Trigger Warning: In this episode we will be addressing depression and suicide. If this is something you are struggling with, we want you to know that help is available. To find a professional Christian counselor in your area, click HERE.
If you are having suicidal thoughts or know someone who is, you can get help by calling the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - #988
Many suffer from depression every day. In fact, it is estimated that 5-7 % of adult Americans and 15% of those aged 12-17 have been diagnosed with depression. And some, if not all of us, will experience feelings of depression at some point in our lives.
But what do you do when feelings of depression start to turn into an everyday consuming reality? When is it time to seek help, and what truths can you cling to that will give you hope in the midst of the battle? In this episode, we will address some of the root causes of depression as well as provide helpful ways for you, or someone you may know, to experience hope in the midst of despair.
You can order your copy of Dr. Chet Weld's new book God Is In The Crazy: With Astounding Miracles and Reflections on the Peaceful Life HERE.
Here are two FREE Ebooks for you!
1. Shame Off You: 10 steps to shattering shame in your life, HERE.
2. ABC's: CLICK HERE for a FREE E-book to help you combat lies and replace them with God's truth. For more encouragement, check out some of our offerings at www.reclaimedstory.com
Did you know we have a jewelry line that speaks to your identity in Jesus? CLICK HERE to shop. Every purchase helps support our mission to provide healing and hope to women worldwide.
Would you partner with us to spread the message of hope and healing? You can DONATE HERE. Living the Reclaimed Life is a Reclaimed Story, Inc. podcast, An Arizona non-profit corporation.
If you would like to connect with a safe group of women doing real-life together, join our private Facebook page, “Living the Reclaimed Life” or on Facebook or Instagram
Trigger Warning: In this episode we will be addressing depression and suicide. If this is something you are struggling with, we want you to know that help is available. To find a professional Christian counselor in your area, click HERE.
If you are having suicidal thoughts or know someone who is, you can get help by calling the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline - #988
Many suffer from depression every day. In fact, it is estimated that 5-7 % of adult Americans and 15% of those aged 12-17 have been diagnosed with depression. And some, if not all of us, will experience feelings of depression at some point in our lives.
But what do you do when feelings of depression start to turn into an everyday consuming reality? When is it time to seek help, and what truths can you cling to that will give you hope in the midst of the battle? In this episode, we will address some of the root causes of depression as well as provide helpful ways for you, or someone you may know, to experience hope in the midst of despair.
You can order your copy of Dr. Chet Weld's new book God Is In The Crazy: With Astounding Miracles and Reflections on the Peaceful Life HERE.
Here are two FREE Ebooks for you!
1. Shame Off You: 10 steps to shattering shame in your life, HERE.
2. ABC's: CLICK HERE for a FREE E-book to help you combat lies and replace them with God's truth. For more encouragement, check out some of our offerings at www.reclaimedstory.com
Did you know we have a jewelry line that speaks to your identity in Jesus? CLICK HERE to shop. Every purchase helps support our mission to provide healing and hope to women worldwide.
Would you partner with us to spread the message of hope and healing? You can DONATE HERE. Living the Reclaimed Life is a Reclaimed Story, Inc. podcast, An Arizona non-profit corporation.
If you would like to connect with a safe group of women doing real-life together, join our private Facebook page, “Living the Reclaimed Life” or on Facebook or Instagram
Transcript is auto-generated
[00:00:00] Valerie: Many suffer from depression every day. In fact, it is estimated that five to 7% of adult Americans and 15% of [00:00:10] those aged 12 to 17 have been diagnosed with depression, and some, if not all of us, will experience feelings of depression at some point in our [00:00:20] lives. But what do you do when feelings of depression start to turn into an everyday consuming reality?
[00:00:27] Valerie: When is it time to. Seek help [00:00:30] and what truths can you cling to that will give you hope in the midst of the battle. In this episode, we will address some of the root causes of depression, as well as provide helpful [00:00:40] ways for you or someone you may know to experience hope in the midst of despair. Welcome
[00:00:47] Dr Chet: to Living the Life Pod.
[00:00:48] Dr Chet: Cast, I'm [00:00:50] Danisha. We're glad you're here for conversations that revive hope, inspire healing, and encourage you to live a vibrant life with Christ. So grab a cup of coffee [00:01:00] as we chat with today's guest.
[00:01:02] Valerie: Welcome and thank you for joining us here for another episode of Living the Reclaimed Life. Once again, it is Valerie, your [00:01:10] guest, host, and content and ministry coordinator here and in this episode we are kicking off our focus on mental health.
[00:01:18] Valerie: May is mental health [00:01:20] awareness month. So in the next two episodes, we will be addressing two of the most common mental health struggles, depression. And anxiety and sharing with you [00:01:30] truth and encouragement to help you hold onto hope and experience God's peace even in the midst of these struggles. And to help us navigate this important [00:01:40] topic today is our guest, Dr.
[00:01:41] Valerie: Che. Well, Dr. Chet Weld has been a marriage counselor in therapist here in Tucson, Arizona for 40 years. And a [00:01:50] pastor for 25 of those years. He's the author of a recently published book called God is in the Crazy, a book that's all about miracles that God is [00:02:00] doing today. He earned his doctorate in counseling psychology and he counsels at Joshua Tree Counseling.
[00:02:08] Valerie: Thank you for joining me today, [00:02:10] Che. I'm so glad
[00:02:10] Dr Chet: you're here. Thank you for having me, Valerie. It's wonderful to be here and just to be a part of what Reclaimed story is doing for so many people. Thank
[00:02:19] Valerie: [00:02:20] you. Well, we want to begin today talking about emotions because we know God made us and we also know He created our emotions [00:02:30] from sad to glad to everything in between.
[00:02:34] Valerie: But Chet, what do we do when we start having negative or depressing [00:02:40]emotions? How do we go about validating and labeling our emotions yet keeping in mind that they aren't permanent?
[00:02:47] Dr Chet: These are great questions, Valerie, because if [00:02:50] we don't deal with our. Emotions. They're only buried alive, and they have a great example for you.
[00:02:56] Dr Chet: About 50 years ago, there was a housing complex. [00:03:00] Tires kept popping out of the ground in this complex, and as it turns out, the housing complex was built. On a landfill and there were [00:03:10] tires in the landfill. And so 10 years later, tires started popping out of the ground because the movement of the earth popped tires out of the ground.
[00:03:19] Dr Chet: It's the same [00:03:20] thing in our lives with emotions. As time goes on, those emotions will come to the surface or they'll express themselves sideways, so to speak, like [00:03:30]sideways anger or, or self harm. Or in other ways, but they do have to be dealt with. And I like those words that you use too. Validating [00:03:40] and labeling, because we need to realize our emotions are valid.
[00:03:44] Dr Chet: Meaning that if anyone else had been through what we'd been through, they'd feel just like we [00:03:50] do. So there's no shame in having depression or in any other emotion and to actually label our emotions. That's helpful too. [00:04:00] Sometimes depressed people speak of a cloud or a blue cloud that comes over them, and that really doesn't help them get a handle on the thoughts they're [00:04:10] thinking or how they're defining their problems.
[00:04:12] Dr Chet: So it's good to label the sadness that's getting on you or the guilt. Or the fear or the [00:04:20] anger. Jonas's anger at God let him into depression. Elijah's fear led him into depression. If they had labeled the anger or the fear ahead of [00:04:30] time, they may not have gotten into the depression, so they didn't deal with the feelings that were leading up to it.
[00:04:35] Dr Chet: So if we're gonna label ourselves at all, rather than say like, [00:04:40] I'm a depressed person, I do hear that a lot. The best label that we can put on ourselves is Child of God. When we remember that we're going to be more [00:04:50] likely to pray, and prayer is one of God's gifts to help us get victory. In any area of our life, including Valerie, when we're depressed, [00:05:00]and that's
[00:05:00] Valerie: so true, Chad.
[00:05:01] Valerie: Prayer. I know for me, it's helped me experience God's presence. And I think when we are depressed sometimes, right? We don't know what [00:05:10] to do, but we can sit and be quiet and experience God's presence and know. That we're not alone. Isn't that the truth? That we're not alone? Yes. And [00:05:20] I love Psalm 46. One says, God is our ever-present help.
[00:05:24] Valerie: And I think that is so important to remember when we're experiencing these different emotions, is that help is [00:05:30] right with us. That God is with us. But Chet, as we're talking about depression specifically, what are some truths about depression and what [00:05:40] are really some misunderstandings out there?
[00:05:42] Dr Chet: Well, here's some truths.
[00:05:44] Dr Chet: Someone said, be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. [00:05:50]And almost everyone gets depressed at different times in their lives. I mean, life is just too crazy or imperfect not to get depressed now and then. Right? And the [00:06:00] truth is, we can have victory over depression. Those are truths, right?
[00:06:06] Dr Chet: Some lies. Let's see. Something is wrong with you. [00:06:10] That's a big lie. And that depression defines who you are. Like you're a depressed person. That's a lie. Our identity is what God says it [00:06:20] is. Child of God, loved unconditionally by God, watched over by God. So I am not my depression. I hear that a lot in counseling.
[00:06:29] Dr Chet: I'm a [00:06:30] depressed person, you know. People sometimes really own that. I hear that a lot. It's better to conceptualize the depression as the depression that gets on us. [00:06:40]When we can picture the depression getting on us, that gives us more power to research how we're allowing it to get on us.
[00:06:48] Valerie: So, [00:06:50] When we think about depression, and like you said, some people can sometimes just casually say, oh, I'm depressed today.
[00:06:59] Valerie: And [00:07:00] maybe because their sports team didn't win or something went bad right there. People say, well, I'm just depressed today. But then we also know that depressed feelings can become an [00:07:10] all-consuming reality. So Chip, why don't you talk to us about. What causes depression? There are
[00:07:16] Dr Chet: so many causes of depression, Valerie, and I wish we could [00:07:20] cover all of them, but we can break the causes down into some main categories, and I'm thinking of four main ones.
[00:07:26] Dr Chet: Biological is number one, let's say, [00:07:30] and much of this is beyond our control. Chemical imbalances, chronic pain, nutritional issues, hormonal changes such as those a [00:07:40] woman has after having a baby. Or someone with a bipolar disorder, that's an extreme chemical imbalance, lack of sleep, other [00:07:50] biological contributors.
[00:07:52] Valerie: And would you say Che, I was just thinking about this with the biology part. Would you say that. [00:08:00] That is easy or hard to figure that out on your own.
[00:08:03] Dr Chet: That is really hard to figure out on your own when it's you that has the imbalance, you may think it's a whole [00:08:10] number of things and there's a bias that many people have against medication because they don't believe in a chemical imbalance, you know?
[00:08:16] Dr Chet: But Adam and Eve, Their brain chemistry was [00:08:20] perfectly imbalanced. So why wouldn't God want our brain chemistry to also be imb? So sometimes medications will accomplish that purpose, [00:08:30] and also when medications do that, then the counseling takes better. Mm-hmm. Because if people can think clearly, then when you're counseling them, they absorb what you're saying [00:08:40] and what you want them to do or what you suggest to them.
[00:08:42] Dr Chet: Yeah.
[00:08:43] Valerie: No, that's good. I'm glad you mentioned that because I think it can be a stigma for a lot of people. Even [00:08:50] in Christian circles.
[00:08:51] Dr Chet: Even in Christian circles. Can I still see that? Yeah. Yes. But there's no, should be no stigma to it at all. Yeah.
[00:08:57] Valerie: So what about [00:09:00] relationships and conflict that can encourage relationships?
[00:09:03] Valerie: How can that be? A cause for
[00:09:05] Dr Chet: depression. That's definitely one of the four categories, and there's generally [00:09:10] no healing outside of relationships. So though relationship issues are the cause of much depression, positive relationships are a [00:09:20] big part of the cure. God created us to be in relationships and when things happen, like betrayal, rejection, divorce, a [00:09:30] pandemic.
[00:09:30] Dr Chet: We all know about that isolation. That's when a natural reaction is sadness and grief. And when grief isn't handled [00:09:40] properly, that can turn into depression.
[00:09:43] Valerie: Well, and that's an important point. Check cuz we've been doing a few podcasts on grief. And so what do you mean by not [00:09:50] handled properly?
[00:09:51] Dr Chet: Well, That means that we ignore the feelings or we stuff them.
[00:09:55] Dr Chet: We might turn them into bitterness. We might hold on to unforgiveness, but [00:10:00] rather than identifying the emotions and admitting them and looking for how to heal, then the stuffing of them and turning them into other things, [00:10:10] that's not handling them well.
[00:10:12] Valerie: Wouldn't you say that chemical imbalance, if you have that type of issue, can.
[00:10:18] Valerie: Be the cause of [00:10:20] relational turmoil and conflict?
[00:10:21] Dr Chet: Yes, definitely. For example, 25% of all people are introverts. Just naturally, they're more quiet. They get the energy from [00:10:30] being alone. They don't talk as much, but when they do, they tend to be more profound. But if you have a chemical imbalance, you might not want to talk to anybody at all, and it might not have [00:10:40] anything to do with the fact that you were created to be an introvert.
[00:10:43] Dr Chet: Okay. But the person that's in the middle of that may even be thinking, well, I'm just a quiet person [00:10:50] anyway. I'm an introvert. When the fact is they're depressed and they're shutting down their emotions and they may not even realize it.
[00:10:57] Valerie: Yeah, that's such a good point. So what could [00:11:00] be some other causes?
[00:11:01] Valerie: We've talked about biological, chemical, relational dynamics. What are some other causes? Some other
[00:11:06] Dr Chet: causes? Okay. I'm circumstantial. I got a call [00:11:10] a few nights ago from a friend in another state who suffered an unexpected and a traumatic loss in her life. In this imperfect world is full of tribulations as we know.
[00:11:19] Dr Chet: [00:11:20] Jesus said In the world you'll have tribulation, but be of good shear for I have overcome the world. But tribulations are just part of living in this world. So things [00:11:30]happen to us. Death loss. Any kind of trauma from early childhood on life changes, empty nest [00:11:40] retirement. Of course, these can be life-changing setbacks and they can be temporary too, but not always entirely.
[00:11:48] Dr Chet: Temporary. And they can The [00:11:50] good news though, the good news, they can turn into stepping stones of personal growth when we make that a priority, and especially when we focus on God and what he [00:12:00] can do in our lives and in the difficult circumstances, and what we can do too, I mean, we can pray, we can read God's word, we can step [00:12:10] into each day.
[00:12:10] Dr Chet: As hard as that is each day that's full of. Possibilities. And keep in mind too, that feelings always follow actions never the other [00:12:20] way around. We just can't sit around and isolate and expect to feel better. We really do have to do things differently. And then the feelings follow the
[00:12:28] Valerie: actions. And so [00:12:30] you mentioned prayer and God's word, and so.
[00:12:33] Valerie: When thinking of the categories we talked about before, I that could be spiritual, right? You got it. We live in a [00:12:40] broken world, as you said. Yes. We're not in the Garden of Eden, so our circumstances, sometimes the difficult and hard circumstances we deal with are result of the [00:12:50] fall and sin, so, so how can.
[00:12:53] Valerie: Depression manifests itself in our spiritual life.
[00:12:57] Dr Chet: Okay, well, depression can be caused by [00:13:00] unrelenting stressors that are best handled by exercising faith. You know, sometimes life is a spiritual battle. Life is full of them oftentimes every day, [00:13:10] fighting off the lives of the enemy or fighting personal battles with our vulnerabilities to certain sins, and standing in faith and fighting the good [00:13:20] fight is really important.
[00:13:21] Dr Chet: And what I mean, To, to find that further is it's important to feed our faith throughout the day as best we can to read or listen to [00:13:30] God's word, for example, to listen to Christian music. To tell God what we're grateful for. There are a lot of studies on the importance of thankfulness. Mm-hmm. So I tell [00:13:40] God what I'm grateful for.
[00:13:41] Dr Chet: Just often, many times throughout the day, like I'm so grateful for my eyes. I'm grateful that I'm walking around many things, of course, and praying for [00:13:50] others. That's important. The more God pours in, the more we pour out. There was a pastor that I knew many years ago, and he said a drop in a drop out [00:14:00] if God would drop.
[00:14:01] Dr Chet: Put a drop of his Holy Spirit in him, then he wanted to give that out to other people.
[00:14:06] Valerie: Yeah. Well, and Chad, I wanna bring up a point here [00:14:10] that I know we've talked about in other podcast, and I know a lot of the women that we minister to often have this question, and that is, You know, [00:14:20] should a Christian person be depressed and you know, what about the people that say, oh, well, all you need to do is have more [00:14:30] faith.
[00:14:30] Valerie: What would be your response to that, to somebody struggling with that as a believer and even maybe a shame or guilt they feel of like, oh, well, I [00:14:40] shouldn't be depressed, you know? What do I do with that? And then some of the judgment that people can receive sometimes from that. What's your response
[00:14:48] Dr Chet: to that?
[00:14:49] Dr Chet: My response [00:14:50] is it's definitely a lie that because you're a Christian, you should have more faith. This is a common thing that I hear because you're a Christian, you shouldn't be. Depressed, for example, [00:15:00] but we're subject to the result of the curse because of the fall of Adam and Eve. We're imperfect people.
[00:15:07] Dr Chet: The Bible says he knows how we are formed. He [00:15:10] remembers that we are dus, so of course we have vol. I call them vulnerabilities. It's better to call the things that you might say that you're struggling with is vulnerabilities rather than you're a [00:15:20] depressed person. Well, I have a vulnerability to depression, or I have a vulnerability to anxiety, or I have a vulnerability.
[00:15:26] Dr Chet: To this or that. Okay. And we all have them cuz we're all [00:15:30] human beings. So to say to somebody, there's something wrong with your faith. Yeah, they might be the most faith-filled people in the world. I've seen the most dis, incredibly [00:15:40] faith-filled people have serious problems as well as sicknesses. The Bible says he sustains us on our sicked.
[00:15:46] Dr Chet: Many other scriptures that speak of, you know, being [00:15:50] imperfect because we're just people and God understands the good news is God feels her pain. And who's with us.
[00:15:57] Valerie: That's why I like reading Psalms [00:16:00] so much because I'm like, I can relate so much to David. And if any book, if you don't know where to start in reading the Bible, I always say start with Psalms because I [00:16:10] feel like it's so easy to relate to David, who was called a man after God's own heart, yet wrestled with depression and [00:16:20] anxiety and vulnerabilities.
[00:16:22] Valerie: There's so many things that he was. Tempted to do and fell into temptation. Yet God redeemed him and God [00:16:30] was with him. And we talked about this at our last podcast of him saying, you know, my, my tears are my food and talking about his despair, but he [00:16:40] says, but yet I will still praise God so that both Anne, that we can be in despair and have doubt and be sad yet.
[00:16:49] Valerie: [00:16:50] Still praise God. And one
[00:16:51] Dr Chet: of my favorite scriptures along those lines is Ecclesiastes seven 18, which says it is good to grasp the one and not let go of the other. The man who [00:17:00] fears God will avoid all extremes, or the Hebrew of that is will practice them both. Mm-hmm. So a mature person can deal with paradoxes or opposites being true at the [00:17:10] same time, and.
[00:17:12] Dr Chet: Whether even someone who's a believer or not a believer, we face these things every day. Mysteries of life, uncertainties. There are [00:17:20] times that we have to believe both. We have, we hold onto faith, for example, but we hold onto, this is what I'm dealing with.
[00:17:26] Valerie: That's perfect, che, because this month our jewelry of the month is [00:17:30] our and bracelet, which I don't know that.
[00:17:32] Valerie: Yeah. Which Danisha designed because. It's meant to help us reflect on the tension of life. So you said it, you said [00:17:40] it perfectly. Thank you for that little commercial. Okay. No, that's perfect. Good. So Chet, as a Christian therapist, what other biblical truth [00:17:50] and wisdom would you speak to someone? You've already given us some great nuggets here, but for someone who is battling depression, who just fills there's no hope, [00:18:00] what other truth and wisdom?
[00:18:02] Valerie: Would you speak to them?
[00:18:04] Dr Chet: I think it's important to remember that when we hurt, God hurts too. One of my favorite scriptures [00:18:10] is Isaiah 63 17 in all our distress, he too is distressed and the angel of his presence saved them. He lifted them up and carried them all [00:18:20] the days of old. So in all our distress, he's distressed.
[00:18:23] Dr Chet: When we hurt, God hurts, but he wants to carry us through the pain. Also, keep in mind [00:18:30] how common the phrase is in the Bible and it came to pass. You do see that a lot of you know, so things come, but then they do pass. Sometimes helping [00:18:40] others in their pain is important. Not at first usually because we don't wanna just ignore our own pain.
[00:18:47] Dr Chet: But eventually once we're starting to get [00:18:50] some victories, then we can help others. I have a missionary friend who I'm reading her book right now, and her baby's life hung in the balance in a hospital in [00:19:00] Peru and in the waiting room, she ended up witnessing to people and leading a lot of people to faith in the Lord Jesus.
[00:19:07] Dr Chet: So that was an opportunity that she [00:19:10] saw. So sometimes helping others in their pain helps. And the Bible says that the word of God is at work in you who believe. This is a big encouragement to [00:19:20] me because memorizing scripture is a hobby of mine, and I find that the Lord brings them to mind because they're inside of me.
[00:19:28] Dr Chet: The Lord brings these [00:19:30] scriptures to mind just when I need them. Like John four. Four. Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world. And Psalm 118, 13, I was [00:19:40] pushed back and about to fall, but the Lord help me. And psalm hundred two 17, he will respond to the prayer of the destitute. He will [00:19:50] not despise their plea.
[00:19:51] Dr Chet: That goes back to God understands that we're human beings, and when we cry out to him desperately, that's the person that's more likely to get a [00:20:00] miracle in their life. He will not despise their plea. And Psalm 25 by King David. King David says, my hope is in you all day long. [00:20:10] And then right before that, it says, no one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame.
[00:20:14] Dr Chet: So David, you, as you were talking about earlier, he had times in his life many [00:20:20] times where he was just simply desperate for God. Well, God's heart goes out to desperate people and someone who could admit to themself that they're desperate for God is really a more [00:20:30] likely candidate for a miracle. So those are a few of the gems, I guess I would throw out to encourage people spiritually.
[00:20:36] Valerie: I love that what you said about God, here's the cries of [00:20:40] the desperate. I think about in Psalm two it says that he is near the brokenhearted. Yes. So there, there needs to be no shame. And we talk about shame a lot in this [00:20:50] podcast, in this ministry, and we want women to feel free from shame because God, of course, God is near to us.
[00:20:56] Valerie: Yes. When we're the most desperate and brokenhearted [00:21:00] and so Che. As a community here with reclaimed story, we often try to help people also know how to help others that may be going through [00:21:10] things like grief and anxiety and depression. So if we have a friend or family member or you know, somebody we work with, [00:21:20] if we know somebody who is battling depression, what would you say are some helpful?
[00:21:25] Valerie: Helpful, not hurtful, helpful, not hurtful, helpful, encouraging [00:21:30] things to say to those people.
[00:21:31] Dr Chet: I think the most important thing is to simply be with them, so don't feel under any pressure to fix them, cuz [00:21:40] they pick up that something is wrong with them if you're trying to fix them. So just be with them. Ask if there's anything that you can do for them.
[00:21:48] Dr Chet: Or even with them, like take a [00:21:50] walk or go to the park with them. Pick something up from the store, pray for them and pray with them. If they're open to that, ask if you can have others pray. [00:22:00] I've heard of people such as the woman I mentioned earlier whose child was in the hospital in Peru. She found out that there are groups of people from all over the world praying [00:22:10] for a young child.
[00:22:11] Dr Chet: And so ask if you want other people to pray for them because you can make that happen. Would they like to write in a journal? I [00:22:20] sometimes I suggest, I think it would be good for you to journal. And sometimes they want to show me what's in their journal. So you could ask them, how about journaling? And would you like me to discuss what you write in your [00:22:30]journal would, because people want to be known, frankly, Valerie.
[00:22:32] Dr Chet: Mm-hmm. And we all want to be known. Okay? So we write things down and then when we share, that's almost holy. It's something very precious. You're sharing a part [00:22:40]of yourself. In the journal in this example. So ask them if they would like to do that. Find a licensed Christian based counselor who knows how to integrate faith [00:22:50] with proven counseling principles.
[00:22:52] Dr Chet: A lot of people call them Christian counselors call themselves Christian counselors, but they don't really integrate the faith. With [00:23:00] their favorite counseling models. Maybe they don't know how, and they might be wonderful Christians too, but it's best to find a licensed Christian counselor or even a coach, someone that [00:23:10] you can relate to and that has knowledge and skill maturity that can help you.
[00:23:14] Dr Chet: Oh, that's good. You look basically for professional help for someone that has some know-how in the area. [00:23:20] Yeah,
[00:23:20] Valerie: for sure. Definitely. Yeah. Well, and we've. Touched on this topic and other podcasts, and I wanna make sure we touch on it a little bit today, [00:23:30] especially as this is mental Health Awareness month, and I know especially in our society now more on social media, you hear a lot more about [00:23:40] this and that's suicide, and so.
[00:23:42] Valerie: Che, why don't you share with us a little bit about what do we do if we ourselves are feeling suicidal or if we know [00:23:50] somebody is feeling suicidal? What is the best thing? Well, if you
[00:23:53] Dr Chet: know somebody, that's a good question. Of course. And if you know somebody that's suicidal, [00:24:00] that person should get help immediately and you, or they can call the nine eighty eight.
[00:24:05] Dr Chet: Suicide in Crisis Lifeline, just dial 9 88. [00:24:10] Okay. If you know someone like this, Also call the police. I've had times as a therapist where I've called the police on someone sitting in my office, you know, [00:24:20] or someone on the phone who wouldn't tell me certain things about like, where are you? You know? Well, finally when they tell me where they are, I'll call the police immediately.
[00:24:28] Dr Chet: Confidentiality goes out [00:24:30] the window with that. I'm here in Tucson. There's the CRC or the Crisis Response Center, or Palo Verde Mental Health. So it's good for someone who is suicidal to have [00:24:40] these resources in mind and that there are people out there that that want to help and be brave and make the call and realize that there's no stigma and that we all have these [00:24:50] times in our lives.
[00:24:50] Dr Chet: And even sometimes the suicidal feelings will come too. And it's good to keep in mind signs that someone may be suicidal or that you may be too. And [00:25:00] maybe that. The specific thoughts haven't been occurring to you, but some signs are, I'm talking about having no reason to live, talking a lot about I'd rather be in heaven.[00:25:10]
[00:25:10] Dr Chet: I would rather be in heaven, okay? But God wants us to do our best down here in this earth and give it our best shot. People are talking about being in unbearable pain [00:25:20] and increased alcohol or drug abuse. Being extremely anxious or agitated. These are signs withdrawing and isolating, you know, sleeping too much [00:25:30] or too little.
[00:25:31] Dr Chet: Extreme mood changes, for example, sometimes that someone that just has bursts of anger and they are angry people. So these [00:25:40] are basically signs. Well, and
[00:25:42] Valerie: I did have another question chat about that with just when we think about. Depression and like you said, when to know [00:25:50] when to get help. But what if there's somebody struggling with depression and they don't necessarily.
[00:25:57] Valerie: Feel they need to get professional [00:26:00] help, but you know, you can see that they're not doing well. Even people that are grieving and knowing like, okay, they've been grieving for a while, and they just seem stuck. [00:26:10] What do you feel is a gentle yet encouraging way to almost like help somebody know? I was just thinking of like if you're walking alongside somebody in a [00:26:20] friendship or relationship and you just see them struggling and struggling, but they don't seem.
[00:26:26] Valerie: Like they see that they're struggling. Like what? [00:26:30] Or even as a therapist, how do you gently and encouragingly kind of bring somebody to that awareness? You know, when they may not really be aware,
[00:26:39] Dr Chet: a [00:26:40] few ideas occur to me. It's good to give people a love sandwich. So you say something positive first, like you've been through.
[00:26:48] Dr Chet: This very difficult [00:26:50] experience and what you're still going through is very difficult to see that, and in many ways I think you're doing well. But I'll tell you, there are some ways that I notice that you don't seem to be doing [00:27:00] well at all. And then the other half of the sandwich might be, I really appreciate your, that you're even listening to me right now.
[00:27:07] Dr Chet: I'm so happy that you're my friend, you know? And so [00:27:10] if you'd give me permission to give you some input, could I give you some input right now? It's always good to ask for people to. If you can give them some input and usually they'll say, [00:27:20] yes, of course. Especially after the love sandwich. Well, okay. Well, I'd like to tell you, thank you for giving me permission to give you some input here, because I've noticed that when you did [00:27:30] this, or when you did that, or when you said this or when you said that, that didn't seem like you.
[00:27:35] Dr Chet: Okay. And you've trusted me for however many months or [00:27:40] years, you know, and I'd like you to trust me now that I don't believe that these words you've said or these things you've done really represent who you really are. And frankly, I'm gonna be [00:27:50] honest with you, I don't feel like I have the tools right now.
[00:27:53] Dr Chet: To help you. Okay? And I think some of my friends also would tell you the same thing, that we really [00:28:00] don't know what to do. Of course, we're going to be in prayer for you, and of course we'd love you so much, okay? But I'm hoping that you're going to trust me right now. You've trusted me at other times before in your [00:28:10] life, and I hope that you'll trust me right now when I say that these things aren't really lining up with who I believe the Rio you is.
[00:28:18] Dr Chet: I mean the real you that I know is [00:28:20] kind and confident and loving and positive or whatever you might have to say, okay, but these other things that I'm seeing are really signs to me of something else going on [00:28:30] inside of you that isn't helping you move forward with your life. And so my advice, and thanks for listening and I hope you take this advice, is to [00:28:40]talk to perhaps a professional counselor, someone that can really help you and someone who has a similar faith to what you do, someone that might encourage you in your faith.
[00:28:49] Dr Chet: [00:28:50] So just off the top of my head, those are things that occur to me.
[00:28:53] Valerie: That is so, so good because we talk about, and we encourage the women in our ministry, the women listening [00:29:00] to join our private Facebook group, our community online, which we wanna provide that safe place that these are people that are here to listen, to walk [00:29:10]alongside you.
[00:29:10] Valerie: But I know that is so important to be that safe person, to be that trusted person Yes. For somebody else. And that is so, so good the way you worded that [00:29:20] because it doesn't. Come across that we have all the answers, but that we care. That we genuinely care. And that, like you said, that you know, [00:29:30] God knows how he has made each of us.
[00:29:32] Valerie: And we can see that. We can see when a person, you know, who maybe was full of life is starting to isolate or [00:29:40] starting to just seem like they're losing hope. Mm-hmm. Or you know, when a person. Seems normally happy and you know, yeah, everything's fine. And then all of a sudden they're [00:29:50] acting in anger, so, so those are just so, so good points.
[00:29:54] Valerie: And I love that love sandwich. Oh yeah. Someone
[00:29:57] Dr Chet: told me in counseling, you mean an Oreo? [00:30:00] Yeah. I said, where'd you hear that? And he said, oh, we were at a marriage conference a couple months ago. Said, I like that better than love. Sandwiches. Oh, I still use Love sandwich. I like love
[00:30:09] Valerie: sandwich. Yeah. [00:30:10] Okay. Yeah, I like that.
[00:30:11] Valerie: Well, Chet, thank you so much for walking through a very delicate but so very important topic [00:30:20] when it comes to mental health and. For reminding us as we talked about, that God is not distant, that God sits with us in our [00:30:30] despair and in our pain. He hurts when we hurts and he's our ever-present help. I love how Jesus says that He is the way and the truth and the [00:30:40] life.
[00:30:40] Valerie: And I think about that as we think of God sitting with us, that he is going to lead us from darkness and to his wonderful. [00:30:50] Light. So thank you again, Chet. Thank you. Thank you for being with us.
[00:30:54] Dr Chet: It's been quite an honor and a pleasure, and even as you said with a delicate subject, it's [00:31:00] been, it's just been a meaningful experience talking to you today, Valerie.
[00:31:03] Dr Chet: Thank
[00:31:03] Valerie: you. Thank you. Well, thank you for joining us today, and we look forward to being with you [00:31:10] same time. Same place in two weeks.
[00:31:15] Dr Chet: Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation [00:31:20]and maybe even feel a little less alone in your story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at Reclaimed Story.
[00:31:28] Dr Chet: Wanna learn more about living [00:31:30] a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our growing community of Reclaimers? Check out our website@reclaimedstory.com. All of those links and more [00:31:40] will be in the show notes. And if you enjoy this inspirational podcast, be sure to subscribe, rate and review. Not only will you be the first one to know when new [00:31:50]content comes out, but it is also a huge help in helping us reach more people to live the reclaim flight.[00:32:00]