This transcript is auto-generated.
[00:00:00] Denisha: Do you ever find yourself wondering, what if? What if I follow that big dream that God has placed on my heart? Well, we're gonna have a conversation today about purpose, how to motivate ourselves, and getting rid of negative self-talk. Patty Lynn Wyatt is passionate about showing you how to move from here to there by being intentional with your uniqueness and maximizing your potential.
[00:00:26] Denisha: So if you wanna stop wondering what if and start embracing right now, this episode is, And as we come up to this Christmas season, would you let us be your. We have over 40 unique pieces of jewelry and journals each with words that speak to our identity. In Christ, it's stainless steel, so not only is it long lasting, but it's affordable, and all of our jewelry line proceeds help fund the Ministry of Reclaimed story, including this podcast.
[00:00:58] Denisha: So as one of our podcast [00:01:00] listeners, we wanna give you a coupon code to get 10% off your purchase from now until Christmas on our website, reclaim story.com. Use the coupon code RS 1 0 2. One that's reclaim story RS 1 0 21 to get 10% off your jewelry and journal purchase this Christmas free shipping in the us.
[00:01:24] Denisha: That's why we can be your Amazon and a handwritten note to speak truth into those you love. So pop by reclaim story.com and let us be your Amazon this Christmas. Let's kick off this episode with Patty Lynn. Wyatt. Welcome to Living the Reclaim Life podcast. I'm Danisha. We're glad you're here for conversations that revive hope, inspire healing, and encourage you to live a vibrant life with Christ.
[00:01:52] Denisha: So grab a cup of coffee as we chat with today's guest today. I am so [00:02:00]excited to hear about her passions. Patty helps people imagine their. And then how to get there and go there step by step. She is passionate about showing you how to move from here to there by being intentional with your uniqueness, and I think that is so fun.
[00:02:18] Denisha: Patty, we're so excited to have you today. You've been podcasting for like over a decade now.
[00:02:24] Patty: I have, I have, and now you're, you're kind of giving away my age.
[00:02:29] Denisha: Uh oh. Uh oh. No, I mean, we can start podcasting at like, there's YouTubers at like 12, right? ? Yeah. That, that
[00:02:35] Patty: was it. Danisha, that was it. at 12. Uhhuh,
[00:02:40] Denisha: they're making it early.
[00:02:41] Denisha: They're making it young and early, so you know. There you go. Yeah, over a decade in podcasting, my hat goes off to you. It's amazing to hear people's stories. It's amazing to be able to, you know, just be a part of the podcasting community and get messages out to the world and maybe ways we wouldn't be able to.
[00:02:59] Denisha: But it's [00:03:00] also a lot of work. So hats off to you doing that. We're looking forward to today to drop in some wisdom because I know our ladies. All want to know about how to maximize their potential. One of the things I just learned about you, Patty, I did not know that you are a trainer and consultant to Fortune 500 corporations and government agencies even such as the nfl, Oracle, the Army to the Navy.
[00:03:25] Denisha: You coach people to lead to their best potential and I'm so excited about that cuz that's what our ladies want as well. So this is gonna be, we're gonna have a fun conversation.
[00:03:35] Patty: Yes, yes.
[00:03:37] Denisha: Being a podcast host for the last decade, let's talk about your show. It's called Girlfriend it. How did you come up with that name?
[00:03:44] Denisha: Tell us a little bit about that.
[00:03:46] Patty: Well, girlfriend, it is, um, this is a long story, so go ahead and get your rocking chair out and, you know, get your hot coffee with. Lots and lots of creamer and we'll, we'll go through it. I'm an [00:04:00] advocate on experiencing God. I remember when I read that book, it was life changing to me on seeing where he's moving, whatever path you're on and seeing where God's moving and then jump into that path and.
[00:04:13] Patty: What happened for me is that I was going into Bible studies at my church. When I would go there, I didn't feel confident in bringing like my neighbors and my friends and I started asking my neighbors to come with me because my temperament, if you take the disc, I'm a ID where you, you have to be around people.
[00:04:37] Patty: And I, I don't do a whole lot by myself, which other people go, well, that's called codependent, but , it really is. You just,
[00:04:45] Denisha: it's called a party. It's a party looking for a place to happen. That's what that
[00:04:48] Patty: exactly, so I, I went to my neighbor and I asked her to come to the Bible state with me, and she goes, you know, Patty, I just don't feel comfortable.
[00:04:58] Patty: As a matter of fact, I don't even [00:05:00] know how to pray. And I thought, oh, oh, okay. I went to another one and they. No, I wouldn't feel, I would feel very uncomfortable. I don't even know the books of the Bible. I wouldn't know how to look up scripture. And so this kept happening to me and I realized, you know, God gives us those desires, right?
[00:05:19] Patty: And I thought, okay, I want to have the party. I want to study the Bible. So why don't. I just do it in my own house. So I went back to these people and I said, look, you don't have to know scripture we'll, we'll basically, you know, we'll go through and we'll learn it together. And my other neighbor, I said, I will help you.
[00:05:39] Patty: We'll learn how to pray together. So basically, I was saying, we'll have a book club, right, , but they all came and it started exploding. So we moved it to the park and the kids were able to play. And as. Took place. I realized that how do we have these, you know, these studies in these [00:06:00] life groups and community outside of the church walls.
[00:06:05] Patty: So I, I went to, at the time, um, well she still is the pastor's wife. We connected and I said, what are you passionate about? And I realized we both had the same passion of there are a lot of women who do not see themselves as leaders and how can we and myself as well, right? How do we come along each other and we kind of have that imposter syndrome of not, you know, you and I were just talking about it.
[00:06:32] Patty: Quite feeling comfortable in your own skin. Like, oh, someone's going to call on me and I'm not gonna know that scripture. Or someone's gonna ask me to pray and I'm not going to know how to pray out loud. And, and I don't even know how to lead. I don't know how to share Christ with somebody else. And so how do we just come alongside and make it comfortable and make it as.
[00:06:51] Patty: Safe place and, and like what you do, Danisha be able to just share our stories authentically. And this was way back in [00:07:00] 2000, 2001. Uh, so I feel like we've come a long ways in, in, in the church, but we wanted to create just a, a front porch, a place where people could come. We don't have to have even these intense Bible studies where you can, you know, sit on the rocking chair and drink lemonade to get together.
[00:07:18] Patty: And so we started. Ministry called Girlfriends Unlimited, and it was similar to mops, but it wasn't the moms of like toddlers of babies. It was more of women girlfriends that are just coming along together and God just. Blew it through it internationally. And we went into all of these churches and we started doing in, in our church, and there were a hundred women, and then the next week there were 200 and the next month, 300, 400, 506, and then it was a thousand women.
[00:07:51] Patty: And we realized, okay, this is what women were looking for. And I would hear things. You're taking God out of church or you're [00:08:00] taking God out of you know, ministry. And don't forget to put Jesus there. Cause sometimes we would open it up and we wouldn't even pray. What we did have going on is in a prayer room.
[00:08:12] Patty: We had tons of women that were just praying over the whole event and we had different um, things just woven in. Jesus was everywhere. And we get caught up kind of very legalistic in how we need to do things. We need to open in prayer, we need to say some scripture, you know, then we need to close in prayer and seeing kumbaya.
[00:08:31] Patty: Yah. So we were just kind of coming along doing things a little bit differently and it got. Outta hand. It got a little bit bigger than what we were ready for. It was kind of got over our skill set where, you know, needing attorneys and accountants and we were selling product from pajamas to hats to, or it, it just, it got crazy.
[00:08:57] Patty: And so a publishing company came along [00:09:00] and, and bought us out. And so from there, I didn't feel like God was saying completely, you need to get out of ministry. As we were praying for that, someone came along and said, we would love to have you guys on a, on a show on It was radio or internet radio. It was before the podcast.
[00:09:20] Patty: That's where we couldn't use the name anymore. Girlfriends Unlimited, cuz we had sold that. So we came up with Girlfriend it and the, it was Finding your Divine Design and that sounds so trite, but truly finding what you were. Uniquely created to do. Um, where is the Holy Spirit like moving you? That you have this gift and this talent that only you have and the world needs.
[00:09:50] Patty: And so how do we help people like reinvent it, uh, redefine it, um, come up with that purpose where we're always [00:10:00] moving, we're always changing. Cuz for me, after. Uh, I wanna say I gave birth to this ministry and then after a decade when it kind of evaporated what now? And I wasn't expecting that. I didn't expect the, the grief of giving up that child for adoption and then having to then reinvent myself.
[00:10:22] Patty: I, I didn't know what that next step. I was so excited to get rid of. Putting the baby up for adoption to get rid of some of the hassles that I didn't realize what a gift it was. And, uh, you and I were just talking about that, how you look back at the last decade and you go, those were good times. Like I love that.
[00:10:41] Patty: Why, why was I sad in some of those situations? Cause you realize that those experiences and the expertise and everything that you learn and, and the beauty is that God, Every single one, nothing is wasted. All of those gifts and talents he [00:11:00] will use for that next level. So as I was reinventing myself, I realized that, you know, bring people along.
[00:11:09] Patty: Cuz like I said, it's all about the party. So let's, let's do this together. We're in it together, and how do we truly find that purpose, that place where God intends you to be. Because otherwise it's really easy just to get caught up in the daily and we become a little bit apathetic. So that, that was my long Are you done with your coffee
[00:11:33] Patty: That was my long version of where I'm now this
[00:11:35] Denisha: coffee. Keep talking . That is so neat. I didn't realize that you had had the ministry before the podcast. That's, that's really awesome. I think we are hungry as women for just. For real, for authentic and not the mask that sometimes we can put on that, you know, how are you?
[00:11:54] Denisha: I'm good. I'm fine. You know, I think that that, I think that is really, [00:12:00] I know why it's needed in some places or why it's not safe, but to have that safe space created where you can hear a real conversation, realize you're not alone in your own things that. . That's a gift. It really is.
[00:12:13] Patty: Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's funny because we crave that authenticity and we want those safe places, and yet we.
[00:12:22] Patty: Still aren't there. And what I mean by that is, uh, I was, I was just sharing this with my daughter. This book I was reading, she is talking about, she's Instagram famous and it's for plus size women. And people are like, go, you, you're being so real and you're putting yourself out there and you're being so authentic.
[00:12:44] Patty: And she's over here still airbrushing herself, getting her her best angles. You know, she's, she's on YouTube making sure that it's all edited if you know, if you can see her double chin and. She was just laughing and I thought, but yeah, [00:13:00] that still happens. Like I'm, I'm over here. Uh, the, the best one, I don't know if you've seen these, where women are, you know, they don't have their makeup on and they're saying, I just wanna be me today.
[00:13:11] Patty: I want to be real. And they have their false eyelashes and their, you know, lip injections and the lighting is just perfect. It's like, I wanna be real, but I wanna look good when I'm being real. Right. Uhhuh? Yep. ,
[00:13:25] Denisha: that's so true. On your website, you have something, and I'm so curious about this. You say, stop wondering what if and start embracing right now.
[00:13:36] Denisha: Tell us about that. Cause that kind of sounds like that. Like what if I was center? What if you know this, but embracing right now?
[00:13:45] Patty: Well, I think as, as women, we have a tendency to think I'm going to do that. Later. A, as a matter of fact, you and I have had that conversation where I've said, you know, I want to really refine my, my podcast.
[00:13:59] Patty: I want to spend [00:14:00] the time to be more intentional with the, the people that I'm interviewing. And so we, we get in this Yeah. But disease, like, yeah. But I'll do that when my kids are older or Yeah. But I'll do that when I lose 10 pounds or Yeah. But I will, and it's easy to do. It's easy to say. And, and I'm not preaching.
[00:14:21] Patty: I'm, I'm famous at this. Rather than going, okay, God, today when you wake up in the morning, really? Asking him to go, where do I need to be today? And what can I do daily to, to move forward? Who do you want me to have an impact on today? Who do you, um, want to have an impact on? Me? And I, I try to have that as my prayer.
[00:14:48] Patty: And it was interesting. Um, one time I was out of town and I, I woke up, you know, I was praying that okay. Whoever you're gonna put in my life [00:15:00] today, make me aware that I can have an impact and just shine you and midday. I had a woman come up to me and she was a Muslim and she said, you know, this is a crazy question, but will you mentor me?
[00:15:16] Patty: The first thing that I thought of was, are you crazy? Like, I do not have time to blow my nose right now. Like, there's no way, like all of this is going on in my head going , right? I'm gonna mentor, I'm gonna add one more thing on my plate and I, I just, you know, was that whisper of. Oh, who do you want me, you know, I'm really good about the prayer.
[00:15:40] Patty: Like, just put 'em in my life. , those who you want me to have an impact on, I wanna shine you. And then my, you know, the first opportunity. No, no. And one thing that I've learned is I hear women, and once again, I'm not, I'm not knocking this, but we say, let me pray about it. I believe that we [00:16:00] should be so prayed up then when that, when it does happen.
[00:16:04] Patty: We're like, yes, God. Like this is me being obedient. And there are times where, you know, we just, it's a big decision and I get it. It's like, I need time just to be still. But for certain things it's like, no, I didn't need to say to this person. Let me think about it. It's like it's been thought about, it's been prayed about.
[00:16:26] Patty: You need to say. Yes, yes, yes. And I just remember as I was traveling back home laughing at that, it was a perfect example of we say things, it's like I surrender it all to you, but then when it happens, we, we kind of start backpedaling. So, in that question of what does that mean to embrace it right now?
[00:16:52] Patty: It's that what do I need to do today? And so at the end of your day, [00:17:00]reevaluating, I know you're, you're a big journaling person. I don't necessarily journal, journal, but I dictate into my phone of what, where I saw God. This morning when I asked him and when I, you know, shared all my, my woes, like what was my dialogue, what took place at the end of the day, and taking those what ifs and really embracing, this is what I did today, God, and whatever you have for me tomorrow, let me be ready for it.
[00:17:31] Patty: Let me be so prayed up that when it happens, See you. I, I know it's you. And when I don't, and, and like I said, this is, I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching because I really struggle cuz I'm that di personality where I'm very domineering. I is, everything's a possibility. Like my day will be packed and my kids will say, do you wanna go skating?
[00:17:56] Patty: And I'll go, yes. And my husband will look at me and go, and when [00:18:00] are you adding skating into your day? Like, so I have to be careful. All things are a possibility, but they also have to fit into your schedule. Um, so that's what I mean by stop wondering what if and start embracing right now being fully present and being aware of what God has you to do today.
[00:18:23] Patty: Tomorrow, next week, I'm, I'm a huge advocate of looking down the road and then backing into it. But when I say I, I will say, whenever I put my five year plan together, it always changes because God puts me on a different path. But at least I did my due diligence in saying, okay, God, this is kind of where I see my path going and backing into it, but I, I'm all yours.
[00:18:51] Patty: I just don't want that to come across like, I am so spiritual and I have it figured out because I really don't, I wanna say a hot mess, but I, I'm [00:19:00] so tired of that hot mess story. It's like, can we get another word for that? But I just want to do what Jesus has me. To do. I love
[00:19:11] Denisha: your heart with that. I think for me, that is one of the things.
[00:19:15] Denisha: First of all, I saw this meme the other day that I laughed so hard. It was a mom with like this perfect messy bun, this cute t-shirt that said, I'm not getting ready today. Cute little jeans, little sneakers. Looked so put together. And then he said, this is, you know, some mom's version of not getting ready today.
[00:19:33] Denisha: And then it said, this is me . And she was in like leopard jams with like a mi snatch shirt, like the fuzzy flip flops. Like I was laughing so hard cause I thought that is me, like the hot mess thing. You think like, oh, I'm a hot mess. I put my hair in a bend today. No, I look like the other woman in the locker.
[00:19:50] Denisha: Yes. I look like I literally rolled outta
[00:19:52] Patty: bed and walked to the bus stop. . Yeah. And, and that's the thing, Danisha, everything I said. That's what I'm striving for, you know? [00:20:00] Cause you never wanna come across like, ah, just surrender everything daily to Jesus. And you know, I, you know, I'm pretty close to perfect.
[00:20:07] Patty: I will admit that , that's
[00:20:11] Denisha: what brother says your, that's what your brother says. We talked about this last episode, but your brother and I are friends and he says that you're pretty close to perfect. So, Uhhuh. ,
[00:20:20] Patty: right? Right. Well, well he would know. Yeah.
[00:20:24] Denisha: I'm just glad we don't have a call in though, because he'd be the first one calling and harassing us during our time to get Oh, he
[00:20:30] Patty: already asked.
[00:20:31] Patty: He already asked when you were on my show. He said, can I, can I do a call in? I'm, I said, yes, there's the capacity, but no, I'm not giving
[00:20:38] Denisha: you the number. , no, thank you. Thank you, Patty. Yes, that would've been that. We would've been hot messes for sure. Yeahs. Exactly, exactly. Like I will tell you, my struggle is when I get up in the morning, I have that intentionality.
[00:20:52] Denisha: but then I go 90 miles an hour also. Yeah. I over pack my schedule. I don't put enough margin in to get a [00:21:00] bandaid for a child at times. Yeah. Let alone meeting a stranger at Target and feeling like the Lord's laying them on my heart. Like how do we change that when that is our normal life's rhythm?
[00:21:11] Patty: Yeah, and, and that is such a good question and, and I think what's funny is that after doing years and years of doing a podcast, I give these answers and they sound so trite because we all know what to do.
[00:21:28] Patty: Like we've read the self-help books, we know what scripture says. It's like you said, it's doing it right. So I can sit here and go, well, if you're passionate about this, then you're gonna make time for it. But if you really something you do make space for it. And one of the things I, I teach a lot of time management classes because that really does help people, you know, move forward in, in their corporations when they know how to make space for their larger [00:22:00] projects and how to, you know, manage so many people and delegate, but finding that.
[00:22:05] Patty: That white space is powerful. So even when you're putting your calendar together, and as a matter of fact, Philip, my brother just asked me this last week. He goes, Patty, how do you stay motivated? Like what? What do you do? And being motivated isn't doing the things you love to do, being motivated, self-motivation is doing those things that.
[00:22:29] Patty: Don't like to do. And that's when I stack them with things that I love to do. So, in other words, I love to eat and I, I have this bad habit of, you know, I wanna go get Dorito chips and I would eat Dorito chips or cupcakes all day long. So what I do is I'm preparing for my, my presentations. I will say, okay, I need to get to PowerPoint 10, and then I can give myself a treat.
[00:22:58] Patty: I'm like a five year old, right? . [00:23:00] Um, if when I work out, I can't watch Netflix unless I'm on the elliptical, which sounds a little crazy, but when you stack your goals like that, it really does help you do the things you don't wanna do. I will get my, I call 'em you. Your, your large rocks out of the way before I start doing the things that I love to do.
[00:23:23] Patty: Um, so the details. I don't like putting, you know, my budgets and my, my finances and having to, you know, itemize my, my stuff. So I will get that out of the way at the beginning so then I can play. And some of you have probably heard this, the two minute rule, sit down and just do it for two. And what happens is you, you'll finish it, you'll complete it, but you just go, I'm just gonna do it for two minutes.
[00:23:48] Patty: There was one book I was reading, uh, it's called Tiny Habits, and he said he wanted to get in shape and he just would never find that space to get in shape. So [00:24:00] every time he flushed the toilet, he had to do four pushups. And I, I was sharing that with a friend. They were like, I will never use the restroom again if I have to, you know, do pushups, but you have to find where, and, and there's also a great book, it's called Atomic Habits, and it's by James Clear, and he talks about that.
[00:24:22] Patty: It's tiny tweaks, those little tiny tweaks that you do in your day to help make space for what you value because other. Life interrupts a vision, right? Vision leaks, and I wanna do all these fabulous, amazing things, but then I get that. Yeah, but disease, it's like, that's why I go, well wait until my kids are older and then I'm going to start a podcast, or wait until I at least have my child in first grade, and then I'm going to start the blog.
[00:24:50] Patty: It's like, prime the pump now, just start doing it. Little tiny tweak. And then it's, it's the, the muscle [00:25:00] that. You exercise it. I, I like to share the story. My sister, uh, she's amazing. She's a savant. She can basically pick up an any instrument and play it. And she was asked to play the saxophone. I forget.
[00:25:14] Patty: She's done it at both like the son's game, the diamond backs. I, I don't know. But anyway, she shares how she's playing the national anthem on her saxophone and she looks up and she sees herself on the jumbotron. And you know, you know that what happens, that fight or flight where all of your blood. It leaves your brain and it goes into your large muscles because you're going to fight the threat.
[00:25:40] Patty: You know, I just saw myself in front of thousands of millions of people and now my body is responding to this threat. But she said it's crazy. I have no idea what happened, but I was able to keep playing the saxophone and. [00:26:00] She didn't miss a beat because of the muscle memory. So you just start, you do it every day, and you keep expanding that muscle where it just becomes a part of who you are, of how God created us with.
[00:26:15] Patty: Our unique gifts and talents that we just keep practicing, practicing, practicing, but we, we have to do the work. Right. We have to, and I don't know if I answered your question there, Danisha, but um, I'm gonna go spiritual on, on you again. I was this morning. In, in my little quiet time, it was talking about the, the manana that God provided, but they had to do the work.
[00:26:41] Patty: Right. Even though that manana came down and I just kind of saw it as, yeah, the manana comes down and you know, you're just like holding out your tongue and. Taking the flakes, right? They still had to gather that and do all of the work and, and some of the Israelites, they chose to not [00:27:00] even go with them as they were going to the Promised Land.
[00:27:04] Patty: And it just made me think of everything is a choice. Right. It starts with you. It's your choice. Your, you have to make space for it, or you have to have the grit to work at it. You can either choose to become bitter as you get older, or you can become better. You can stay in the slavery. And be with the Egyptians there, or you can move out.
[00:27:26] Patty: Let God provide, let God give you the man. Go ahead, hold out your tongue and get some of it, you know, is just free entitlement, but the of it. And when you do that, Then when you are in situations where you have those pivotal points in your life, you learn how to balance it and you learn how to, how do I deal with a crisis?
[00:27:51] Patty: How do I deal with this situation? Um, so that was my squirrel route of saying, how do you make space for grabbing that [00:28:00] band? Did I wrap that around? I, I did. I
[00:28:03] Denisha: wrapped it. I love it. And we even have a biblical example of how to do
[00:28:07] Patty: that. Good job. Well, I warned you. I was going, I was going
[00:28:10] Denisha: spiritual on you,
[00:28:11] Denisha: Yeah, you can always do that. That's awesome. It is. It is hard though. And I love what you said about being intentional and just doing the small things each day that lead to where you wanna go and getting I That was great advice about getting the things you don't love to. Out of the way first, because I think I'm the opposite where I procrastinate on things I don't wanna do and I put those last, I'm like, let me do the fun stuff.
[00:28:33] Denisha: Yeah. And then we'll do this. I had this huge project a few weeks ago, and out of nowhere I decided it would be way more fun to sit down, come up with a graphic for all like 35 podcasts that had happened, put them on. And I decided I should do that. It took me like a whole day to get all of it uploaded with the, you know, the podcast and everything.
[00:28:54] Denisha: And at the end of the day, um, Nancy, our executive assistant who's amazing, she's like, so did we get this [00:29:00] started? And I was like, no, I spent the day on you too, . Really? Oh yeah. Not doing what I was supposed to do. I put that was, that was like a little pebble in my jar and. Wove it around my big rock and then still stared at my big rock.
[00:29:13] Denisha: So yeah, I love the idea of doing something that you don't love. Let's do this for two minutes, get it done. I think that is great advice.
[00:29:21] Patty: And I do that too. Danisha, I love doing the artsy, the, the graphic design. And so you feel like, and you did right, you had to get that done. Did. So you feel like you're.
[00:29:35] Patty: Productive and you're, you're doing all that, but it's like, okay, I have the next five years of all of our graphic designs ready to go. . That's what you
[00:29:46] Denisha: love to do. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It was definitely a passion project and Nancy ended up letting me off the hook cuz she was like, did you, did you have downtime during that?
[00:29:56] Denisha: I'm like, yeah, my husband was watching a movie and I was just cranking out these, you know, I [00:30:00] thought, oh, that'd be good to do. So, you know, it all, it all has its place. You know, before we wrap up today, What do you think most people struggle with in the what if rather than the right now?
[00:30:14] Patty: I, I think it's our, our negative thoughts.
[00:30:19] Patty: It's, it's the self talk that, that we deal with, that the enemy loves to have a heyday. And when you really think of some of the conversations that you're having in your head, it's not you. That's not who you are and why we allow the, that inner voice, that inner critic, to have a heyday. It's being aware I have a car that if I don't turn the blinker on and I go into the other lane.
[00:30:45] Patty: Without my blinker, it jiggles me. It's the like, you know, kind of bounces you around. And I wish that there was some way when a negative thought came into your, your brain that you could, you know, turn on something that would jiggle [00:31:00] you. Because if we knew what happens when we have a negative. in our brain, we would never have a negative thought again.
[00:31:10] Patty: And now with, you know, neuroscience, they're, they're seeing when they do MRIs, like what is happening that is literally eroding that part of your brain and you have to make a bridge. To get from one side of your brain to the other side of the brain to have a positive thought. So the more you're decaying that and allowing yourself to just beat you up, and, and I know Danisha, in our last podcast, we talked about being a perfectionist, and this is what, what happens too, is that we want it to be perfect.
[00:31:47] Patty: So we just. Spiraling that that we're not good enough, that we're not worthy, that we're going to get rejected. So we have to keep refining and refining, and it's like, is that I, [00:32:00] I believe that God wants us to do things with excellence, but are you refining it for you or are you refining it for him? And I go back to, There was a time when 10 Dell, a publishing company, um, came to my business partner and I, and asked us to write a book.
[00:32:19] Patty: And at the time we were doing a lot within human trafficking and sex slavery industry, and we were going into brothels and strip clubs and just helping women get out of the industry, just letting 'em know, we, we love you. You know, here, here's a cupcake. Someone cares about you. Uh, we think you're amazing and beautiful, and.
[00:32:39] Patty: Trying to show up and you know, as Jesus, and so they wanted to hear. That story of some of, you know, just the scenarios that that had happened, and it took us three years. We would write, we would send it, they would edit, they would bring it back, and we were like, eh, nope. That's not our voice. We would write, we would send it.
[00:32:59] Patty: We went [00:33:00] through three editors. and . I look back on that and we just kept changing it and kept changing it and kept changing it and that was such a good, um, experience for me to look at it and go, God gave you this opportunity and. It was on you, that was your choice. To refine it to perfection or to let an outside person go, it's okay.
[00:33:25] Patty: This is how we, we put our editing on here and we think this book is okay. Well now after three years, they ended up pulling it and it was the best. Way for me to go. I'm not gonna let that happen again. God, that was you, you, you showed me. And I'm not saying I was disciplined or you know, cause there was a time there I was like, oh, did you discipline me?
[00:33:48] Patty: I'm so sorry for not being obedient. I just think it was the natural consequences of this is what happens when you just. Have to make everything [00:34:00] so, so perfect. And so that's what I would go back to is be careful of that negative thought that you're allowing to go, you know, to happen in your brain. The, the critical self-talk that,
[00:34:14] Denisha: that you do.
[00:34:15] Denisha: That's such a good point cuz I know that so many people, like all of us, right? We, if, I wonder if we could count, like you said, your car, Jes, you know, if we could count the number of negative thoughts that we have that are self critical, that are accusing versus positive, encouraging, you know, motivational type thoughts that would be interesting to count the difference between.
[00:34:39] Patty: Well, once again, it goes back to, you know, it's, it's all there in scripture. And you know, I always think of Philippians 4, 8, 9, that if we're focusing on the things that are true and pure and trustworthy, it changes how we show up and it changes how we set the tone. It changes the legacy that we leave by [00:35:00] what we put, what he tells us.
[00:35:02] Patty: What, what's captivating, what's capturing your. That's
[00:35:06] Denisha: so true. So what would you say, Patty, to a woman listening who's thinking, I, I struggle with that, right? Like I, that is something that I struggle. Are those accusing thoughts, those demeaning thoughts, and I would love to turn that around. What would you say to her?
[00:35:22] Denisha: What would be your advice
[00:35:24] Patty: if possible? Be aware and start thinking of every time you have those negative thoughts. Like take your, take a ring. Take it from one finger and put it on the other hand and do something that can jiggle your brain. You know, do something that you go, oh man, I'm doing that again, because I really don't think we're.
[00:35:48] Patty: Aware and also, you know, tell somebody, hold yourself accountable. I know with my husband the other day, I might have been ripping into my kids. I forget what I was doing, but I . [00:36:00] I said, do I have a bad attitude? And he goes, yeah, you kinda do. So it's like, stop me. Don't let those words come out my mouth. You know, be aware of it or just do something.
[00:36:12] Patty: Create your own jiggle. There you
[00:36:13] Denisha: go. I love that. Well, Patty, thank you so much. I think we could talk all day, which is fun. So fun. Absolutely. Thank you so much for the tidbits and the wisdom that you've given us on how to get from here to there in different, different situations in our lives that I think we can all relate to.
[00:36:32] Denisha: So thank you so much for dropping that and I look forward to having you on again, cuz I think we could
[00:36:37] Patty: talk all day. . Thanks Danisha. It's been an honor.
[00:36:40] Denisha: Oh, thank you Patty. Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation and maybe even feel a little less alone in your story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at Reclaimed Story.
[00:36:56] Denisha: Wanna learn more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a [00:37:00]part of our growing community of reclaimers. Check out our firstname.lastname@example.org. All of those links and more will be in the show notes. And if you enjoy this inspirational podcast, be sure to subscribe, rate and review. Not only will you be the first one to know when new content comes out, but it is also a huge help in helping us reach more people to live the reclaimed life.