Embracing Your Identity ~ Robin Blumenthal Ep. 78

Have you ever got caught in the shoulda, woulda, coulda’s? Spending too much time living in that train of thought can lead to feelings of inadequacy, and we can find ourselves on the shame train. How do we rewire our thought patterns and align them with our identity in Christ? 

Let's discuss that in this episode with Robin Blumenthal as we conclude our mini-series on shame. Let’s get off the shame train and embrace the identity that God intended for us.  

In today’s episode, Robin quotes Curt Thompson, “We want to be so deeply known that shame has no place to hide.” 

If you are looking for a place to be authentic, to live real life among other authentic women, join us in our private Facebook group, Living the Reclaimed Life. There are some pretty fantastic women on there, including Robin, with a deep desire to live out of the freedom that Jesus came to give us; let’s do it together. 

Now for this episode with Robin Blumenthal.  

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Transcript

Transcript is auto-generated.

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

shame, people, god, robin, trauma, reclaimed, life, identity, train, church, book, thought, brain, hide, feel, compassion, judging, live, thinking, respond

SPEAKERS

Robin Blumenthal, Denisha Workizer

Denisha Workizer  00:00

Have you ever got caught in this should have woulda coulda is spending too much time living in that train of thought can lead to feelings of inadequacy, and we can find ourselves on the shame train. So how do we rewire our thought patterns and align them with our identity in Christ? Let's discuss that in this episode with Robin Blumenthal as we conclude our mini series on shame. Let's get off the shame train and embrace the identity that God intended for us. In today's episode, Robin says we want to be so deeply known that shame has no place to hide. And if you're looking for a place to be authentic to live real life among other authentic women, join us in our private Facebook group living the reclaimed life. There are some pretty fantastic women on there, including Robin with a deep desire to live out of the freedom that Jesus came to give us. So let's do it together. We hope to see you there. Now for this episode with Robin Blumenthal. Welcome to Living the Reclaim life Podcast. I'm Tanisha We're glad you're here for conversations that revive hope, inspire healing and encourage you to live a vibrant life with Christ. So grab a cup of coffee as we chat with today's guest. Today, we are going to continue our conversation on the topic of shame. And I don't know about you, but this is kind of been a fun month considering we've had a pretty heavy topic. And we're going to continue that conversation today with my friend Robin Blumenthal. And now I'm going to take just a minute before Robin comes on and says hello and I'm going to brag about her just a little bit. Robin is the reason that I got involved in trauma informed care. And so we're going to talk about that in a minute. But Robin is a trauma informed trainer, a parenting coach. Yep, I know y'all want her number right as speaker and a writer. She also serves in a part time role as a local outreach pastor at Pantanal Christian Church in Tucson, Arizona. She has a passion for partnering with schools and churches. She believes that within our churches, schools and communities understand the effects of trauma it changes how we respond and how we show up for others and so true. And we win when we respond to those around us with compassion, empathy, we help build bridges of connection and healing. Robin and her husband Roger had been married for 30 years and have six daughters who call them mom and dad, including four biological one adopted and one of unofficially adopted. They ranged from ages 17 to 35. So I would say that Robin is definitely well versed in being a parenting coach for sure. Our her life is full with family, grandkids church and ministry. She is a certified trainer with the Asus consortium and a trained independent facilitator of the love and logic curriculum. She has a bachelor's in child development and a master's in human resource leadership. And she published her first book in November of 2022. Robin, let's kick this episode off and talk about can we talk about your book for a second? Because I love it, you pick the perfect time to publish this particular book. So welcome, Robin.

Robin Blumenthal  03:20

Well, thank you for all event danisha. Gosh, I could equally say so much about you. And I just want to say what a blessing is to be here. And to be able to watch as God leads each of us in these new areas of life, these trajectory changes that grabs so many things of our paths, so many things that we've been through. And then in this journey together, and I love watching what God is doing in and through you and through the claim story. So thanks for having me. The book, were in the Zoom is where in the zoo are you? And we really came about listening to the different responses people were having during the pandemic, right people who were feeling like, oh, this whole thing is just a joke. And if you had enough faith, it'd be fine to people who are like if I go outside, I'm going to get sick and die. And really, it brought to mind how we need to understand each other's perspective. It's really about perspective. So it's written where there's a flood that takes place in the zoo, while the animals have different experiences within the same flood, how the zookeepers come in, and how they work together to teach them empathy and compassion. And it's been fun. But really, I was wanting to write a book, I had no idea that that would be my first book. But really, God just put it all together at that time in place.

Denisha Workizer  04:33

I love that. And I know your book is a children's book, but I can tell you as an adult, it was very helpful even to me to really kind of understand different perspectives and how different people were responding to the pandemic. But I did read it with our kids, which ranged anywhere at the time when your book came out anywhere from 10 to 14 or 10 to 16, I guess at the time, and so yeah, I thought it was very helpful in a lot of ways and I think just the ocean We're all feeling that you get from the book to is also that we all respond to things in different ways. And so kind of wearing culture where in society do we fall when we respond to things. And I think knowing that your history and trauma informed care, I just think that that it's applicable in and out of the pandemic, for sure.

Robin Blumenthal  05:21

And you know, it's interesting how it ties in to shame is because when we are sitting there, and if I am judging you for how you react or how you respond, or I'm judging myself, or I'm thinking, I'm not having any self compassion, like, Why did I react that way? Why did I respond that way? It's those that judgment, that little bit of almost like a seed, seed of shame that can get planted in us, for a lot of people, right, there's been a lot of traumatic things that's caused that seed and other times, it's just a day to day, things that I should have, would have could have done this. And that seed that gets planted. And when that seed of shame starts, then we lose our identity. And so I think, really, I guess I could see how that would connect. But But I have just seen how much that has become true for me to understand in the last couple years. Um, just those how all of that ties together.

Denisha Workizer  06:12

Let's talk about identity. I love that you brought that up, how does identity play in to shame?

Robin Blumenthal  06:18

I think that when we are reviewing ourselves through this lens of judgment, or what we could be or what we should be, are we viewing ourselves through the lens of who God says we are. And so whether it's the pandemic, or whatever's happened to us, I think that if all of us, as believers really caught, who God created us to be in that freedom that we are seen and known and loved by God, I think it changes everything. But the reality is that and even if we're not believers, right, even if we can just know that we are seen and known and loved for people who, who maybe don't profess a faith, or it's a brand new faith, but I think what happens is, it's so easy for us to get distracted by the mistakes that we made, or trauma that's been done to us, or even tiny seeds of planting that that account just like for me, I have, I am always feeling shameful over. I was born with a lazy eye, which is really in the scope of things so small. But every time when I look like in a mirror, or even honestly, on a zoom call, I will you might have even noticed as we were doing this, I'm playing with my glasses because I don't have my computer glasses and my other ones I can't see you is clearly and then I think oh my gosh, my eyes look so stupid. And then it attaches into all those things that is a child or whatever had happened to you. And it's so easily just distract us. I don't know I have you if you read the book, Christine Caine, unashamed?

Denisha Workizer  07:44

Yes. I think we need to add that to our resources for this meddler. Sure, great book.

Robin Blumenthal  07:49

I know in it, and I think you were the one of the I had, like five people tell me in a row, and I'm like, Okay, God, apparently, this is the book you want me to read. But she has this part in here. In fact, I'm like, I love this. She talks about, she had gone on the wrong train one day, and as she got on the train, she ends up in a whole different place in Australia than she was trained to be. And she was talking about how our brains can do that, like, right, those neurons that fire together, wire together. And it really made me think about these trains of thought. So if I get stuck, and I start thinking about how I look, or how I respond, or the fear that I have, or that judge, whatever it is, any of those trains of thought, can really take us down this road. And the next thing you know, you're on this shame train, and you are ending up at this place that you don't want to be, and it's so hard to get back out of it. And how do we capture those thoughts? You know, so that we can change that and say, you know, I am seen and known and loved, I'm not perfect, or I made this mistake, or maybe I don't look how I want to look. But I'm still seen and known and loved. Maybe I don't act, how I want to act, but I'm seen and known and loved? And how do we capture those thoughts and put them on the right train of thought, so that our brain can begin to kind of rewire so that we don't live in that life of shame. Because when we do, that's when we don't have that identity piece, right? Our diet, our identity becomes something that is not what God intended. And to be honest with you, I see so many people in life and they're like, Oh, I wish I could or I should have or I wanted to. And I think literally this shame train took them to this place. And they didn't either realize or or say you know what, I'm gonna get on a different train. Because I want to be on the identity train, the one that actually speaks truth to my soul.

Denisha Workizer  09:31

I love that visual of getting on the wrong train and getting off at a stop and you're like, This is not the land I wanted to live in. This isn't where I wanted to be. When you talk about rewiring, this is something actually in the last couple of years since you have brought me in and opened my eyes to the trauma informed world. The idea of rewiring let's talk a little more about that because I know I didn't know about that until you know taking a dive into the world of trauma

Robin Blumenthal  10:00

A friend of mine used this analogy about, if you go to your friend's house, right, and you need a new cup of sugar, because you didn't have enough sugar in your baking, and you walk in, there's a big weeded, like an empty lot between you. And you know, when you walk through an empty lot and the weeds might be up to your knees, and you kind of have to muddle your way through. But you did that, right. And let's say you needed sugar again tomorrow, and you go, and you can probably see where some of those weeds were bent down. So you go again, but let's say you need a cup of sugar every day for 10 years, eventually, that pathway will get so worn that things will not be growing on it. So it's a worn pathway. I when I was hearing that, I thought, Oh, this makes sense. That's how our brain works. That's how these neuro pathways I've heard it explained another way that if if you have a river, and there's a small offshoot of the river, it's like a trickle that's coming out from the river. And if the water continues on that little trickle it will get wider and wider until it becomes its own river. And that's those trains of thought that can start that's how the neural pathways can start. Maybe I experienced something traumatic as a child, and if it's a one time thing, and I can redirect that it's different. But what if I get caught in that and say, you know, instead of this man was bad, to all the men I meet are bad to every man is bad. And our brains can sometimes do that. You know, I think about the Have you ever seen the ruts to the Oregon Trail? I don't know if you've ever traveled there. But they aren't like literally when you go to see him, whatever, Utah somewhere on some vacation we saw. And they were like four feet deep in rock. And I thought, oh my gosh, think about the hundreds of wagons that went through muddy grounds. And it got so firm that if your wagon was in there, you couldn't possibly make a Quick Left turn anywhere, right? You're so embedded in that. And when I think about that, that neurons that fire together, wire together, that's what science has taught us. But that makes the train so much it makes you understand why do people keep thinking the way they think when it when it's maybe either harmful or whatever, you know, then it helps us to not even be shamed in the way we're thinking because we can understand how it happened. Now we have to figure out how do we move from that. But instead of saying, I'm so stupid, I keep going back here, it's because your brain has made that pathway and it's so strong, it's hard to change, but it's not impossible to change.

Denisha Workizer  12:23

I think that's so encouraging to know that we can change that we can go to the neighbor's to get sugar and decide to go two feet to our left, instead of going down that beaten path where it's like, oh, this is easy. This is what the way I've always walked. This is how I've always thought that we can just make that switch. And at first, I would assume the first time we walk through that weeded, you know area to get to the neighbor's house, we're gonna have to step on some things that might pop us in the face a little bit, you know, we're gonna have to, like stomp down that ground so that we can get over there. And is that the same with bots? The more that when we try to take that next path? Have we tried to create a new path in our minds, you know, as we rewire? Is that a little bit hard to do at first versus taking the one that we've always taken?

Robin Blumenthal  13:10

Well, absolutely. And I think because our brain is doing so many things, right? It's going to take the easier way, because then there's less, maybe time, whatever brain time looks like. And think about that if you're going to your neighbors and your your cookies are gonna burn but you ran out of sugar for the next batch, you're gonna, you're like, Okay, I'm just gonna go ahead on the the trail because you're consciously choosing that. Or if you're not thinking about it, if you were on the phone, I bet you before you realize you would have meandered back to the easier trail, because that's just the way it goes. So when you think about the predictive brain, think about the things that happen in our life, that we based on our experiences, our brain either predicts threat or safety. And it takes a long time for a brain to predict something else. So if I have been raised with a lot of shame, and I meet a new person, and they say something about the way I'm dressed, or what I said, if I'm not really careful that if I don't capture that thought, you know, the Bible talks about like, right, hold every thought captive. If I don't capture that, my brain is gonna say, Yep, this is another one of those people who's unsafe, because your brain is quickly categorizing everything so that it can think about whatever new is coming in. So it's that predictive brain really makes a lot of sense when you think about that. And I think all of that together, has for me, helped me me when I am talking to someone when I'm helping someone. And part of me is like, oh my gosh, why in the world? Would you be making the same bad choice or the same harmful choice or are not loving yourself enough to do X, Y or Z? When I understand this, then I think it gives me more compassion for them. And and then I'm not going to add more shame by you know, saying like, I can't believe you're doing it again. And that's hard even for me to change that because my first thought is, why are you doing this again? I'm like, wait a minute. I have to remember the science behind it. The trauma behind it. You know what has happened? That has a

Denisha Workizer  14:59

learning that has allowed me to have so much more compassion for myself. When I find myself stuck in that traditional rut, you know, when this happens, this will happen. And I think that has been really good for me to know, like you said that our brain predicts what's going to happen next, based on our past experiences, right? And just knowing that that's how God made us. And he made us that way to protect us, right, so that we can identify like you said, threat or safety. And so I think that gives me a lot of compassion for myself. When I asked myself, Why would you do that again?

Robin Blumenthal  15:32

Well, even it's hard because I know even if I, let's say, right, when you start to think, Oh, I've got this under control, like, whether let's say it's public speak, right? And you're like, I'm starting to feel comfortable, I'm, I'm pretty good. And people really liked me. And then something will happen. And then you will get shamed, like, How shameful of me to think that I actually can do this job. So now, it's not even shame that, oh, I can't do that, or I'm gonna fail at that. But then Satan just has this way of switching, right? So now you feel shame that you felt good about it. And I think it's such a fine line, and you're like, oh, my gosh, how am I ever gonna get out of it. And that's where I think it's so important for us to remember the identity that God has given us, and that He has created us and that we are seen by him and known by him and loved by Him. And it's hard to remember, you would think it'd be easy, but it seems hard to remember. And I think one of those things that we just have to continue to capture those thoughts, and say, No, God knew that I would make this mistake, or God knew that I would do good. And God knew that I needed to be humbled, but he also wants to me to be thankful for how He created me to be able to excel in this area.

Denisha Workizer  16:38

You know, it's you're saying that, okay, I'm going to share you shared a vulnerable moment, I'll share a vulnerable moment here. Last night, I'm cleaning out this kind of, you know, how you have those little spots in your house, you just sort of stuff stuff. And then all of a sudden, one day you go, Okay, there's no more room to stuff stuff. So I need to go through the stuff that I've stuffed. And so last night, I go through there, and I find like nine or 10 typed pages of a journal, that I'm the big journaler I love to journal. And not everybody is that's totally okay. But I happen to like to journal and it was a must not have been wanting to write it out. So I typed it out and then printed it. And it was back from 2007 and 2008. And it's literally me wrestling with God over feeling like he's calling me to get into public speaking from somebody who sits on the last row at church slips in really quiet, total introvert. And I feel and I am wrestling through this, and you can hear the shame. In my, in my just in my journaling. Oh my God, it was fascinating. And I thought if I only knew it, because in 2007, and eight I had not I used to when I was at the jewelry store, I would train people, but I'd never been on a stage or platform, nor had I ever wanted to Okay. And fast forward 2010 I ended up working for our church. And I think it was like 2012 here. I'm an ordained pastor and I got invited to be on our preaching team. And so this is five years before I ever took that leap. And I share this because I want I read through my journals, and it's intense. Like I shared in there. And I said, I sat at a conference today. This was like, I went to this major conference thing where I was going to conferences constantly. And I said, I sat there in the audience thinking someday I'm going to be up there. And this isn't out of a desire, like I want to be on a platform. This really isn't that this is like I feel God's saying one day, I'm going to be up there. And then I had 12 reasons why I'm not qualified, why you should never do that. Why I'd be terrible at it. And why for some reason, I must be in pride. And I must be like, just trying to elevate myself. Like literally, it's this wrestling. And as I read through it, I thought that's so interesting. I was like a shame. It was like trying to talk myself out of it before I ever gave God the opportunity to fulfill it.

Robin Blumenthal  19:03

Whoa, I love that. Quote.

Denisha Workizer  19:07

Yes, it was so interesting. And as I read it, I thought it was a part of me it was like oh, sweet girl, Little did you know that you would be on a preaching team at your church and then you'd be traveling nationally public speaking, and never did I want that. And there is it was I mean pages and pages and an every entry was some sort of wrestling of either me telling God why I could never do that. Why I'd be absolutely terrible at and anybody who ever put me up there would regret it, too. But I feel like God's calling me to do this. And so that's so interesting. It's like I was jumping pads. Like okay, this one feels familiar. I'm gonna stay on there well, but this I think he's calling me No, he can't be calling me like I was totally doing that. And that was a piece of identity. You know you we can be anybody only God can call us to do crazy things, even things we're not qualified for. I am living proof of that one.

Robin Blumenthal  19:59

Well, in the real LOD is, the more that I have walked in this Christian life, the more I think that when I'm in my better frame of mind, and I think, you know, who am I to be doing X, Y, or Z, or speaking or whatever it might be. And then sometimes I think that God is like, well, who are you not to do what I have put in you to do? And the reality is that God brought us sometimes through these times, like, I come to the conclusion that if I looked at the way I'd like to look as a speaker, then I wouldn't lean into God, he wouldn't have had to pave that way, right? Because I would think, Oh, I look amazing. And you know, I can sound amazing. So therefore, I don't really need God. And so I look at that, that God uses these times, to say, like, I'm gonna remind you that it is me that is leading this way that I am the one who call you out of your identity. Right? I think about Gideon, he's one of my favorite characters in the in the Old Testament in the Bible. And when he talks about, like, you know, who am I to be used to save the Israel? Save Israel's out of Midians hand, and God's like, am I not sending you? I mean, like, it's a rhetorical question, I'm sure God, like, what's really your problem here? You know? And he's like, Well, Lord, I don't know if you notice, but I'm the least of my clan. And I don't know this. And I don't know that and I don't know how to fight. And then God has to pare down the army he can take with him. And I think precisely so that Gideon, will will be able to say, I am able to do this because you said I could do it. If Gideon had said, absolutely God, you said I can do it, give me 10 men or a million men, it's going to be fine. But no, he kind of just kept dragging his feet. So God's like, I'm gonna get you more and more out of your comfort zone, so that you can both like live in that identity and know that it is I who gave you that identity in that role? And God does that so many times, right, Moses and Esther, I, Peter, I think, and every once in awhile, I think, and Robin, and Tanisha, right? Because God's still in that business of helping us to say, Satan wants you to live in this shame. But I have created you for this identity in this purpose.

Denisha Workizer  22:01

Amen. And that is applicable, right? We happen to be on this podcast today as two people who are in public speaking, per se. And I know that before when I would sit when I would sit in the audience at church before I was on staff, and before I stood in front of that microphone, terrified. I remember thinking they have it all together. And so I think it's here we happen to be thrust into this place where we are doing this, but the same, the same thing that you're speaking of Robin is for, I think of when the years when I was a stay at home mom, I think for the years when I you know started a business when I was you know, working as you know, an assistant at church like I think of when I first got married, who am I to get married? You know, my, you know, I come from a long line of divorce, like, who am I to think I'm going to be married for the rest of my life? Who am I to raise? You know, my children? Am I a good enough mom. And I think a lot of people can really relate to those feelings too, depending on where, where you are in life. And I know that in each of those phases, I have felt like like Gideon, you know, and where I felt like if I had this, I would be better but God, like I've had to lean into God as a stay at home mom, as, as a wife is all different places in life has taken me in different seasons, I've had to lean into him. And I love what Gideon says, or what God says to get in, go in the strength you have. And I love that because he was probably like, I don't have a whole lot of strength. And did you not hear all the things I just told you? And now you're taking people away? And what's going on here? Right? But to go in the strength you have. And so Robin, what would you say to someone who's listening who thinks yeah, like I have lived outside of an identity that God has for me, I've lived outside of what the Word of God says I am I've lived outside of a pulling maybe of something that I feel led to do, whether it's be a parent, whether it's take a you know, leap of faith in a particular area, or step out and do something a little scary. Sometimes it can be cooking a new recipe. Like if we're not just that identity of who we say we are in moments when we tell ourselves we can't what what would you say to someone listening who's felt that way?

Robin Blumenthal  24:19

Do you remember the game I'm sure you played it hide and seek. And you think about how is that when Adam and Eve in the garden and they had sin they had gone against God's will in this case they knowingly did it. Sometimes things have happened to us that caused shame to live in us that weren't anything having to do with us right there was an abuse or a or trauma that happened to us but regardless we find ourselves in this place where we are hiding and then when you think when there's time when it's your turn right if you're playing the game and tag and you get it but now it's your turn to go and find somebody and I think sometimes that we get stuck right i i want to hide but Maybe what would it look like if I seek what it would look like if I started seeking God, and allowed myself to be found in that even. So, you know, as a kid, you're kind of like you're one or the other, but you can't really hide and seek at the same time, right? Because if I'm going to be hiding, I can't be out there seeking for what God has for me. And so I think we have to decide in that train of thought are we going to, and it might even be a day to day it might be an hour to hour or minute to minute, am I going to hide in this moment? Or am I going to seek who God says I am, what God has for me what God has planned for me. And I think that's so interesting, because we tend to will go through, I think we all go through seasons, right, that I'm hiding right now, or I am afraid to be seen. And I talked to so many women and any points of life, and they're like, I just I don't have that in me or because of this abuse, or this trauma or this past or my choices. And they get stuck in that hiding. And the thing is that that's where Satan can capture us because he says you should stay there. But what if, what if we said, God, I am, I am all yours. It's funny, because a lot of times people will say, Oh, gosh, Robert, I love listening to you speak. And I'm like, I don't know how like, I don't finish my sentences. And I do this. And I do that. And I'm like, but you're so real. And the funny thing is the people that the things that people most like about when I speak is when I share my vulnerability and my mistakes. I was preaching a sermon on Sunday, just this past thing, and I was talking about the one thing led to another, I'm talking about my closet on stage and the clothes that fit before the pandemic, pandemic, after the pandemic, and the few clothes that fit now, right, and everybody's laughing because we can all relate. I just said it in front of a few 1000 people. So the reality is that piece where you're kind of like, shamed in terms of like, oh my gosh, like, you know, what should I wear? I mean, it was a whole crisis, I can only fit into two bands, like which ones do I wear? My daughter's like, I certainly wouldn't wear either of those that like, well, she's like, Here, try these pants on. I'm like, they don't fit No, keep trying. No, clearly, clearly, I am not going to lose four inches overnight. So the reality is, though, right, that when we are ourselves, more people typically are attracted to us. And think about the God who created us Gunas every cell in our body? And isn't he more attracted to who we are just in the midst of everything than anything else. But Satan just whispers If only you were or it's not enough, or they will judge or no one can relate. And it's so easy to you know, to lean into that, because it goes along with that that fear inside of us. But I just had been recently thinking about that, you know, am I going to hide? Or am I going to seek in anyway? I don't know if that answers your question. But the visual that's come to my mind lately.

Denisha Workizer  27:54

It's so does and when I think of hiding, I think of the isolation that comes with that. And as you said, that's when the enemy can come in and really kind of do some damage and pull us even deeper into isolation. But when we're healing and vulnerability comes out is in communities with other people.

Robin Blumenthal  28:14

You know, they're a visual came to my mind when I was reading Christine Keens book. It was a I forget what she was talking about. But I thought about if I'm a person, and I'm carrying a lot of baggage, right, I got a backpack and I got suitcases. And I don't want anyone to see this. So I'm just gonna throw a shawl over me. Right and you walk down, you can totally see that I'm carrying all this stuff, right? You don't know what I'm carrying. But it's clear that I'm a little more bumpy might usually be in the reality is we feel like well, no one can really see this. But they can see that something isn't quite there. And if I walk in front of a mirror, and if I take that shawl off myself, I can maybe face and say, You know what, I'm carrying baggage that I don't need to carry anymore. I think God said Let me carry that for you. And you're like, No, no, no, I'm gonna hide it under the shawl. It's like, yeah, like a kid and you're like, clearly we can all see it. You got four suitcases under there, you know? And then But then you're like, oh, no, no, now they're gonna judge me and it's like, but you're like, almost you're biting that because you're keeping it hidden. And it's it's just like the cycle and I'm like, why wouldn't we just say I'm taking all this I'm putting the suitcase down. And I'm just gonna go run free yet. Oh, gosh, we don't and so many times you're like, but that's what we want. Like that's the desires of our heart. So how do we how do we get to that place? It's takes a lot of work I think. But it's so worth it. It's so rewarding.

Denisha Workizer  29:32

You know when you said just now when you said I take those that backpack off, I take those off and I can run free. I could physically feel my shoulders coming down. But you just eat your words just saying that I was like, That's relieving even just the word picture of that because we do we carry the baggage of the all the things right? So many different, we could name our bags, they would have all the stuff we step inside But sometimes we don't know the weight that we're carrying until we feel the weight of it's released. And I really, I feel like there's so much freedom in that too, just to face it, seek what the Lord has to say about that find some trusted community to hang out in and have a safe place to process Boy, that's our heart is to provide women with that safe place to be able to unpack those bags and say, Look, there's this, am I still okay? Like, if that's where another woman goes, I got that my bad to look, you know, and we can come and have that safe place to be vulnerable. So I just love everything that you shared. And you have a huge heart Robin for equipping people who help others. And so before we go today, would you tell us a little bit about reclaiming hope that's coming up here in Tucson, you have to be in Tucson, so I'm so sorry, this year is not virtual. But if you're in Tucson, tell us a little bit about this conference.

Robin Blumenthal  30:57

I will and then don't let me forget because I want to close with a quote by Kurt Thompson. Yes, wrote the book The soul of shame. So that way, we'll get back to something really deep in a way that you know, at the end is people walk away. But the reclaiming hope conference, this will be our fourth time doing it. We are super excited. It's going to be live. It will be hosted at Pantanal Christian church. You can Google the information. But we will have a keynote speakers will have breakouts and we're covering all kinds of things like the if you think about say everything from addiction, what happens in addiction and the stigma and the shame that goes with it, that keeps some of those cycles going. We'll talk about resilience, we'll talk about self care, we have some sessions on working with trauma informed discipleship, like how do we as people who help others, whether we're from the faith, community, educators, social services, first responders, if we want to help others, we need to have some tools, like our love is the biggest thing, that connected relationship. But if I can have some tools and some knowledge and some understanding, it changes the lens I use, and it changes how I interact with you. So many times, I will tell people, the more that I have learned about trauma and how it shapes the lives of the people around me, I think it better helps me to show up for them in their life. And better helps me even in my own life, to be more self compassionate. And self compassion really starts with me, if I'm going to be compassionate for you, I have to be compassionate with myself. And that's hard. If you're a perfectionist, like me, I'm like, Oh, I'll worry about myself later. But the reality is, if I'm judging myself, there's parts of me that are judging you to it. And that's something that I've had to learn in the last few years. So I hope people will come it's a it's a one day time, you'll get to choose the sessions and the breakouts have a lot of community resources. And I Indonesia is going to be there sharing an amazing topic on what to say and what not to say when people are going through hard times. And I tell you, if I had taken your session, I would have saved a lot of heartache. I know, in my own times in life and what I've said things to people, just not understanding and not knowing. And I would rather have not been my age now and learning these things would have been so much more helpful to myself and those around me right if I had learned that when I was in my younger years.

Denisha Workizer  33:11

Oh, so many things. For me if I learned before, I know Yeah, this conference, it's so great. You know, when I first went the very first year, I did it so that I could learn more about me. So I went to every class, even though it's about being helpers, right? Whether you're, you know, working at a church, a teacher, you know, a foster parent, a first responder, it's, it's a, it's in that capacity of how do you serve others, but I went the first year personally, to figure out how do I serve my kids? How do I serve people that I interact with? And if you approach it with that lens, I really think it's applicable to everyone who has an interest in trauma informed knowledge. And then if you're in the helping capacity, oh, I just think it is just so relevant for today. So I appreciate you hosting that. And if you guys want to sign up for that, do it soon. And there's definitely an early bird special there. But it's Pantanal dot church slash reclaiming hope.

Robin Blumenthal  34:12

And you what's interesting is I just think that we all either have been through trauma, or we know someone who's been through trauma have we've all had, everybody has a story. And even if somebody's like, well, I don't really know what my story is or how that relates. There's somebody close to us within that sphere of our family or a couple of neighbors or coworkers. There is hurt that is out there and we want to be part of the healing. We want to be part of helping people to feel that they're not alone. This power of presence. One of the things comes and says is that where there's our work, we talked about how we want to be so deeply known that shame has no place to hide. So you think that what God says in His word, right, where there is light, there can be no darkness. And I think that the more we understand some of these things, the more we can show up and then I'm going to closed my heart with Kurt Thompson. He says that in shames healing, we become recommissioned to do and make the things we were created by God to do and make. And I love that because I just think that Satan has. He's just really kidnapped, so to speak our identity, and he's tied it up. And when we can get back there when we can just lay that shame aside and be healed from it. Think of the amazing things that are in us that can be released because we feel the freedom to live how God has called us to live.

Denisha Workizer  35:35

So good. So God, I love that. Robin, I absolutely love you and love having you on the podcast. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, your vulnerability with all of all of the listeners today. So thank you.

Robin Blumenthal  35:48

Thank you for all you do. And thanks for having me. You are amazing. And I'm one of your number one followers. So go Tanisha

Denisha Workizer  35:55

go Robin. Go Team.

Robin Blumenthal  35:58

Go. Team Go Team. Yes.

Denisha Workizer  36:01

Well, we hope that you found hope and some encouragement in today's episode as we conclude our month talking about the topic of shame, and we will see you same time, same place next week. Thanks for listening. I pray you found hope in today's conversation and maybe even feel a little less alone in your story. Stay connected with us on Facebook and Instagram at reclaimed story. Want to learn more about living a reclaimed life and how you can be a part of our growing community ever claimers? Check out our website at reclaimed story.com all of those links and more will be in the show notes. And if you enjoy this inspirational podcast Be sure to subscribe rate and review. Not only will you be the first one to know when new content comes out, but it is also a huge help and helping us reach more people to live the reclaimed life.