Living the Reclaimed Life

#81 Six Tools For A Healthy Heart ~ Norma Donovan

November 21, 2022 Season 3 Episode 81
Living the Reclaimed Life
#81 Six Tools For A Healthy Heart ~ Norma Donovan
Show Notes Transcript

What tools do we need to engage to have healthy emotional hearts?  What about toxic emotions that we experience that rob us of our healthy hearts? In today's episode, Norma Donovan explains how those emotions hit us and six tools we can use to guarantee a healthy heart.

You can find Norma's book, "Restoring Your Heart To Deepen Intimacy" on
Amazon HERE
Stay Connected With Norma: 



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The transcript is auto-generated.

[00:00:00] Denisha: What tools do we need to engage to have healthy emotional hearts? What about those toxic emotions that we experience, which rob us of those healthy hearts? In today's episode, Norma Donovan will explain how those emotions catch us, and six tools that we can use to guarantee a healthy. Many of you may not know this, but before being in ministry for the past 12 years, I was a jeweler for 20 years.

[00:00:29] Denisha: So basically there's two things that I know in life and that's jewelry and Jesus . I guess there are worst things, right? As we are coming up on the Christmas season, did you know that reclaimed story has our own inspiring jewelry line? We have over 40 unique modern pieces each with words on them that speak to our identity in.

[00:00:50] Denisha: All stainless steel. So not only is it long lasting, but it's affordable and all of the proceeds from our jewelry line help to fund this ministry, [00:01:00] including this podcast. So I'd love to invite you this Christmas to check out our jewelry line and journals The awesome thing is it's free shipping in the.

[00:01:12] Denisha: And we include a handwritten note to inspire the person that you're sending it to. So this Christmas, let us be your Amazon. You pick out the pieces and we'll ship it for you for free. So who is on your Christmas list that you would like to inspire with the truth of God's word? Check it out and click on.

[00:01:35] Denisha: Now let's talk about those six tools to a Healthy Heart with Norma Donovan. Welcome to Living the Reclaim Life podcast. I'm Danisha. We're glad you're here for conversations that revive hope, inspire healing, and encourage you to live a vibrant life with Christ. So grab a cup of coffee as we chat with today's.

[00:01:57] Denisha: Today we are going to talk [00:02:00] about six tools for a healthy heart. And this is a message for all of us to be free from angst, to be free from all of the negative feelings that we have. And I am so excited to have Norma Donovan back on the podcast. And so she is a author, a speaker, and the founder and president of Restoring Heart's Ministry.

[00:02:23] Denisha: And if you haven't had a chance to check out Norma's book, I really recommend you check that out. It's on Amazon. We linked it in a previous episode, but we'll also link it again, it is called Restoring Your Heart to Deepen Intimacy. Norma has a master's degree in counseling, and her passions include mentoring women being intimate with God and seeing others' hearts restored.

[00:02:47] Denisha: Her and her husband live in Kansas and have two grown children. And Norma, I am so excited to have you on the podcast again today and to talk about six tools for a healthy. [00:03:00]

[00:03:00] Guest: I'm so excited to be here. Thank you, Danisha, for inviting me again. Yes, 

[00:03:05] Denisha: and I'm telling you, the more I get to know you, the more I'm thinking, oh, there's so many things we can talk about.

[00:03:10] Denisha: So I look forward to what God has planned in the future as well. Aw. So Norma, you are really passionate about having healthy emotional hearts. So why are you so passionate about that? I know it's been part of your journey, but there is a deep passion there. So tell us a little bit about. 

[00:03:29] Guest: Yeah, so Danisha, when I was 54, I had a stress induced heart attack and fortunately I didn't experience any long term life threatening effects from it.

[00:03:42] Guest: But that experience made me realize that just as clogged coronary arteries prevent us from living life to the fullest, so do unhealthy emotional. While a blocked heart artery makes it difficult to physically exert ourselves, unforgiveness [00:04:00] and other emotional blockages, lodge deep down within our hearts, make it difficult for us to be close to people and to God.

[00:04:08] Guest: And woundedness really restricts our emotional and spiritual growth. We have many choices to. That we can make to prevent physical heart disease, such as exercise, eating a healthy diet, managing our stress, and my personal favorite of eating dark chocolate . Yes, likewise, . Likewise, God has given us in his word, six tools to use to prevent emotional heart disease.

[00:04:35] Guest: Quite frankly, for many years, most of my life, Danisha, I used to sweep my hurt that I experienced under that proverbial rug of my heart. And if it was too painful, I would just stuff it deep down into the recesses of my heart and not deal with it, simply ignore it. But the problem with that was that what I swept under the rug eventually built.[00:05:00]

[00:05:00] Guest: And became like lumps and soon I began tripping over those lumps they got in the way of my relationships with the Lord and with my loved ones. One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 4 23, and it says this above all else, guard your heart for everything you do, flows from it. So this scripture tells us to pay attention to our emotions, that God wants us to take care of our hearts by dealing with our wounds and making them a priority.

[00:05:34] Guest: When the reason, and the reason why he encourages us to do that is because he knows that our hearts will affect everything else in our lives. In other words what goes on in our hearts comes out in our lives. Author Dallas Willard supports this scripture. Proverbs 4 23. With these words, put everything you have into the care of your [00:06:00] heart for it determines what your life amounts to.

[00:06:03] Guest: We live from our hearts and what is in our heart matters more than anything else for who we become and what becomes of us. I'm passionate Danisha about restoring hearts because the more emotional wholeness that we have, the greater our intimacy will be with others and with God. And the beauty of our God is that he wants our hearts healed.

[00:06:27] Guest: So he provided us with these six tools to use. The tools are only beneficial if we use. That's so 

[00:06:36] Denisha: good. We can know. I know like diet and exercise when you talk about our physical heart. And I think, oh, I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't always do it. Sometimes that's just information I stuff in the back of my head and go bring on the fried foods and the milk chocolate and so that it isn't always something that we do.

[00:06:57] Denisha: So I love that you said. [00:07:00] What's the first problem that attacks our heart, and what tools do we need to bring healing to that 

[00:07:07] Guest: choosing to sin? That's the first attack on our heart is when we choose to sin. And so we end up experiencing true guilt because of that. And so God gave us the tools of confession and rep.

[00:07:21] Guest: To restore our hearts and our relationship with him. Each act of disobedience results in a breach of our intimacy with the Lord. So confession is acknowledging and agreeing with God about our sin. It's taking responsibility for our disobedience, owning up to it, and no longer trying to hide it from God like Adam and Eve did.

[00:07:43] Guest: It's the hiding and the keeping things in secret, which eats away at us internally. And destroys us. The psalmist David wrote in Psalm 32 verses three through five. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long [00:08:00] for day and night. Your hand was heavy on me. My strength was sapped as in the heat of the summer.

[00:08:06] Guest: Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said I will. My transgressions to the Lord and you forgave the guilt of my sin. So confession frees us from the guilt of sin. And one John one, nine says that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us of our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

[00:08:33] Guest: Danisha, there is no sin, too great that God cannot forgive and repentance the second tool. Is 180 degree turn away from sin and turning to God. Romans two, four says that it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance and what we need most after we sin and experience that guilt is to repent, to tell God we were wrong to [00:09:00] sin and to seek his forgiveness.

[00:09:02] Guest: Repentance is a gift. because when we repent, we're free from that guilt and our relationship with God is restored. I used to look at repentance as something negative because it highlighted my defects, which only caused me more shame. . But now I see it more from God's perspective, so I want to encourage the listeners, don't let shame keep you from repentance, because restoration begins with rep.

[00:09:32] Guest: Repentance is not just being sorry for the consequences of your sin. Instead, you're grieved over how your sin has affected your relationship with God. Genuine repentance is a godly sorrow over your sin, and it's changing your thinking to a line up in agreement with God's. The easiest time to repent is after I've been convicted.

[00:09:58] Guest: Just like the [00:10:00] easiest time to scrape dishes is immediately after using them. If I wait and quite frankly, Danisha, I Did that frequently as a newlywed and I only, I would wake up every morning, depressed, seeing all the work I had ahead for me to do. But if I wait and let the dirty dishes sit in the sink overnight, the food hardens, making it much more difficult to wash.

[00:10:25] Guest: And likewise, if I wait to repent, pride will surely come. Harden my heart, convincing me that I don't need to repent. So again, tools only work if you use them. So use confession and repentance to heal your heart from sin. That is 

[00:10:44] Denisha: such a great analogy with the dishes. I knew you would like that . I love that.

[00:10:49] Denisha: There's six people at our house. We go through dishes like you cannot believe, and in fact last night it, so we take, we have four kids, and so each week one child [00:11:00] has. Is in charge of dishes for that week, and they have to do 'em for the whole week because the whole switching every day. All it turned into was Tuesday would blame Monday for not doing it.

[00:11:09] Denisha: Wednesday would blame Tuesday, and we would end up doing 'em, and so we said, okay, you're in charge of it for the whole week, Sunday through Saturday. They have to be completely clean, counter and sink and everything. For the person on Sunday. So yesterday our 11 year old started his round, right? So he's look and it is piled up.

[00:11:25] Denisha: We had a big family dinner last night. There's tons of dishes and we had frosting, which was caked on. And so I said to him, he goes, I don't wanna do 'em tonight, I'll do 'em tomorrow. And I said two problems with that. One, we can't get to the sink so nobody can rinse their plate, therefore it's gonna sit.

[00:11:42] Denisha: And he goes, but I'll do it tomorrow. And it just, that was the picture that was coming into my mind as you said that, because isn't it true we think, oh, I don't wanna do it. It's gonna be hard. I don't, it's a tender, vulnerable place with the Lord to go, and yet the dishes are still sitting there. The next people aren't gonna, we're not gonna rinse [00:12:00] our dishes and we're gonna build up more and more.

[00:12:02] Denisha: Things that keep us separated from that intimacy with God. So last night I made him dive into those dishes, and that's a perfect picture of just, okay, Lord, I'm gonna come to you right now, bring this to you, confess it. And boy the intimacy that is restored is so beautiful there that for myself, for my 11 year old, for my son, it was peace of waking up this morning and going, oh, thank goodness it's not piling.

[00:12:25] Denisha: More. Yes. I think that's a great analogy to look at. Confession and repentance. What a great tool. I love it. . So what is, what's the second difficulty that attacks our hearts and how do we resolve it? 

[00:12:41] Guest: Being hurt by those who offend us is the second attack on our hearts. And forgiveness is the tool. To use to set us free.

[00:12:50] Guest: Danisha, when I was in my mid thirties, my mom flew from Phoenix to Omaha to visit us for three weeks. And when she returned home, my dad picked her up at the [00:13:00] airport, took her out to lunch, and during lunch he informed her that he wanted a divorce. She had no inkling that this was happening. And while she was visiting us, he was packing up his belongings.

[00:13:16] Guest: I was, I to say I was devastated by this news would be an understatement. So a few days later I went to our church to meet with two of our lay counselors, and both of them encouraged me to do the unthinkable to forgive my dad. I was so hurt and angry and blindsided by my dad's selfishness that the last thing I wanted to do was to forgive.

[00:13:43] Guest: Matthew six 14 and 15 says, for if you forgive other people, when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your father will not forgive your sins. So this motivates me, [00:14:00] Danisha, to forgive those who have hurt me because I'm in desperate need of God's forgiveness.

[00:14:05] Guest: How can I not give away the forgive? That God has mercifully given to me Over and over again, I've learned that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves, and unforgiveness keeps us emotionally bound to our offender while forgiveness sets us free. When I forgive others, I am no longer connected or emotionally controlled by them and what they did to me.

[00:14:32] Guest: When I forgave my dad, I was no longer emotionally held captive by that hurt, but he was still held responsible to God for this sin. Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling, and it requires supernatural assistance from God. It's unconditional and requires nothing in response from the offender. When we forgive someone, we don't forget the offense like [00:15:00] God does, but we will no longer hold it against them.

[00:15:04] Guest: So when I forgave my dad, I released him from the pain and hurt that he caused me and my family. And one of the benefits of forgiveness is that we're set free from bitterness and resentment. Bitterness eats away the inside of us. It discolors life and it affects our relationships. But forgiving someone does not mean you automatically restore trust with them.

[00:15:30] Guest: Trust takes time to be rebuilt and proven. Again, I want to encourage the listeners, don't let pride or a revenge mentality of, you hurt me, therefore I'm going to hurt you, prevent you from experiencing the freedom that comes from forgiveness. And when I forgive someone, even if it's, even if I'm not saying it to them I'm very specific when I forgive.

[00:15:56] Guest: So for example, I could say I choose to forgive [00:16:00] my dad for divorcing mom. I think sometimes if I'm vague, then the enemy might come back and say, I really didn't forgive. . And so if others have sinned against you and have hurt you, then the tool of forgiveness will set you free from that offense and the emotions that go with that.

[00:16:20] You 

[00:16:21] Denisha: mentioned that trust takes time. Does forgiveness always mean 

[00:16:26] Guest: reconciliation? No, it does not. In a perfect world, That would be wonderful. I think that's what God desires. He says that he's given us the spirit of reconciliation, but it takes two to reconcile, so I can only do my part. I can't control the other person's response.

[00:16:47] Denisha: I think too if there was maybe an abusive relationship. or maybe somebody who endured abuse as a child. That definitely, right? As you said, reconciliation is not [00:17:00] something that we need to go for, but it is between God and us. That forgiveness, right? . Yeah. So confession, repentance, and forgive.

[00:17:12] Denisha: I love that there's half of our six tools, guys, and it sounds really easy, but each of those steps have so many layers, confession and repentance to turn from those things to then forgive. Each of those have so many steps with them. So if that's half of our tools, what are some of our other tools that we can guarantee healthier hearts?

[00:17:36] Denisha: So what's the next type of issue that may cause angst and cause us to have unhealthy? 

[00:17:42] Guest: Loss and disappointment. Oh, yes. Yeah. And so the antidote for that is to grieve. And so grieving is the best tool to use to restore peace to your heart when you have unmet expectations. One Major loss that I walked [00:18:00] through.

[00:18:00] Guest: Danisha took place during the weekend of my wedding. We got married May 22nd, 1976. And my dad, I noticed, was not at the wedding rehearsal. And my mom told me at the rehearsal that he may not even walk me down the aisle the next day. And I remember just sitting down on the pew, letting that sink in, and I just, I wept.

[00:18:26] Guest: Yeah I didn't understand it and for reasons unknown, even to my precious dad, he was having a hard time letting go of his baby daughter. I was the youngest in the family. Dad did end up walking me down the aisle, but he did not come to the rehearsal dinner nor the wedding reception that was held in my parents' backyard.

[00:18:49] Guest: And even now, 46 years later, I can still see my dad driving in the opposite direction as John and I headed to the reception he was going [00:19:00] opposite of us. Shame, rejection, abandon. Permeated my mind and emotions, loss and disappointment overshadowed my wedding weekend. So what did I do to get through it? I stuffed that hurt deep down into the recesses of my heart to get through those festivities.

[00:19:20] Guest: I minimized the disappointment, denied the loss I experienced and swept my wounds under the rug of my heart. I had forgiven my dad years ago, but I had not grieved that painful loss until March of 2020. We may think we have forgotten that pain Danisha, firmly slamming the door of repression only to realize that God and our hearts have not forgotten.

[00:19:52] Guest: So what happened was John and I were driving to Arizona. March of 2021 to celebrate our son's wedding. [00:20:00] And the week before, I had kept waking up between three 30 and four 30 in the morning, way too early. And so during the road trip I read aloud p Freeman's book, the Next Right Thing, and she mentioned that unnamed narratives will reveal themselves in one way or.

[00:20:20] Guest: If we don't have the capacity to name them with our words, they will speak through our bodies. John then asked me if he, if I thought my sleepless nights were because I was anxious about something. I had no prior thought to this, but I blurted out I don't want anything to ruin David and Kelsey's wedding.

[00:20:45] Guest: Oh, that's what I was. And then my sweet husband gently asked, I wonder if it has anything to do with your dad not being at all of ours. That hit the bullseye of [00:21:00] my heart, and I wet and wet. Fortunately, he was driving. I went through four Kleenexes, just grieving that loss. It took 45 years of marriage.

[00:21:13] Guest: To finally grieve the loss of what happened during my wedding and how kind of the Lord that he doesn't forget. I think he really wants our hearts to be made well. And so he gives us these tools. Emotions are a gift from God to help us understand not only ourselves, but those around us.

[00:21:32] Guest: Dr. Kurt Thompson in The Anatomy of the Soul writes that emotion is the means by which we experience and connect with God, others and ourselves in the most basic way possible. It is through the brain's medium of emotion that God moer frequently addresses. If we ignore, deny, or debate these feelings, we are ignoring God's messengers.

[00:21:59] Guest: So [00:22:00] I liken emotions to the check engine light that periodically goes on our cards dashboard. God gave us these emotions to let us know that something may be wrong and needs our attention. He had me wake up early that week before we took off for the wedding. So that he could then, that kind of initiated the process to heal my heart, to let, to remind me I needed to grieve the loss I had experienced.

[00:22:29] Guest: One of the best things we can do is to give ourselves permission to feel, to express and to deal with our emotions if we stuff them. Or put off dealing with them. We only delay the inevitable. Eventually the hurt will come out and usually when we don't expect it, and in a way we probably won't, , heart restoration begins when we acknowledge our pain.

[00:22:52] Guest: I, so now I intentionally grieve my loss Danisha by pouring out my heart to God, either in prayer or by writing it [00:23:00] down in my journal, and then listening to God speak to. About that loss and letting him comfort me. Sometimes it's also helpful to share it with your heart with a trusted confidant, a close friend, but it's not healthy to allow grief to become a destination.

[00:23:19] Guest: Grieving is to, is meant to be a place that we pass through when we're trying to get somewhere else. Grieving helps us transition from what. To what will be, and it's most beneficial when we keep moving through it. The act of grieving helps us move forward and not remain stuck in the past. Holding onto pain keeps our focus on the past, thus preventing us from embracing the present and whatever may lie.

[00:23:51] Guest: God graciously gave me 10 months to grieve the loss of moving from Omaha to Wichita, [00:24:00] and that one act unbeknownst to me, prepared me to fully receive and embrace all the gifts that he had for me. Waiting in Wichita. I remember Oh gosh, several months before we were moving, maybe it was just a couple of months before we moved, he showed me, he gave me a vision.

[00:24:18] Guest: He showed me a Christmas tree with lots of gifts wrapped under it, and he said, that's what I have waiting for you in Wichita. So when you've experienced Let me back up. Grieving brings us closer to God and he promises us in Psalm 34 18 that he is close to the brokenhearted. Matthew five, four says that blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.

[00:24:44] Guest: Thus, grieving is another gift from God deepening our relationship with him as we allow him to be the comfort. When you've experienced loss, the loss of a loved one the loss of a job or promotion, a [00:25:00] divorce or a miscarriage, and disappointment from unmet expectations, much like what we've just experienced in the last two years of the pandemic.

[00:25:09] Guest: God's tool of grieving will help you come to the place of acceptance, rest, and peace within your heart. That 

[00:25:20] Denisha: is so beautiful. And when we talk about, you talked about stuffing at the beginning, and boy, if we stuff the grief, if we stuff those feelings and we don't acknowledge them, like you're saying, that is how we live healthy, right?

[00:25:34] Denisha: Is to have a healthy heart, is to acknowledge it, to feel it. I know I've heard this saying, you have to feel it to heal it. . . And if we stuff the, I've learned in my life, if I stuff the hard feelings, the. Feelings like that underneath the rug. I think I'm just suppressing the hard stuff. But actually, when I stop feeling grief, I also stop feeling joy. Exactly. Yep. Yes. So we can't choose to just, I don't [00:26:00] wanna feel the hard stuff. I'm gonna shove them under the rug because they inadvertently take the good feelings, happiness, joy with them, and it all gets suppressed. Yeah. So I really appreciate you 

[00:26:12] Guest: sharing.

[00:26:13] Guest: And Danisha recently he showed me, if you have several things to grieve, start with the least of the situations, the least important, the smallest. And then and then once you grieve that, then I think. Feeling the freedom and the healing from that, that encourages you to grieve the next thing and then the next thing until you get to the thing that's really the heaviest on your heart.

[00:26:44] Guest: So start, just start . It doesn't matter where you start, but grieve. 

[00:26:51] Denisha: It's almost like we're building our grieving muscles. Huh? We start with the lighter weights and then we work our way to the heavier weights and then we That sounds good. Endurance to [00:27:00] do that. Oh, you shared with us sin offense loss.

[00:27:05] Denisha: What is the last obstacle that our hearts may encounter that can rob us of having healthy whole hearts? 

[00:27:12] Guest: This is one Danisha that I think is The king pen or the key. And it's believing lies from the enemy that's creates more unhealthy emotional hearts which leads to unhealthy reactions.

[00:27:29] Guest: And the tool to restore and make our hearts emotionally whole is telling yourself God's truth. Proverbs 23 7. The first half says this, as a man thinketh in his. So is he What we believe dictates our emotions and behavior. So it's crucial that we believe in God's truth and not the lies from the enemy.

[00:27:54] Guest: When I was 27 years old, Danisha, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, and [00:28:00] a few days after hearing that news while driving home alone from church, I struggled with fear and vein imagination and Soon, tears blurred my eyes and I cried out to God, help me. I, I don't want to die. What's going to happen to my husband?

[00:28:16] Guest: And my mind raced through scenes of my funeral and my husband with a new bride. So in a blank of an eye, I had myself dead buried and John remarried and while stopped at the light it was close to the university of. I think it was fourth Avenue or something, I was stopped at a light and the Lord said to me, do you know for sure that this is going to happen?

[00:28:43] Guest: And obviously I had to reply. No, I don't. And then he taught me a principle that I had the rest of my life. And it's this, tell yourself the truth. Romans 12, two says, do not conform to [00:29:00] the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. So to rid ourselves of this emotional blockage, we need to renew our minds by believing in the truth that God's given to us in his word instead of Satan's deception.

[00:29:16] Guest: Dr. Rob Reimer in his book called Soul Care writes this, that the power of a lie is in our agreement with it. Whatever we agree with, we give power to. So take for example the lie. I am not worthy. That lie in and of itself has no hold on me. It's only when I agree that it's. That the lie begins controlling my life, making it a stronghold.

[00:29:42] Guest: And each lie I agree with is like a thought brick that I'm adding to my stronghold of misbelief, fortifying those fortress walls, making them less penetrable. For God's truth, and we demolish and tear down those strongholds [00:30:00] by taking those lies captive. Second Corinthians 10, four and five says this, that the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.

[00:30:09] Guest: On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds, and we demolish arguments. And every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. And we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. We need to make the lies bow down to God's truth and his lordship and destroy them by replacing it with the word of God.

[00:30:36] Guest: So sometimes what I'll do, and I think we talked about this last time in the podcast, unashamed with you. The lie is the root that we have to unravel, we need to get rid of. And so this is how I do it. I'll take a piece of paper, I'll draw a line, a vertical line down the middle of it at creating two columns.

[00:30:58] Guest: And on the left side, I [00:31:00] write down the lies that I'm believing, and on the right column I write down the corresponding truth with a supportive scripture verse. And then one by one I'll renounce each lie and declare the truth out loud and I. I say it out loud, Danisha number one. Because the enemy cannot read our thoughts.

[00:31:22] Guest: Okay? He needs to hear the truth. And I do it though to get that truth, to drop those 18 inches from my head to my heart. And I think of, Romans 10 17 says that faith comes from hearing. The message. So the lies we've believed are like a recording on repeat in our heads playing over and over again, and that creates a mindset.

[00:31:49] Guest: Many of those recordings were made by significant people during our formative years, which means they've been playing for a very long time. Developing a [00:32:00] new mindset of truth, therefore, is also a process if we constantly play scriptural. In our thoughts, eventually that truth will become our mind's default option.

[00:32:13] Guest: It will immediately go to that truth. And I'm motivated to do this hard work Danisha because Romans eight, six promises that the mind governed by the spirit is life and peace. I want to be a woman who is able to. No matter the circumstance, it is well with my soul. The root of our emotional hurt is often traced back to a lie.

[00:32:43] Guest: Just like for a weed to stop growing, you need to pull out the roots. So do two. Do we need to attack our lies? When you're feeling abandoned, rejected, ashamed or fearful, ask the Holy Spirit what lie you're believing and then [00:33:00] remove it and replace it with the truth. Declare it out loud 'til you begin to believe it.

[00:33:06] Guest: And one last suggestion he was just showing me this a couple of months ago. Is to sit still and to let the father speak his truth to your heart. Because one word from God changes everything. It's his re of words that will wipe away the enemy's deception. So obviously it's been almost 40 years since my diagnosis with thyroid cancer.

[00:33:33] Guest: And as you can see, I did not die and John did not remarry. But this shows that whatever we tell our. And believe will have drastic effects in our lives. Again, what goes on in our hearts comes out in our lives. So if we apply the tool of telling yourself God's truth, it will eliminate those lies and restore peace to our heart.[00:34:00]

[00:34:00] Guest: I'd 

[00:34:00] Denisha: like to attach this week. Watch on our social media count, because I'm actually, I'm gonna do exactly what you just said, a paper with some lines on it that says, the lies we're believing. And then maybe another page that has some truths from scripture that people can pull from and write in that spot.

[00:34:20] Denisha: So we're gonna do a little handout on this because I love that action step of sitting down with the Lord and saying, what lies am I believing? We could unpack just. For whole month. Huh? . What a great practice though. So we're gonna have a handout on that just to coach everybody along as they decide to do it and to encourage you to print it and to actually take that step that Norma just suggested.

[00:34:42] Denisha: You've given us so many amazing ways to have a healthy heart and just such practical ways, everything you were saying. I'm like, oh yes. Oh yes. Cause I can relate to it personally, right? But I'll bet that you have saved the best tool for. So tell us about that tool and how that restores our 

[00:34:59] Guest: [00:35:00] hearts.

[00:35:00] Guest: Yeah, so actually Danisha I spoke on this at a women's retreat a little over a year ago, but it wasn't until maybe a month ago I woke up first thing in the morning and I was like, I forgot the tool of Thanksgiving. And so I added a sixth tool and I'm calling it a super. Giving God thanks is like a super tool in that we can use it to create emotional wholeness as we apply it to each attack on our hearts, whether it's sin, offense, loss, or deception.

[00:35:37] Guest: Having a heart full of gratitude releases healing to our hearts. It's been scientifically proven that gratefulness reduces toxic emotions such as bitterness, envy, resentment and regret. And being thankful also improves our sleep and our immunity while decreasing depression, anxiety, and chronic pain.

[00:35:59] Guest: So [00:36:00] gratitude, and I love how Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Gratitude boosts the narrow neuro transmit. Serotonin, which activates dopamine, which is our brain's pleasure chemical, and those are all wonderful motivators to have grateful hearts. But First Thessalonians five 18 makes it clear that it's really an issue of obedience.

[00:36:26] Guest: Give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Giving God thanks is a choice. It's an act of our will that tells God. Use this hurt, use this woundedness and loss for my good and for your glory. Being thankful is a way that we reframe the circumstance by faith. We choose to believe and place our trust in God's sovereignty.

[00:36:54] Guest: Thanksgiving places us in a position of humility and dependence upon God to come [00:37:00] through for us, and it demonstrates our trust in God and restores our. Being thankful changes our focus away from sin, hurt, loss, or deception, and turns our gaze back on upon the healer. When we give God thanks, we are by faith agreeing with who he is and what he can do.

[00:37:23] Guest: On our behalf. Last month Danisha, I struggled emotionally while recovering from Covid as I felt myself, just spiraling down into discouragement. The Holy Spirit instructed me to give him thanks. He showed me that having a grateful heart would protect me from falling into that black hole of self-pity.

[00:37:45] Guest: And once I chose to give him thanks, my attitude began. Began to. And it's also important to give God a sacrifice of praise even during times of grief. Hebrews 1315 [00:38:00] says that through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise, the fruit of lips that openly profess his name, giving thanks.

[00:38:11] Guest: While we're experiencing sorrow, cost of something, it's a sacrifice. And sacrificial thank offerings are a way that we give honor to God and express our love and devotion to him. So being thankful is an act of worship. Praise is worshiping God over our circumstances and acknowledging that he is greater and more important than what is going on in our lives.

[00:38:38] Guest: So Danisha that wraps up the six tools that God has given us to have. Healthier emotional hearts, hurts, won't go. Magically unless we deal with them. So use confession, repentance, forgiveness, grieving, telling yourself God's truth and the super tool of Thanksgiving to take care of your heart. [00:39:00]

[00:39:01] Denisha: Amen. Amen.

[00:39:03] Denisha: Yes. May it be Amen. Yes. And as we go in this week, we are, for those of you listening to this the first few days that it comes out, we are heading into Thanksgiving. So the first thing I was thinking of is as we go around the table and say what we're thankful for, that we're actually getting a nice little dose of serotonin in that moment.

[00:39:24] Denisha: Giving glory to God. It's helping us feel better and it's encouraging one another. So Norma, thank you. These were amazing tips and I just, I appreciate your heart and your wisdom, and thank you for sharing it with 

[00:39:36] Guest: us. My pleasure. Anytime Danisha. 

[00:39:40] Denisha: So Norma, how can we find you? How can we find you outside of this podcast episode?

[00:39:45] Guest: It's restoring and there are many blog posts on there, but also audio things that you can listen to, free resources. So I encourage the listeners to take advantage. 

[00:39:59] Denisha: And if you wanna [00:40:00] grab Norma's book, restoring Your Heart to Deepen Intimacy, you can grab that like I did on Amazon. So thank you so much, Norma, and we'll see you next time.

[00:40:09] Denisha: Sounds good. Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation, and maybe even feel a little less alone in your story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at reclaimed. Wanna learn more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our growing community of Reclaimers?

[00:40:30] Denisha: Check out our All of those links and more will be in the show notes. And if you enjoy this inspirational podcast, be sure to subscribe, rate and review. Not only will you be the first one to know when new content comes out, but it is also a huge help in helping us reach more people to live the reclaimed life.[00:41:00]