying, okay, you need to release control. Guess what? You're not in control. God is [00:23:10] yes. You know, and you're right, Jesus worry too. And I think of all the verses in the Bible that talk about anxiety and worry, like, I mean, those wouldn't be there if we weren't supposed, if it [00:23:20] wasn't.

[00:23:20] Anne: Affected for us to be, you know, to be facing that. Yeah. Yeah. He knew we were gonna be worried. He knew we were gonna feel anxious. That's part of life. That's part of being a mother. It's part of being a [00:23:30] wife. When you care about something so deeply, you're gonna feel worried about it. When you feel like that whatever it is you love, you'll is threatened.

[00:23:37] Anne: You know, that's a very normal natural [00:23:40] emotion for a woman, and the Lord expected it. You know, in this world you will have trouble. Yeah, but take heart. I have overcome the world. So [00:23:50] things I have prayed. Yeah. First of all, like when I feel so consumed with worry or anxiousness that I don't know what to pray.

[00:23:57] Anne: I enlist my community to pray for me. [00:24:00] I reach out to my friends, my family, my husband, even my kids are wonderful little prayer warriors. And when I'm feeling worried or sad or upset about something, I ask them, you know, will you please pray for [00:24:10] mommy today? Like, my heart just feels heavy, like I feel really worried about something.

[00:24:13] Anne: And can you pray for me when you, when I don't have the words even to pray for myself or I don't know what to say, [00:24:20] I recruit my prayer warriors. And that often helps so much. They speak like you're saying, like speaking Jesus over our worry, they speak Jesus over my worry and [00:24:30] anxiety on my behalf. Mm-hmm.

[00:24:32] Anne: And you know, I talked about having that backpack on of Rs. Each rock represented worry. Sometimes we're not strong enough, you know, to unload [00:24:40] that backpack ourselves. Sometimes we grow really attached to the rocks in our backpack and we don't wanna give them up. You know, we're used to the weight. We don't even feel it anymore.

[00:24:47] Anne: We don't think we're so used, you know, so [00:24:50] it's so normal for us to carry that around. And sometimes we need a friend to come alongside us and go, this is not okay. Your posture is completely, you know, like you are [00:25:00] carrying all those extra weight. You don't need to be doing that. And we need a friend to unzip that backpack and start unloading those rocks for us.

[00:25:06] Anne: And a lot of times, again, if I don't have the words to articulate it myself, I don't know [00:25:10] what. What is causing that unrest in me? I just know that I'm not at peace. I'll just pray through scripture. And you mentioned some really wonderful verses and I wrote those down [00:25:20] as well cuz I'm gonna add those to my list.

[00:25:22] Anne: But like one for me is first Peter five, six, humble yourselves, therefore, and under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up and do time. Cast all your [00:25:30] anxiety on him because he cares for you. And there's a reason I included the verse before that, cause I think we all know that cast all your anxiety on God and.

[00:25:38] Anne: Seems easy enough, right? [00:25:40] It's not easy. It's not easy to surrender that, but to humble yourself first. That's the first step in that. And again, that goes back to me being that control [00:25:50] freak. Like I have to first admit that I am not in control. Yeah. I have to first humble myself before the Lord and say, I don't know what I'm doing [00:26:00] here.

[00:26:00] Anne: I can't handle whatever it is that's on my plate, and I need you to relieve me of it. And that's hard for women to do. It's hard for women to say [00:26:10] like, I don't, I can't do this by myself. You know? I don't have it all together. Yeah. Yeah. And then the other one is Matthew 6 25 and 27, along with 33 and 34.

[00:26:19] Anne: Therefore, I tell [00:26:20] you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink or about your body. What you will wear is not life more than food and the body more than clothes. Look at the birds of the air. They do not [00:26:30] sow or reap or store away in barn, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they.

[00:26:35] Anne: Can any of you by worrying at a single hour to your life, but seek [00:26:40] first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow. For tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day [00:26:50] has enough trouble of its own. And gosh, I just, that's that Scripture is so freeing to me, and that's a really good one for me to just pray [00:27:00] through and use that as my prayer.

[00:27:03] Anne: Lord, help me not to worry about my life. Help me not to worry about what tomorrow is gonna bring or how you're gonna provide. Or [00:27:10] are we gonna be able to pay that bill or, you know, whatever it is. Like you take care of the birds. You know, and so of course you're gonna take care of me. Of course you are.

[00:27:19] Anne: And the [00:27:20] finalist Philippians four, seven, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Jesus Christ. And sometimes peace is not something that we can [00:27:30] understand. It's something that it has. It only comes from God. I can't put myself at peace on my own like that.

[00:27:36] Anne: That's a supernatural thing. I [00:27:40] can't just shut my mind off and go, okay, I'm gonna stop worrying about this. I'm gonna put it all in a box. We can't just compartmentalize and shut that off and go, I'm not gonna worry about that right now. [00:27:50] Yeah. And so we have to somehow manage, we have to still, you know, get through our day and how do we have peace?

[00:27:58] Anne: It's not something we can do for [00:28:00] ourselves. Only God can give us that. 

[00:28:02] Valerie: Yeah, I love what you said. We can't put ourselves at peace, right? And Jesus is the prince of peace. Peace is a [00:28:10] person, you know? So no wonder we can't put ourselves at peace because we can't embody peace. Like Jesus is the embodiment of peace.

[00:28:17] Valerie: And so by receiving Jesus, and yes, [00:28:20] peace can be always with us, but yeah, we have to surrender and receive and acknowledge. Jesus, you're my peace. You know, be my peace. There's a quote by [00:28:30] Dr. Caroline Leaf that says, I find this fascinating. It has been found that 12 minutes of daily focused prayer over an eight week [00:28:40] period can change the brain to such an extent that it can be measured on a brain scan.

[00:28:46] Valerie: I was like, wow. Wow. Like, I mean, the good news with that is our brains are [00:28:50] not fixed. Like we can renew our minds, right? Scripture talks about we can renew our minds and you know, I think in our culture, I don't know about you Anne, but I've thought of this about this a [00:29:00] lot that, you know, stress, busyness, and you can even add anxiety to that.

[00:29:04] Valerie: It's almost become this cultural norm where we just. We just accept it. Like, oh yeah, [00:29:10] everybody's anxious, everybody's worried. But you know, and it can be so natural for us to focus. But given that quote, I mean, that says something about prayer. Like prayer is supernatural. [00:29:20] Like it can break the cycle. And I think that is what can give us hope.

[00:29:24] Valerie: And I love how much you have brought in about. You know, recruiting people, because [00:29:30] I want to speak to that. Like sometimes we are just sometimes so weak and unable to pray or to take the steps we need to take, which is why we've talked about [00:29:40] professional help. But we talk about that a reclaimed story a lot.

[00:29:43] Valerie: Having that trusted community, that trusted person that you can say, I can't do this. Like, will you pray for me? Will [00:29:50] you pray with me leading somebody like saying, okay, repeat after me. I mean, like, That can be so powerful and prayer is so powerful. But I wanted [00:30:00] to kind of go into another thing I think we can do, and that is pause.

[00:30:04] Valerie: And even though I'm not a professional by any means, I've learned just [00:30:10]in the work I've done with reclaimed story, just some of the things we can naturally do. That can regulate our nervous system and our bodies and that can be breathing and just [00:30:20] pausing, right? Like when we start to feel that spiral.

[00:30:23] Valerie: And I know I get like that where I start to physically feel, you know, my head is tight, my stomach's upset, and [00:30:30] just simply pausing. And as moms are, you know, if you have little ones and just say, Hey, mommy needs to go take a break. I'm just gonna go walk outside and [00:30:40] just pausing. And it makes me think of.

[00:30:43] Valerie: The scripture that calls us to be still right. Mm-hmm. That God doesn't always ask us to do something, but [00:30:50] just to be still and that he will fight our battles. And do you have a certain experience, Anne, where you could share with us a time where you realized that you [00:31:00]just had to stop being in control and be still, and that you really saw God fight your battle?

[00:31:08] Anne: Yeah, I would say last year when my [00:31:10] husband was, you know, had resigned and was unemployed, and I mean, that obviously was not a. For the moment decision. That was something we prayed about for a long time and we knew was necessary for his health. [00:31:20]And even though like I knew, okay, this is what he needs to do, I also knew, but we don't have a plan for when, for after he resigns, you know?

[00:31:27] Anne: And this is the first time we've ever made a big life decision without a [00:31:30]plan of what we're gonna do next. And that rattled me. But I also had one of my best friends said, she said, I think this could be the best thing that ever happened to you, the [00:31:40] best thing for your relationship with the Lord because, This is the first time where you have completely said, Lord, I don't know what's gonna happen.

[00:31:47] Anne: This is all in your hands. But we are [00:31:50] trusting you. We know you're calling Zach to resign. We know that for sure, but that's all we know. You haven't told us anything about what's gonna happen after that. [00:32:00] And she was absolutely right. That was the best thing. And as much as, yes, I, you know, had to. Take cap of those thoughts of like, okay, but what are we gonna do for money?

[00:32:09] Anne: And how are we [00:32:10] gonna explain this to the kids? And how are we, you know, like, where is he gonna interview? Is he gonna try a different career? Or how much time does he need before he goes, starts looking for a job again, all those different things, [00:32:20] but man, I had such a sense of peace for that entire six months, a peace that I truly cannot explain, and I had so many friends.[00:32:30]

[00:32:30] Anne: Connecting with me and calling me and checking in. How are you doing? Are you okay? Are you freaking out? Are you worried? How's Zach doing? Are you guys totally, you know, anytime we talk to somebody, so do you [00:32:40] know what you're doing yet? Do you have a plan? You know, and everyone else was worried for us and for reasons we couldn't explain, God had just completely put us at peace and just [00:32:50] go, and we just said, it's all gonna work out.

[00:32:52] Anne: I don't know. You know, he's not gonna let us fall. He's not gonna let us. Go bankrupt. He's not gonna let [00:33:00] you know, Zach end up working at a McDonald's. Like, we're not gonna get to that point. God's gonna take care of it. I don't know how. I just know that he is, and that is the first time in my entire [00:33:10] Christian life where I feel like God just really swooped in and gave me this supernatural piece that I still can't explain it.

[00:33:17] Anne: Mm-hmm. And it was the biggest [00:33:20] leap of faith my husband and I have ever taken, but the reward was so good. Because six months later we were called back into ministry and now we're thriving. Hmm. [00:33:30] And I will forever look back at that season and go, okay, if God got us through that, we can get through anything.

[00:33:37] Anne: Mm-hmm. You know, like nothing. I mean, [00:33:40] gosh, if God is for me, who can be against me, look what he did for us. Look how he provided, you know? Yeah. So that's a [00:33:50] big part of our story now, and I'm so, so thankful and it absolutely changed. My relationship with the Lord in all the best ways, and I'm far more motivated to [00:34:00] surrender now because I know what he can do is surrender.

[00:34:03] Anne: And I've learned that man not, you know, compare. I can control things and I can make my life work out pretty good when I've got the [00:34:10] rings, but when God takes the reigns, it's so much better than I could have ever imagined. And so it's always worth it. It's always worth it to surrender as hard [00:34:20] as it is.

[00:34:20] Anne: He's shown me that man, the reward is so good. 

[00:34:25] Valerie: So, and I love what you said about, I am more motivated to [00:34:30] surrender and that goes back to how God, Indeed works the good through everything because sometimes it's like we, we struggle like [00:34:40] with finding meaning and suffering and pain and the waiting, and it's like just the fact that in your faith, now that you are more motivated to surrender, [00:34:50] I mean that is huge.

[00:34:51] Valerie: That is huge for your relationship with God. So praying and being still and then praising. This can be something [00:35:00] that can be so challenging, right? Is to be praising God, worshiping God in the waiting, praising him before we get the answer, before we get the victory. [00:35:10] And we can. Thank God. We can. Thank God.

[00:35:12] Valerie: For what he is going to do. Even if it, even if we don't know what that's going to look like. And I think it's [00:35:20] interesting how many times in the Old Testament especially, I mean, look at Jericho, when they were called to walk around the city, what were they doing? They were worshiping, they were praising, they were [00:35:30] shouting.

[00:35:30] Valerie: You know, they weren't making a plan about, okay, when the city falls, God, This is what we're gonna do. It's like they were worshiping and praising, knowing the battle belonged [00:35:40] to God, and they were expecting the miracle, expecting the victory. So during this time that you were waiting and that you were [00:35:50] surrendering, what did that practically look like for you on a daily basis?

[00:35:54] Valerie: To praise God, to thank him for the victory that was to come. I mean, you mentioned a few things, but [00:36:00] Yeah. But what was your rhythm of praising him? 

[00:36:03] Anne: I think it was looking for the good. And every day Yes. Was, you know, walking through unemployment hard. [00:36:10] Yes. Was having no direction or no clue as to whether we were done with minister full-time ministry or not.

[00:36:16] Anne: That was so hard, but, [00:36:20] The church that we resigned from did not make it weird or awkward for us. We continued to attend that church every Sunday. We maintained our relationships. My [00:36:30] husband was able to get rest and refreshment that he hadn't had in 20 years of ministry. He was able to be home and be present with our kids, [00:36:40] be there for them every day.

[00:36:41] Anne: After school, he was able to. Go out and take walks and enjoy the sunshine and you know, just all those, there were so many little gifts in the [00:36:50] waiting. What we were waiting for was a new job and a relocation and you know, like the big things. But in the meantime, God was gifting us with all of these little things, [00:37:00] and we just had to have our eyes open to see it.

[00:37:03] Anne: You know, we were very honest with our two young children about what depression is, what anxiety is, you know, like when your mind [00:37:10] gets sick. Sometimes you can't control that. They learned that and they absolutely have an understanding of depression and anxiety now, and that's not a word that we throw around [00:37:20] lightly in our house.

[00:37:20] Anne: You know, like you said, anxiety has become such a norm and you know, you see memes about it and you know, All these things on Facebook and it's, everyone's joking around [00:37:30] about their level of anxiety. We don't do that in our house because we knew it's a very real thing. And the lessons my kids learned from that, even the patients they learned, you know, like they were [00:37:40] watching us, you know, and we were in this limbo as a family and they were watching how our faith was being formed and the questions we were asking.

[00:37:47] Anne: And you know, if we had [00:37:50] worried and fretted and felt panicked about what's gonna happen next, or that would've absolutely. You know, spilled out over onto our children. And so it was a [00:38:00] really wonderful season for us as a family, and we grew as a family so much, and all four of us grew in our faith. And so that's what praise looks like to me.

[00:38:09] Anne: [00:38:10] When you're being forced to wait, you know, when God's keeping you in a holding pattern, what can you do in the meantime? What can you see that he's doing? You know, what gifts is he [00:38:20] giving you in the meantime? And what can you see around you that you can praise him for? 

[00:38:25] Valerie: Yeah. Yeah. Back to that scripture.

[00:38:28] Valerie: It's like, I don't know what to do, but my [00:38:30] eyes are on you. So looking for God in all those moments. So, so good. Well, Anne, this has been so good, and I know we're kind of wrapping up our [00:38:40] time together today, but I always like to ask our guests who come on, especially since with reclaimed story, we want women to feel like they're not alone.

[00:38:49] Valerie: We [00:38:50] want. People to feel like, Hey, everyone struggles and there is no shame and struggle. And you even talked about sitting across from a friend and having [00:39:00] that friend. Help you unpack the weight. So if you were sitting across from a friend, from a woman who came to you just almost [00:39:10] in shame over the battle she was facing of daily consuming worry and anxiety, what would you encourage her with?

[00:39:19] Valerie: What would you [00:39:20] leave her with? Yeah. 

[00:39:22] Anne: Yeah. I think I would just remind them like the point I've been making is that surrender. It's the antidote for worry, the best thing you can do. [00:39:30] When you are feeling consumed by your worries to surrender, to release it. And you know, if they're not strong enough to do that themselves, if they're not able to put that worry [00:39:40] into words themselves and as their friend, as a fellow per, you know, as someone else who has walked through that road, I can do that on their behalf.

[00:39:46] Anne: I can sit before them and hold my hands open. You know, [00:39:50] I could unload their backpack and say, This weight is too much for, you don't need to carry this anymore. Let me take it off your, let me take it off your shoulders [00:40:00] and let me surrender it on your behalf. Speaking Jesus over their worry, over their anxiety.

[00:40:07] Anne: And then on a more practical note, you know, [00:40:10] walk through those things that they're worried about. Okay? You're worried about, you know, not making ends meet. All right? What would happen, you know, if the paycheck doesn't come? You know what [00:40:20] could happen and let's have an action plan and let's walk through that and maybe we'll see as we talk through it and walk it out, that you don't have to be so worried about that.

[00:40:29] Anne: Sometimes it [00:40:30] helps us to know that, okay, even if the worst happens, I've got something I can do. You know, I have a way I can handle it. Or I have people who are willing to jump in and help me if that [00:40:40] happens. And so I don't need to be afraid of that and you know, to help take the power away. From their worry, just by letting them talk it out and walking [00:40:50]through all those worst case scenarios.

[00:40:51] Anne: Yeah, 

[00:40:52] Valerie: and maybe read the What If Monster book with them. Yes.[00:41:00]

[00:41:03] Anne: What if the mechanic says everything's fine on your card. You 

[00:41:08] Valerie: the what if, the what was [00:41:10] actually nothing. No, that's so, so good. Yeah. Well, Anne, thank you for joining me today. It has been an absolute joy to, [00:41:20] to talk with you. I have learned just from hearing your story and just some. Things you've shared that have been helpful for you.

[00:41:27] Valerie: I know. I think I'm gonna implement [00:41:30] some of those things too in my life. And so thank you. Thank you for being here with us, and thank you for tuning in. We pray you have [00:41:40] experienced hope and received encouragement to take the steps you might need to take care of your mental health. And have peace [00:41:50] of mind.

[00:41:50] Valerie: We'll see you next time on Living the Reclaimed Life. 

[00:41:54] Anne: Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation and maybe even [00:42:00] feel a little less alone in your story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at Reclaimed Story. Wanna learn more about living a reclaimed life and [00:42:10] how you can be a part of our growing community of Reclaimers?

[00:42:13] Anne: Check out our website@reclaimedstory.com. All of those links and more will be in the show notes. [00:42:20] And if you enjoy this inspirational podcast, be sure to subscribe, rate and review. Not only will you be the first one to know when new content comes out, but it is [00:42:30]also a huge help in helping us reach more people to live the reclaimed life.[00:42:40]